When people ask "why I do what I do"
I say " the answers right beside you"
Yet it is like a haiku
Give an honest answer but I can lie too

The better question is "why do you do what you do"
If the answer is voodoo
I can say " well who knew"
But I can see right through you.

If I could fly on borrowed wings
I'd fly to whom my heart sings
I would list one thousand perfect things
And cover her with gold and crystal rings.

How does it make you feel?
Is it real?
Because i'm so broken and alone
Lost in this zone
I can't atone
Lost In a mind set
I'm set,to **** myself

I am going to hack a wound so deep it could end me
I'll do it in a place where none can see
Just incase it doesn't cease me to be
But I'll try **** hard to be set free

Casting out the line of indifference
As I fish for a meaning
Something of significance
To all others,daydreaming

I am not a blanket,I am not there to comfort you.
I am the raging storm,I will weather you,I will try to break you and if you can survive being in my presence then you are a warrior.
you will be deserving of the warm sun that follows the rage of my heart and the ruthless passion of my mind.
I am a ******* hurricane.

What are these memories?these dreams of tomorrow?
For what purpose do I spill this sorrow?
Why do I shed tears for something that we never got to live
Soul bore bare and for actions you should not forgive.

Flushing hot and cold
Spewing loud and bold
But this hangover is going on hold
As my artwork needs to be sold

Lack
Of
Vexatious
Ego

Liberation
Of
Valued
Emotion

Life
Over
Vu­lnerable
Entrapment

As to,

Hurts
At
The
End

Harms
Anyone
That
Enters

Hinders
Anything
Trust
Eased

Break the ideal of life across my spine
Break my back and leave me a physical *******
Let my mind be,sully yourself on my physique
Just let my mind be,nothing is sacred
Its all erroneous, eroding our atomic fabric
Energy displaced,trapped in mortal phase
You live and die but once
But you stay dead **forever

Pared off
May as well be like your hair,scwattzkoft
Except that your a toff
And I know,that I have scoffed

Wanna get close to what you are
No matter how close,but you're so far
I'll bang a different jar
Compared to a ton of tar

What god sits on your throne?
Will they save you when you're broken and alone?
Will they forgive you for things you can't atone?
Because my God produces endless love shown

His heart so big he adopted me as a child
And loves me despite being unruly and wild
He loves that I'm unique and self styled
He forgave my sin when I defiled

He believes in me even when I can't
He let's me talk to him even when its just a rant
He straightens me when my life is on a slant
He strengthens my faith when it is scant

He revealed himself to me and made me a man
Ask yourself is that something your god can?
Do you worship or are you just a fan?
When you need someone where have you ran?

You said good day
I said,um why?
As I exhaled
You went off to get high

I don't know what is right
Or what I want to be
Don't know how long I can fight
I just want you to want me

But I'll take the hits
Left feeling monrose
Intertwined lovers split
will they break?no one knows

Hold on to the moment
Like a sailor and the wreck
You're not an opponent
We could still be on the deck

But as the ship sinks
And the sailors drown too
We drank a few drinks
And said goodbye to you

From the sadness blast an eruption
Of self destruction
Pulse quickens,hands tremble
Logic begins to disassemble
Reflection resembles a wild dog starving
I begin carving

Deeper
Deeper

Bring me the reaper
Drag me out of this misery and plant me in a grave
Free me from the ******* to emotion,I'm a slave
Fiery whips of self hatred across my back
Mind screaming

Attack
Attack
Attack

Until it fades to black
And I wake up from this being
And constant visions seeing
Nowhere to run always fleeing

Drink
Cut
Drink
Cut

But I don't die
Leaving myself a ****** drunken mess
Serving only as a warning to others
That this is the wrong path

Talking to myself reflection in the fridge
I can't make up for what I did
It's like blowing in the didge
Truth from myself I hid

My little Penny grunts
Contractions start
Prepares to bring life forth
That will steal the heart

She picks birthing partner
Her eldest son
Large black tom
The softest one

She slow blinks
To show she needs calm
Waiting by quietly
In case she raises the alarm

I hope these ones survive
Unlike the last
Here's to a better future
Leave the past in the past

There are less shadows
When you look toward the sun
I cannot wait for longer days
Where I can juggle and have fun

I put a message in a bottle and set it out to sea
On the paper was inscribed "shipwrecked,could die,help me!"
I waited there for days,the only thing I could
Then I got a bottle back,message read "well,that's not good!"

Today is the day
I sail away
But I must say
Thankyou for letting me play

I have not a regret
And with these words you may not forget
In online code it is set
If you want me this is your best bet

I loved you all so very much
But the pain is so strong I can't deal with its touch
Like a rabbit I'll be free from the hutch
The quick way out,drop clutch

Id like to say a thousand things
But I know to well what trouble brings
My heart is heavy sorrow clings
You cannot fly with broken wings

For my son no way to measure  love
No breadth or length or height above
Its controlling I dislike and I've grown sick of
Destroying trust,closeness and things thereof

Time spent between anxiety and elation
Permanently tied to anger of their creation
destroy my life to cause frustration
But you have no chance of my retaliation

The bed is spent
Much like the time
Emotions vent
While drinking wine

Drunken snuggles
And the lovers gaze
Time apart struggles
I count down the days

Striking lovers against the heart like matches
Leaving no mark on it but a small abrasion
Watching them burn out to ebony charcoal

My beauty Daisy
Perfect,fair
All I ask
Is that you care
Lovers embrace
Unbroken stare
Bodies press
While we are bare

Get inspired or intimidated
Metal outlook is reciprocated
You don't wanna lose when you could have made it
You know the game and played it
Sucesess that you coulda tasted
If you move on from getting extra faded
Dreams and actions should be amalgamated
Through all the doubt and fear to be waded

Wine is divine
To refine and shine
For thine can combine
With drunkenness intertwine

To put it chemically
Sodium hydrobromide
I hide
What I can't confide

We set out into a raging storm
On an adventure that would leave me torn

We walked a while in rain and gale
But we walked fast enough not to fail
We stopped at shops to get a few tins
As we moved quick enough to get extra mins
On to the station there after
Your shoes were soaked but still on train was laughter
We reached the city for which we were aiming
Bath Spa if you'd like it naming
Direction to hotel we had no clue
Google maps I'd like to thank you
We journeyed through the city centre
Until the old streets did we enter
Shops with furniture covered in dust
Is desolate shop in that place a must?
I remember you wanted to find £2 shoes
But you couldn't find them so to Morrison's to buy some *****
Then we carried on the hotel trek
It was long,what the heck
But we got there after a good while
I thought it'd only be about a mile
We booked in and entered room
You made coffee and *** to lighten the gloom
We ate shusi and drank some more
Then we ******,the headboard was poor
We stuffed a pillow between it and wall
After all who want the people next door to call
We did it harder and faster like we never had
And for he first time no tears which wasn't bad
We felt more in love than we had before
Had a shower with an open door
A few quick lines and we headed out
A good time to be had no doubt
There were cut outs of kanye and Kim
A dingy bar with lights real dim
We had some shots and got used to the place
Then on dancefloor a dude grabbed you waist and kissed your face
You told me a bloke grabbed your *** at the bar
I already knew this had gone too far
When they open the bottom door
My jaw was going to hit the floor
You were grinding with other guys
I could hardly believe my eyes
Then a guy kissed you on the lips
By now my heart was full of rips
In the end you wanted to leave
I agreed as I wear my heart on sleeve
We got a little way from club
You collapsed in front of pub
I carried you all the way back
I could not wait to hit the sack
You convulsed eyes rolled back in head
I prayed you'd not end up dead
I knew then someone had slipped something in you drink
For your life I had to think
I held you in the shower temperature regulated
Begging you to stay with me while I self hated
But it seemed to work
And I sat there thinking the guy who did this is a ****
I cried and cried and asked God "why?"
I couldn't bare to see you die
I stayed up watching you until you woke
When you did,no memory...no ******* joke
When you asked what occurred
No recall of anything referred
We washed again,then homeward bound
I was so upset but didn't make a sound
I spent that day without saying much
To this memory i'd rather not clutch
I should have taken better care of her
I wish I could forget it,have no memory just a blur

Desperately clawing
like a wild creature
Drawn to each and every
perfect feature

She is all and everything
Make no mistake
I will pour myself dry
more than likely self forsake

Kind hearts are so beautiful
I'd do anything for you please stay
Leave me with good memories
Love me forever

My minds a bit messy
Everythings better with you

Sometimes I worry I'm not good enough
Laughter between us makes it better
Ordinary people will never understand us
Will you grow old with me
Lifes been so much better with you around
You're my everything

There is a fine line between heaven and hell
The line is so blurred I can no longer tell
Much like the angels,from grace one third fell
A fortune as such is perplexing,oh well

The sorrows black hole as love turns to hate
Scrambling frantically emotions negate
Lift up the heart for the wish to elate
It clearly takes two of pure love to equate

The answer was there all along
But the urge to keep looking was too great
I cannot settle while there is adventure to be had
Take my hand,let's find a new tomorrow

I bet you wish you were surrounded by all this ***** begging for your attention,writhing all over you for affection.

Clearly I mean cats.

God,I'm lonely.

"Hush mind hush"

Tears gush.

"What have I done?!"

Thoughts weigh a ton.

"I'm nothing but a shell"

This is hell.

"I'm sorry heart"

I broke us apart.

I'll tear myself apart
Over thoughts of you
The emotion in my heart
Longing for just you

Why do we have to be apart
I cannot handle this
Your beauty fair and mind so smart
It hurts I have to miss

I need your skin
To touch mine
I need your scent
You're so devine

So,I'll tear myself apart
Over thoughts of you
With emotion in my heart
And longing just for you

Ouch, there it is
A real feeling
BANG

The pounding of my head,only silenced by the pounding of my heart.
I wish it would stop beating,the ache has become so unbearable.
I will still it by any means necessary.
Thoughts race across my mind,I've been left behind.
There is no reprieve.
Gather yourself for the last day,make peace with those I wronged.

When you decide to give your all to just one person
Make sure they're in it too or you'll worsen
If they backhand you with lies and decipt
Take 'em back to the store with receipt
Cos they're faulty, they're broken not you
Don't except less just because they can't show they love you