i have been beaten and broken no one will understand the pain i have I'm forever alone and its great all the hate in my soul I'm sorry for the things i have done but I'm not the only one

my souls dead corps is trying to crawl back into me like a dog scratching at a door.

oh how i wish we never met i ******* hate you now but back then we loved each other **** love it was something more i felt it in my body and soul but then that feeling left when you took over when you took control thats when you started to make me sick mentally and physically i wasn't in control but i didn't know because you knew how to deceive me i have this feeling of sickness as i write this it hurts to remember now cause now i can see in-between the lines but back then i was blind by your love

surround me with your love and your grace take me away in this embrace hold me close and never let me go i don't want to leave but your but your pushing me away with every word you say the pain gets worse and worse  and this feels like a horrendous curse like i must submerge and hide deep within away from all the pain and all the sin i remember when you were my sanctum i could tell you anything at all but now i can't trust a word you say because you were corrupted by the evilest of them all me.

there is something tapping the inside of my skull i feel like I'm about to bawl i don't know what to do i feel like god has given up on me like this kid is too ****** up to be saved I'm brave but I'm a slave to my thoughts there eating me away so are my insecurities they will be the death of me i don't eat i don't sleep at night because I'm always in a fight with myself  I'm screaming but yet theres no sound only a ringing in my ears I'm on the verge of tears living is my greatest fear

should i be happy what is it worth to be happy on this earth i see horrible **** everyday and I'm suppose to be glad ******* this **** makes me mad I'm not aloud to express how i feel without being called violent or dangerous so stop me now stop me how no one can i will never shut my mouth

my reflection i hate because of the man who made it because i look just like him i can't stand being the man who i hate hurts so much knowing were exactly the same its such a shame and who's to blame me myself and I i ******* hate those guys but I'm not surprised who doesn't hate me I've been so ******* depressed lately not in my in my normal mental state now I'm ******* crazy but who's to blame me myself and I i ******* hate those guys but yet again I'm sitting on the floor sleeve up cutting because i need to be punished but its funny that my girl can do whatever she wants in the whole wide world and i have too sit and be quiet well ******* i will never be silent just crazy and violent **** everybody idc and people wonder why I'm pulling out my hair