i wish i could just cut out my tongue because I'm done talking I'm addicted to this pain i wish i didn't have a brain oh wait i don't so i guess its a little  better sike i need to stop falling for theses dikes getting into too many fights staying up too many nights turn off the lights and let me be unless you really love me but who would am i right so shut the **** up and lets fight I'm done trying to bite my tongue and keep quiet because when i do i explode like a bomb and everyday I'm ticking so look at me the wrong way and you will experience a dooms day i got nothing else to say unless you wanna see my dooms day

i keep falling down and i am praying for somebody to save me but who would wanna help me who would wanna save me I'm am the monster that is pushed away hated feared but in the end i rip my self apart and deny it and hide it but I'm done trying to live a life that dose not work so keep pushing me away because one day you will never get me back cause i will let my insanity in and you will never see ethan again because that part of my mind will be dead and no love will ever come from me again just pain and misery i wish you could see the bad part of me the part that hides in the dark absess i call a mind because my mind is something only see in their nightmares even god knows better then to look in my ****** up head even the devil is afraid of me god why won't this mental torment let me be but I'm not that lucky so run away from me or see me in the middle of my insanity

my mind is screaming as loud as thunder cracking throughout the sky as i lay i my bed wishing to die no matter how many times I pray i wish i cry no matter how many cuts their are on my wrist my mind still screams at me from across the room its funny all the voices in my ****** up head it feels like their is thousands of eyes staring at me when I'm the only one in the room i can feel it the end my doom.

is it because i can write and because i never give in until i win is it because   i fight until theirs nothing left of me until i can't breath or is it because I speak my mind all the time i don't beat around the bush or because i hate the way i am or because I'm loud and I'm insane i can hear the voices screaming but i choose to ignore them and live another day what else do you want me to say i got nothing else to say today anyways

Twitching like a fein
Scratching repeatedly
I can feel my blood itching
I need another fix
Got to feed this habit, my need
My addiction
I've tried to become clean
But the rush
The adrenalin it gives me
I can't stay away I like the feeling
So I keep coming back for more
Didn't know I could get hooked
If it ever went away
I'd follow it like a lost puppy
There's no way I'd last a day
As I take another hit from this addiction
I stop an look at the sky
And there it is her face
My addiction
The affect of her is already kicking in

its a new year but I'm still the same i will never change from the monster i am I'm sick mentally if i would die i would die with no soul so probably would burn they say death will take you to a better place but i don't believe it because I'm already dead and i still don't feel no love what am i suppose to do pray to a god who never answers me back well the only comfort i have is from my blade and sleeping away the pain I'm only sane in my dreams.