No poems today - no more thinking about what he said
or what he meant
I thought this was over - but ah, the little threats!
I'll dive into the waters, take a dip into what matters
Dissolve my shattered

That fear eating up my guts
stripping it from its bright stars
Making me gasp, for nothing at all
Making me doubt, making me fall
That thing that you don't care 'bout me
that fear that other side I don't want to see
That feeling in the chest - so bleak, so bleak
That high spirit that leads you to misery

Girl just remember
You catch a glimpse - mark your mistake
it has to catch you, not the other way
Magic will save you, this laid back rhythm you learnt
Do not drop your man, but never drop the pen.

Girl just remember
you two have come really far
Do not overthink it much;
because overthinkers do not know the names of stars.

You thrash and lash at us
You speak ill oh you criticize
But in the end of the day
you need us there

Hey big boss girl at Burger King
You think I barely can speak!
You haven't seen me, at all
All the fire cast inside, 1993 born
I'll blow your head off!
Dear I've seen your ilk
it's the whole world's no ****
You think I can't do anything
while you rocking your Green Day tee
paying homage to those who dream
because we all are of that sick race
because between me and you there's a link

I will chew you all and spit you out.
I will win the war, no doubt.
You will never shut me up - it will be me
the one who decides - later I will scream
I've got big dreams, and I can't breathe.
I've got big dreams - scratch underneath
Waiting is tough - living through all this:
this anxious growing longing for it
this unmet whimsical deep misunderstood need
Scratch underneath - all I want is to be free
Big dreams - they get the best of me
Big dreams - they're everything

when you arrive home, you seek our comfort
when you're torn, it's us you will look for
we are all survivors, I am no less.
we are the ones who keep your heart on place
we are the ones who save you in the end
even if the ones who got lost were only ourselves

your love, your love
always fills me
and that's why it has so much potential
to **** me

I cannot go without you
you're part of my core
but you pierce me,
just because
I love you so

I have to live with this
this double edged sword
this almighty love
that takes me to heaven
and makes me ache in turn

Writing a poem to you feels old
because once upon a time
you became my ideal world

You never understood me;
and that's the fun of it
I never fully grasped you;
and that's the magic you did

Your clean-cut world
No wonder, watched over by God!
A dream not your own
Throat about to collapse, to choke

You are my contrary
yet you are so appealing
because you don't contain crowds like me
with all of its restlessness
all of its fits, its bursting glee

Yet you have secrets;
I'm pretty sure you *******
when you think about Pitbull
or your boyfriend
and if you don't, then I don't know

Church going gal
Laughter and a bright smile
So intoxicating
So dangerous – only sometimes.

K Girl was ditzy and dumb
but that's all her charm!
No dumbness in happiness
Vitality flowing every place

K speaking too much
K in love with Ben
(I never forget those things, girl)
Your happiness is glossy and pink
Like your lipstick cheap

K forgot her friends
because she fell in love
and when they broke up
she drowned in a sea of tarot cards
and I was there, watching her twilight
her writhing to the bright

K, who knows of secrets
never spoken
she can't believe I am that broken
Bumble hustling all over!
lass, you'd be surprised
if you knew the hell I underwent
right since we met

Cynthia is watching me in the eye
Does she know about the void inside?
I don't know anything else, but
feeling this unnameable take place

Does she ache the way I do?
Or is she just clairvoyant, in her silence cool?
She's a mystery wrapped in a girl, barely talks
I need salvation, so everyone looks like God
Specially those who don't know me at all

Does she know how I look into Gotye's eyes?
Does she know about the emptiness all the time?
About how destructive this fake laughter is?
I try to belong, I try to be
but I'm trapped in between
and this I can't catch, this I can't grasp!

Is she a part of the pattern, the plot?
I will never know!
I am, for sure!

I loved you! Oh, I never said so
because it wouldn't be true

The words lingered in my lips
plastic and eager to exist
because they were not real

I said, "let's love this one"
to get away from my own heart
but that's emotional suicide
just with more casualties beside

Those dim nights I loved you,
but only as much as I could

Take out that one - she's a bore
she's a beast hiding in mother's words
I never needed her, not anymore
She gives pain to those I love
She's misbegotten - she has squinty eyes
but claims to see for miles

That girl ain't me
So I have to kick her out
She messes with my fun
She breaks my heart by sparing me hurt
**** her - I'm done with her stuff

Now you step into shaky, feared land
I tell you: do it, and do it at once
The good adjusted adults tremble in fear
but you should rejoice with this
Get confused, rave, get lost in the maze
of the world
because the world is not a jail
the world is all we have got
Never grow up!

get drunk with the lesbians
be your class reject of choice
outrage parents with a single look
leave your heart in everything you do
be a puzzle to everyone but you

I should not tell you to do all of this
I am the unlikely mom: I don't want you to behave
I just want you to get your way,
I just want you to smile, **** what the world
has to say

They'll try to keep you away, lead you astray
all because they love you to death
and it's true, but it's a peril too
when love keeps you away from you
So love, love, love till your heart cracks
even if they call it awful names and words;
Love, love, love the world is the law.
And your heart won't crack,
because it grows stronger with every move and touch

be a vessel of vitality
be a vessel of your own cause
just mess with it all!

Moody girl,
worries too much
machete in hand
through the mental mush!
a tangle of fears and doubts

"it's not out of nowhere;
it's all out of my own head"

But you love me either way
so I have nothing left to say
I am as lucky as I am moody

Her brain throws darts,
that get stuck in her heart.
She cries, she cries, she cries,
and next minute, she smiles

Moody girl
I know I am crazy but
that was a liberating fact

But you love me either way
so there's nothing left to say
If we love each other, nothing else matters
Take your moody girl home - shake her sulk off
Give her some love - she gives you her whole

Pain must be spoken
else you'll be broken
and you won't even notice
I can't speak out
it hurts too much

But I gotta overcome
The wound is there nevertheless
My screaming won't solve anything
but it will relieve this stress

The wound is there nevertheless
it just grows and grows and I look somewhere else
it's a good strategy, but you are still there
what's squeezing me so tight? I am out of breath!

Alice show me the way
the way to my own pain
so I can kick it out at once
You show me through my eyes
what I knew all the time

You make me sick! You make me feel all wrong!
I run away from pain, because pain is all I know
I oscillate between pure joy and hope
and sheer despair and ache in my heart

this eternal mismatch
i can't let myself be killed
but something's doing it
I don't care; I still moan in the in betweens

You never understood a thing! But Alice does!
Alice, have you thought of the damaged teens?
I did

I met him when lost
and tell me, who is not?
these days I had to build a world...
but I lacked the pulse
nevertheless, I started to walk
and it's fruit now, the seed I laid
when I was halfway there
I've been lost for years
and I was wandering
being lonely, pseudo-wild and free

And I remember
all the things we said
two freaks become friends...
he's a polyglot closeted gay
she's a ******* mess
waiting to hatch the egg
but
the bond that we made
got broken as soon as I break
was it real? in a way it was
for nothing is true or false

The demons assailed me
that's why I ran away
that's why I cried my guts out
and drowned in a sick hug

I wish we could meet at the gates
So we could join back
and talk heart to heart
trying not to look back to the past
but rather saying, hey, we made it this far
and now we can look at each other's face
and laugh at all the **** we've been

Bite the hand as soon as you can!
Do not let anything hold you down
Bite the hand feeding you lies
the hand that caressed you when you were a child
but turned oppressive when you grew up
and you became conscious of what the world is like

Do not stay thankful, unable to open your eyes
Bite the hand and join me in the bad daughter band
Bite the hand and be not a respectful one
The heart speaks; it sees for miles
Bite the hand that feeds you psychic death
Be not sorry; we all thrive to be alive

Because dying your hair on Monday morning is good, but
we could have been friends but you didn't want to
Bite the hand, do not hurt sadistically with your sharp teeth
but run away, steadily and clear

The happiness preceeding the rain
A rain that does not wash but rather creates pain
The happiness opening my eyes to the fact - I care
I don't mind, better to live than to merely exist

The news is a mess
I am afraid we will be next

I trust you, and I trust us
but the fear freezes my bones
only sometimes

How the world turned a nightmare - no one knows
but I'll clutch to us, just in case it stops

You don't understand
you're full of privilege
and that's what happens with privilege:
one can't even fathom to see
what your fellows do miss

I write here
like I was 15
again
but never again, now I can see,
now I can move, now I can shout
and you're spilling **** through your mouth
and I am silent, can't wait to leave the room at once

mom,
i heard you say "i don't miss anyone"
and that's the big divide
you're having it easy, I'm breaking down

You never dared looked me in the eye
until the doctor told you to do it for my life
and I guess that's the measure of your love
and the measure of your confusion when it comes
to my heart
and still you refuse my tears and my smiles
and it hurts, the divide gets bigger every day
we can't stop it even if it aches
but it feels like divine design, in a sense
and the despondency, then, aminorates

let's survive together
can we? I am not sure
we are not fighting the same at all
but let's respect each other's weight
if it can't be shared

Watch her down the stairs!
Losing herself, no kind of self-respect
no self-love, just a bunch of nerves
raging and breaking down
and no one's there to pick her up

Watch her hugging strangers
that only give her nausea and pain
watch her frantically trying
to escape

Watch her wait, watch her break
and sew her organs at the same pace
watch her ****** arms
watch her tears and the void inside

Watch her existing, not blooming anymore
she didn't choose the road, the road chose
"not blooming anymore?" Oh God
she rose from the dead back in time
can she do it twice?

Is she rotting, is she?
She feels like she's dying at such a speed
Fear freeze, fear freeze
How to survive in the belly of the beast?
That madwoman I've been and never been
is here again, I must watch her do her thing

and you ask why
this is why!
the walls I erected
were to stay protected

I cannot let you
touch my soul
it seems stupid
but I know

it's a move I don't know where I learnt
the reflex of saving yourself, I guess
the soul wants to exist, nonetheless
and you stand in its way
(no bitterness)

just a realization
of why things are what they are
if we abide, we will survive
lots of bureaucracy and diplomacy
to stay alive
you call me many things,
but you are so ******* blind

I cannot let you win
you say it's not war but for me,
within,
it is

We might love each other
but it's better to stay away
hell ensues, if we dare not to behave
stay away, for peace's sake
stay away, to carry on every day

because
I cannot let you
feel my soul
it seems avoidant
but I know

I have to call my therapist
the only thing keeping me up - this

I think I need the sick spot
the endless gut spilling
it's too much for God's sake
Give myself some rest
Pills, tourniquet, sewing,
creating
healing

I think I need the sick spot
to never go sick again
a little detour to never stray

I have to call her next morning
I might do it or not, but keeps me floating
I am halfway to hell and halfway to bliss
And in the middle, this.

Like I was again dreaming of
that airport where I got lost
I am not anxiously roaming,
because I've got a note
next appointment with her

Clutching my sheets tightly
but so relaxing
Talking to him, calmly
thinking that I have to call you
next morning

Emotional coming out
I did a lot this year so far
Alex says it's all growth
This arc for my role
could not have been foretold

Every day closer to the flame
Getting burnt for fun
My heart? It lies in my mouth
So I spit sweet blood
It's a blessing and a curse
specially behind closed doors
that allowed me to go far

The first time I lost my mind
the first time I did something alone
was because I had no one!
Toxic knots that I weaved on my own...
Collective opus - these toxic knots

Is my destiny to break down in pieces?
No, but I live for bleeding
It's such a thick wall to keep on living
You helped me become myself
but every sweet bite from the cake
I earned
I have a lot of thankfulness, even love for you,
but no connection that's true

I am a tortured artist! I am everything you hate!
You are everything standing in my way!
Yet...
We untie these toxic knots with everyday's deeds
so let's keep rolling like the sea

Let me be! Let me be!

Don't hurt yourself
I am hurting myself
I wasn't even aware
But the damage is done

Negatives of an old life
that wasn't a life at all
but the embryo and the egg
from which everything stems

I need you **** I do
but I lash at myself
and I hurt myself because
I think of you

This is hell
I've been through this
be patient
light wins

I need to snap out
this is not real
this is the devil
absorbing me

But how to snap out
that's where I am now
I need you, oh I do
can you love me
being this wretch
being this supernova
being this mess

Life is a battlefield
so dance! in the sweet intervals

I feel like I could not write
it ***** up my mind
what is it I am so afraid of
perfection, happiness, for once?

I feel unstuck
and that's good, that's great!
if you touch things, they'll turn to ****
not to gold, hey

that deep need to tell
crosses with my need to live
my need to meet God
to do versus to speak
I don't think they are so apart, you see

I will venture deep into my brain
with one hand outside the hole
to climb back
so I don't lose my soul

Irony everywhere
it's the key to success

Love is a threat
love is a danger fix
scary to be in
scarier to never be

this is right!
this is nice!
but I'll see further
for love is wide

don't forget heaven
but stay in tune
for those divine waves
in the sun and the gloom

I see it wide
can't hide!
what am I to do
I am not by his side
and there's so much time

those twisted corridors
of the mind
they are real and
they are lies
learn their swing
learn to dance!

if I crumble, I will crumble with you
love in extremis, we will rise again together
(and who knows if it will be better)
death, death after life
the wheel of the year, the joke on us

strength and weakness
health and illness
the witches, the witches!
live inside of your chest
like hags clawing at what you love best

Unmagic it all so it can be magic again
Unmagic it all so it can be magic again
Reorganize, ******* clean up your brain!
-do nothing instead-
my incantation to myself
Magic never dies, but it resists
any attempt to be sacralized
because the eternal is not holy
it just IS
so swallow your words and your act
swallow all your quest
swallow all that ****

I am not coming "and I might be dying"
but I will leave indeed some writing

I am dying
listening to La Zowi
I am eating myself up
I can't bear up that fate again,
no, God!

I can't live without love no more
Without that holy shaking no more
I don't want to live away from God no more!

Obsessed little ****
because I never knew you much!

**** your god if he tells you "no"
so angry because I can't come!

I am speechless
like one is when dying
I am motionless, I am rotting
all of a sudden, couldn't see it coming

I am empty and filled with noises
I am yearning for something
which hasn't escaped so long ago
how can I catch it, and have it once more?
Listen to your words, teacher,
like pagan scripture
ah, are you that somebody?
I am that somebody.

That old love
which you called love
which was nothing but
loneliness and hunger
for a body close

He filled nothing
but the void in your guts
which was so profound
you could not even tell
you were inside

That sunrise
in the twilight
That hint of nothing
which spawns something

Reorganize your brain
or at least
don't let the cobwebs
take place

And when you woke up
it was gone, as a dream it was
but it lingers in the day
as a shadow
of what could have been
it speaks volumes
in a language that can't be read

the beauty of arriving there
of the lingering beat!
a stream down my legs
I am waiting for you, dear
(you are not dying
you will be ******* reborn
you do it every morning
with the rising Sun
embrace the joke)

I am not creating and I am not coming

What's this ****?
It makes me cry, bury my head in your chest
in desires that never come anywhere
Oh, dear,
if I could make myself shake again

I am so afraid

Your closeness changes everything
but my stress
(it unleashes these fears
makes me feel that current
head to feet)
but all those images in my head
falling prey

And I can catch it for a sec
Be my teacher, I'll listen to your words
like pagan scripture
(best scripture)
Can you hold me, through this pain?
Can you take me, high again?

The past is always a ******* dark dart
I can't let it come back

I love you so much
but it feels incomplete
do I have to go through this?
a hole pouring down my heart
Emo imagery - don't dare put down

it is close, it is close!
just close your eyes
and when you arrive
you'll know, you know
(you know the road,
you know the pace leading to the door)

Sitting in my room.
Wondering about God.
Watching the bomb tick away.
To something I don't know.

You are all stupid, you all are useless.
Seeking light, then ending in your mind's dull jam,
your septic-clean sty.
You all are closing yourself to the World
None of you I will befriend - Satan or God
I will hold his hand.
I will go on living till I die.
And only then, I will close my eyes.
My life - a testament to revise
if I have to say my last goodbye...

"I saved myself". I did, but I could have never done it, without It
And the time I spend thinking about it, the further I lie from It
My mind crafts this -
I need to befriend it, whoever it is
In the face of fear, we start worshipping odd things
Life is the supreme
Life does always win, if you let it trespass your door
and fill your heart
Death is a tragedy. To whom does it belong?
Satan or God - you are not what I was told

Make-believe beauty - for bad times
the madwoman is not the mad one
Is it creation - or is it just *****? Sacred ***** then

I am a madwoman and this room is my attic.
I couldn't come last night - so I am crying
I will hold his hand, and His too
or Hers, for the universe lies in me too.

I ain't been listening to Bikini ****
in my bedroom for nothing!
Because, you know - you are not winning
This time, I am not the girl I used to be
You'll have to seek me if you want to fight me
Because I won't be there
I will be gone away - and I will be present
as I've never been

This is for the *******
for the demons
This is for the bad fathers
This is for the misfits out there
This is for us, you know who you are

This is for myself
do not forget what makes you shake
This is for myself
Girl hold on some days more
and you'll have it again...

Lonely masturbations and late night cries
It never stops - the joke is alive
and so is the laughter inside

The siege state ends
and when we rise from our graves...
we will lose our minds
if we haven't before
are you strong?

I am drifting away
losing all of my sense

Siege state for the soul
Can you spare me some

I thought I could laugh
but the enemy lives within
siege state covering everything

No virus like your own
Hold on, hold on, hold on
I am surviving right now
But I will come back
(you should do as I)

Everything is alive
because fire, simply, does not die
and if you are crying tonight
your life won't fade away like that
hark! it will pass.

I know heaven
because I dared to touch
the ground
My truths are warped
but they are my own

I like the Hangman so
because he sums everything I know

I know light
because I drowned
in the dark

The days I was lost
were key
to finding myself

And I know health is a lie
and I know illness so right
and I know right and wrong
lie so close and it feels so nice

I know what I know
and I do what I can with it
I tried not hard to grasp
it simply came along my path

Do not fall into mama's lap
Bite the hand as soon as you can
At least, don't cut your limbs to merely exist
Confront, explore, resist.

Do not take my word
because I'm only deeply hurt
that's what I try to get across
that you should hit the road
as soon as you can walk

Do not follow my dreary path
that only lately I could patch up
stay away from those holy demons
which are nothing but a Sunday evening
watching TV movies unaware you're rotting
unaware you're drowning
gagged - choking on homeostasis and noise
dying - because you survived

That girl clogged with life...
She's choking, it shows
But she's got a promise
She doesn't know
but she's not alone

You were able to see when I was blind
and forever I am thankful to God
You knock somehow deep into my soul now

Maybe it was visible in between the cracks
maybe I was broken but some light
seeped out
my resistance
burning down

And now you tell me this and I am surprised
that someone saw past my antics
(I will always be crazy, that's my gift
but I can find ways to be crazy
which are truly me, ways that fulfill -
the blessed crazy marching towards the Sun!)
and my sickly side -who took control,
for years, I drowned, I drowned-
but there was a time
when it wasn't like this
it was in future
thank God I didn't get to die at 13

These poems mean nothing at all
I need to hold it in my palm
I ran away for years
but now I want to touch and be touched in turn

I am a late bloomer
So try to understand me
Don't condescend: I am fully grown
but there's a reason for my being slow

I drowned my head below the water
And I lost touch with the surface
Getting away from reality? Nah, I was having nightmares
I was clinging to my own ruins, my own distorted answers
I slept for years, I closed the window of my dreams
Said, "I'll obey, I will stop being"
Said nothing, I could not speak

And I find myself at 26
living so quick
-but life has no notion of this,
life simply is-
don't blame me,
I used to be in a coma
deep anguishing godful nights
I did wrong trying to do right

I am a late bloomer
but I was too big to bloom in the spring
Was I a too majestic flower to be
(I don't think so, unless majestic
equals weird)
Was I simply crumbling from stiff
Was I simply a woman, with the mind of a kid?

I am a late bloomer
but who gives a ****
not me, I am too busy
doing all I did not
doing all I never thought

Where on Earth do I belong
or is it outer space
I am not Lauren Tate
I am not like anyone I met
But there must be a place
Or is outer space?
All weirdos belong somewhere
And it is not the loony bin
or your room locked for days

Mother do you see me
do you perceive only a tiny bit
Do you see me come alive
with my pens and when I write
Do you finally accept
what you sired back then?

Etsy freak
Courtney Love wannabe
Look at that ****** *****!
They will scream such things
I might be a narcissist
-never mind, I am an artist-
But can I light up the way
of those who cry like once I did?
Is it my calling? Is it my fall?
What do I do with this rush?
I know the answer - keep on riding
keep on living, write it out
paint it up
**** hard

Shaking and certainly not well
on my way to being a good girl
Where on earth
are the stairs to my place?

I want this, I really do
but I cannot swallow the stream of grey
and feel it's good

I can do, but not what they want me to!

Because I can't help being who I am
It's my curse and my blessing
It's what I was running away from,
what I was chasing

It's not laziness
It's not lack of whatever
It's the consciousness that
I have alien brothers

We communicate from afar
Alienated and found,
connoisseurs of what lies
further than your 9 to 5
(specially when you swallow
that ******* line till it ***** you dry.
I could change, but I could die)
We live in the other side
But not so far gone
Health is a lie, when using your words

We are the freaks
I am the freak
I will fit your lines
but be careful
I will slash them when they are mine!
I am a trojan in your house
because you will be my death if I don't rush

"The paranoid cannot love"
I saw that answer about the world
So true it hurts

The paranoid cannot love
Because to love is really to trust
No love in those stunted hearts
Questioning what, when and why
instead
Seize the untouchable with your hands!
Do not grab with avarice!
Just with endless delight...

Paranoia rips you and the rest
Makes a death eater out of you
Swallowing all the light, creating distress
A lifetime of suspicion and pain
A lifetime, wasted away
(She exists but she cannot rule the scene)

I won't join that club, because I know better
To forget, to forget - to trust, forever
Not closed to love
Not closed to life, at all.

Health is a lie
You have to learn to look in the eyes
Health is a state
you can't always attain

Health flees and stays
you can't summon her
she summons you instead

Some call her health,
some call her happiness
different names
same thing in the end

(She said take your brains out
you don't need them to do good
drown in my sugar darkness
humid and fruitful)

I've changed so much
I just can't go back there

There is something I can't catch
why?

Dare to trespass the limits
to get somewhere other

I have to trace the lines
to know where this mess began
Pick up the threads, knots to untie

Learn to look at things the way they are
that's the only way out
No glitter rays, but no grim days
Just godly ways

Why did it look so good
why it's turning a nightmare
will you hold my hand dear
walk with me through hell

Show me the other side
please goddess please

Everything got muddled
everyday more and more
how to stop
Break the cycle, end up the war

Oh, don't get any mistaken with me
I am just a neurotic *****
obsessed with *** and ****
Every little pain just adds to the stake

And if it breaks, because I won't
We'll throw a party, all giddy up
(I am afraid as ****)

Running wild around the airport at 6 o'clock
Dad drove me here and he hasn't asked a thing
about who I **** or who I kiss
this is -definitely- God's gift!

He has wrote me as well
do you want someone to take you there
his kiss feels sweet in my thoughts
but to him I don't belong

Look at this string of songs
to heaven, back, and below
All your hopes, all your dreams crushed
Springing blooming despite it all

Drawing doodling thinking writing in the plane
in this glittery notebook containing my brains
about how so good does me so wrong
About unwanted pregnancies and spiralling out of control
But I can put it away, for once
(because no one's taking away my fun)

And I have two men so
I can't decide in this mess
so I am hitching a ride
I am getting away
from my life
so it can ring back
from afar

And in Camden Town I come alive
I do fit in this place, like Amy did in time
-Amy I can't feel your tears now,
I am so high, so high can't come down-

British breakfast, with hash browns
Bumbling around and secrets unveiled abound
Buying stuff we don't need but sure we want
This is it, I don't need more

And those small moments make up the whole
London bridge is good but not as much
as my friend's voices and anecdotes
as my short skirt and my passing thoughts
London, I will never forget
how you came and what you were
I need to get back there - with my new bag
full of ****** and no regrets
I wanted to get away, and I did
sweet coming back after the retirement
sweet, sweet everything

To be rootless
to be boundless
to be free
to have no rules or regulations
no affiliations, no thing

And seek everything in any way you can
To spin the roots of your own
every time

I became rootless once
I severed the roots with a knife
It hurt, it hurt,
it wasn't real, though
(Because I wasn't rootless. I simply had been
amputated, and things still were,
so I could miss,
and I was head deep in ****)

When did people ever
do a thing for you?
They just speak and *****
and make you feel sick
They don't really deserve to be killed
or slit
just go rootless
let them exist

Am I talking about chains
am I talking about roots
hard to tell
between them two

There is a wall between me and them
but I don't give a ****
There is no communication anymore
between the straight world and I

Some roots they do squeeze your lungs
Some roots so strong you cannot move
I severed them; they severed themselves
I am rootless; but I am fed everyday

and
I've never been so happy.
I've never been so fruitful.
Rootless plant can fly
Removing the superfluous branch
to go deeper underground

My poems are witchcraft to my brain
I do sorcery with anything
But today, it seems to slip
I am away, away from me

"I am stuck"
Remember the last time you said that?
You drowned deep down in your mind
I am missing the sap
I am missing something, I fear so much

Maybe the solution is simply to let go
This little inconvenience to hold.
World is what you make of it.
Don't make a fuss.

I'm inside out
And everything is haunted now

Those little obsessions
that I will never leave
they will leave me
why can't that be?
It is once, but today the rain
clouds the Sun

Look at me in the eye
The answer somewhere lies
You will find, you will find,
rest assured, you troubled lass.
Do not worry about the bottom of life!
There is no light -
(Save your words, they hold none)

Where does this **** go?

"Oh, this ****
I gotta analyze this.
Because indeed something makes me nervous,
therefore I can't come"

But I did,
I saw your ****,
I saw your face,
and I did.
Paradise comes quicker.
I wanted you,
but your thought did not want me.

Is today a good day
for barren knowledge?
Barren day

This is not real
this is not the place to be
I have cut my limbs

Am I passing to the other side
which side this time
Information coming from all sides
"This is my strength, this is my fall"

I just want to die and cry

Ahhh...you people...(me therefore)

There is nothing
***
cannot fetch for me!

I open my eyes
I touch God
I see stars
I see the dark
everything fits
I shake
at your touch

Like a gulp of loaded water
Like a violent flash
Restoring the chaos
in my heart
Everything in place
supernovas - through the maze

It's your love
It's the power I've got
It's the world
channeled below

2020 please give me what I want!
or something better, if not

2020 please fetch me some love!
I am the source, I am the source

2020 you are pregnant with hope
fearful to see you unfold
waiting to see you grow

surprises in store for me
and everyone around

2020 you are nothing
life carries on and I keep dancing
2020 please God
give me a world of ****** and love

Everything was set for you
to arrive
Here
You have all it takes
To arrive
There

(who knows how far?
no limits for you now)

The sweet irony,
The irony of fate
Paths and miles unknown
the irony never stops
You were not sure at all
you'd be here
But here you are, smiling big
drying your tears
everything is everything
you got this

Everything leading to this
magical moment of seeing

(God please give me a world of
******* and love)
Everything happened in order
to free your soul
I am a work in progress; but I am doing good.
Everything needed - to reach this particular spot

Explanations are poor
they lead nowhere good
just follow the trail of water
open your eyes to its power

The solution is halfway
till you can make it
The solution you won't be told
but it will appear on its own

"Rage, rage against the dying of the light!"
The twilight, preceeds the bright

Harrowing!
The future looks harrowing!
But it shines so bright
A flame I cannot avoid to touch.
Will I get burnt?
Who knows!

Harrowing, uncertain but you will be there
In my thoughts and my bed...
Harrowing but I can pull a trick here
and survive my own ****
Harrowing but nothing short of fantastic
A ride not to forget, and you can get off
anytime you feel like
I trust this fullness in my chest
I trust whatever it takes
I trust, because I've already known the worst
and it's looking ******* up

The future looks harrowing so
the future looks unknown
can we go together, face the monsters
we'll encounter for sure?

2020 - but first let's say
I could not imagine I would end
the year in your bed again
So sweet, so sweet, so sweet
Then why I choke like this?

"If you play me wrong I'll leave
but first I gotta jump, taste your lips
once again
before we fade"
(I don't think we will)

I saw it clear
as clear as your kiss
Hours before
I was thriving on your love

Energies - can you feel them
maybe they're the secret
to what's binding us
We are untying from our loads
My hands, can you hold?
Can you give me your all?
I feel so full
Burn the leaflets! Burn the fears!
Let's subdue to this nameless blessed thrill!
That fills me from head to toe...

Our love is plastic
he won't go far
but so far
let's have fun

It goes nowhere
but what am I supposed to do?
I am confused, but today -and now-
(I think) I feel good
He grinds against me and
the lights are dim
and the reggaeton beat
and his lips...biting me

Smells like cheating
Smells like lack of clarity
Smells like danger
Sounds like a party banger

He is like smoke
getting in my lungs
he will be gone
but so far let's have fun

And this is a kind of beauty
ephemeral
but not true
not real
wake me up from this dream
please
I like it, but it feels stolen
not my own

Now you are away
I can write you down
I don't want to ******* now
but it's flattering
you want me so much

Silence, you won't hold me hostage
again
I'd rather burn the house and scream
to avoid the pain
than stay in the sidelines and wither
slowly
with my doubts and my words
making me choke

I will ask and beg for what I want
This is my new attitude towards the world
Silence won't cut my throat
with her sly knife anymore
Before you speak, think
that's not advice, it's just ****!

Because silence won't save you, at all
Silence will simply keep the dogs at bay
while the bomb ticks away
Silence is razors at 16 years old
Silence is slow death
Silence is...an emptied space
a form of decay

Silence - you are not the way
I have known you for long
so I know
Silence - you might win the battle
but not the war!