How come all the websites say that people cut themselfs because they are angry or its the only thing they can control in life? Because some people do it because they need to be punished. They need to feel the blade because they know they are dirt and their mistakes are to big to forgive.

I want to make love with you
wildly, savagely, viciously
insatiable need crowds out all thought
except for how you feel to me
it's more than lustful carnal craving
raw passions threaten to explode
we're one, together in that moment
senses burning, overload
hearts pounding, muscles shaking
salty sweat, bodies aching
driven into breathless frenzy
release, that moment stopped in time
once more, to feel that you are mine

I fight sleep tonight.

I imagine

What it would feel like

To curve into you.

To feel you press against me

And into me

And through me.

I think it would be like

Jumping off a bridge.

Pain is in the plan

But so is the water

And it's warm

And worth the sting.

I dream of being under darkness with you.

Eyes that flutter open

And brush your cheeks.

Kissing your skin goodnight.

Professing desire to your face.

To your eyes specifically.

Your eyes.

Something I am too selfish to describe.

I trace them every night

On the backs of my eyelids.

So I never forget the way they fall on me.

I imagine you in my dreams tonight

And sleep comes like a gun.

Life floats

     and Love flies

Between the uninhabited spaces



An empty cellar

Protected by an old wooden                  

       door



Dust-- I smell lighting

       in the air



        Return to me

        Return with your

        shining eyes and your

        empty head



Another love flashes by in

the narrow sunbeam

      and now it seems

      I've spent an eternity

      searching

                      for that spark



      An eternity

          in Love

Sometimes, it seems that everything
my heart keeps as truth
I take with me
and lock deep inside of I am sorry
as I breathe the air twisted in the places
where I sleep.  
Yet, there still exist nights
where there is no bed I can dream in
where I do not hear a melody
that feels naturally sweet.

Often,  I stand in the corner
of all I have missed
then find myself walking proudly
beside the wildest loneliness
lying deep inside of
my stubborn heart.  
Then suddenly,
my head clears inside of a silence
and I write poems
from the hands of angels
until the wildest loneliness
has to part.

Let's all get together
for a rousing game of "have you ever"

Have you ever felt so low
that nothing was real?

Have you ever wanted to paint a canvas of skin and veins
Only to regret it every day?

Have you ever wanted to run away from every pain
And live your days in another place?
Have you ever been told no?

Have you ever been afraid to disappoint;
Afraid you couldn't work your own voice?

Have you ever wondered what it's like on the other side?
I wonder if it's really a heaven in the sky?
Maybe it's nothing and you really do just die.

Have you ever felt so buried under stress
that you couldn't even get dressed?

Have you ever wanted to down a bottle
And feel powered, full-throttle?

Have you ever hoped to bleed dry
So you could be light enough to fly?

Have you ever dreamed of bleeding skin
then woke up, wishing it had happened?

Have you ever loved the pain of an open sore
So much so that you made some more?

Have you ever loved someone so much so
that you didn't even care where your own life would go?

I have.

All these things.

I can't talk anymore.

My heart is throbbing.

Every once in a while,
I'd just like some one to smile
and ask if I'm okay.

Every once in a while
I'd just like someone to smile
and kiss my scars goodnight.

Every once in a while
I'd just like someone to smile
and hold me in the coldest nights.

Every once in a while
I'd just like you to smile
and tell me you love me
and that our world together
will never end
as long as we're alive.