full to bursting —
all I want, and just as quick
as can receive it.
...and truly, can’t conceive of
but believe you-me it’s real,
life of late a lucid dream: all
déjà vu and vivid greens of
lush and sparkling everything,
there is a future slate so clean atop of
fossils pressed between,
and other treasures altogether
measure depths of dated things.
millennia many,
lifetimes aplenty
I’m blundering nirvana-toward.
transforming and crushed
back to life, back to dust
one thing’s certain:
I’ve never been bored.
full disclosure:
the original journal entry starts
“I wish I could shake the dread
& just feel lucky
I am so lucky
I’m getting everything I want
as quickly as I can
possibly receive it
hands full”
...I was not getting what I wanted.
but some of those things can still be true.