I kissed you;
I mean kissed you.

and the rain between the buildings
loudly lauded with applause.

it’s all static if I can’t hear you.
all the same volume, meaningless

I am looking all over to grasp you,
— tell the others I found you

my only-ever prayer
to you, I love
forever.
(amen)

I had a dream about you,
so intense it had a score.

hours and hours on end
building and blending
and smiling at me
and for once,
I know how it ended.

there’s a half-life to our interacting.
and I am a scientist, scrutinizing it.

a certain proximity, and I
am irradiated, by you, anew,
every time.

I am burned up.
frayed,
and right here, on display.
taking diligent notes on the fallout
today, in this wasteland.


I search the ground
with my hand and
an eyeglass.



I shouldn’t like what I find.

oh, it’s starting
oh it’s starting.
Oh it’s starting
Oh it’s starting!
Oh, it’s over
Oh it’s over
oh it’s over
oh it’s over

•
•

it is good that i was lying next to you
as you sounded your alarm.
quick and shallow hiccups
tiny gasping
shook the bed.
i swatted you
— 2:30 am


even more alarming when it stopped,
i crashed to life
half up-above you.

a nightmarish apparition of myself
a screeching, darkening
premonition of death.


your eyes rolled
your head
heavy ragdoll
I begged you
to wake up;
struck you,
screamed your name

and I focused intently
as, vivid surreal,
the reds and the blues,
streams and islets,
turned up violets
at some deltas
of the reds and the blues
of your face
and so i never even felt for your heartbeat.


much like in throes of passion,
the attempts to force
any inspiration
were my frantic lips
still breathing your name
against yours
cool, moist, and soft,
yet, this time,
unreceptive
to my pleading.
and i heard my disembodied voice
somewhere inside my hollow head
call help


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