self pity
should I let you in
self pity
perhaps today I deserve you
wasn't today hard enough?
can't I wallow in sadness
and beg my friends for attention?

self pity
for now I'll keep you on arm-lenght
because I want you
but I like you
a little too much

I'll sleep
trough your day
and you'll wake
in my night

Our words are
long distance
they travel
so fast

We talk
about hugging
but it's unlikely
we'll ever touch

Dear stranger
I just met you
so why do you feel
like a friend?

Dear stranger
I love you
this should
never end

Still, there are days
all the Andrea Gibson poems remind me of you
you were the one who made me love them
at first only because I loved you

I was never good enough for you
an everlasting dissapointment in the corners of your life
A needy friend, never offering you support herself
while we all knew your life was harder

I was jealous of everyone who read your blog
and of every personal message on twitter (I only joined twiiter because you asked me too)
And lousy friend or not, you were always on my mind
I begged the world on a daily base to treat you better

But had no idea how to do that myself
I was so young, back then, and you so filled with wisdom
you taught me how to be myself, even when you weren't you yet

Years later,
you're still the person I loved the most
and I'd still die for you if you'd ask me
but we haven't been in touch for years
and your life went in all kind of directions I  could never go

Years later,
I still love you
and a big part of me knows
I always will



You're still with me every now and then
walking trough my head to remind me
of all our hour long conversations
I'm still convinced I was a fool for hurting you
and it's still too bad you're out my life

Your picture, in my wallet
8 years ago, you look so innocent
so different from how I remember you
but so peaceful I want to ask you to protect you

I often dream of meeting you again
But it wouldn't happen - you live in Sweden now
and it wouldn't work - I am no where near awesome enough for you

You and I became ancient history
but I'll be always greatful
for that day in the zoo, where we met.

You were born to dance
run free in the wind
don't tie yourself
you shouldn't get stuck in one place

This kite
is not a dancer
it barely noticed the wind
for many many years

The kite is stuck
******* on a lamp post
cold and lonely
but scared to let go

Kite, cut yourself free
let the next breeze
lift you high
and let you be you

I want to love you like
you
loves cigarettes

Whatever they give you
you mix it with the air
you're sending down to your longs
you must at least suspect they're poisonous
that doesn't seem to matter
they're going right into
your mouth

and that
is how much
I want to love
you

Fill your heart with black and white
It's looks
sophisticated
like you're a grown up

stay clear of grey
that would suggest you
are trying to change yourself

forget bright lights
ever existed
and keep the colours from your mind

It's both too early
and
too late

but you didn't tell me
anything

left me to guess
is your history a landmine?
Did the world hurt you just as bad
as it hurted me?

You didn't say

All you said was
it's both early and late

and kept the rest
a mystery