I lose myself when I walk away from you.

I know.
I'm not supposed to.

I'm meant to be strong and sure.
I'm meant to be brave.
I'm meant to be independent.

And I am.

It's just so much easier with you there.
Right beside me.
Holding my hand.
Lending me strength when I have nothing left to give.

I am independent.
I swear.

Just sometimes I don't want to be.

every time i look at you
i fall in love
all over again

don't touch me
not like that
soft and gentle
strokes of light
i can't bring in air
my lungs won't work
when your thumb
circles on my skin
it makes me think
of what could be

don't look at me
not like that
sparkling and bright
with subtle winks
i can't stop the blush
from spreading
cheeks red and warm
heart tight
it makes me think
with hope

don't hold me
not like that
both tight and loose
with warm hands
circling and resting
on hips and knees
heart beating faster
right out of my chest
it makes me think
of night time affairs

so just please don't
because i'm already
half way in love

Please
Don't say it as a friend
Everytime you do
My heart sinks

Please
Don't remind me
That I can never
Have you

Please
Just don't say it at all
I can't hear it
Without breaking

I can barely look at you
Without thinking back to that night
Your fingers laced through mine
A dress far too tight
Make-up on your suit
Your smell lingering near
The warmth you provided
Your slicked back hair

But before I can forget
It all comes crashing down
You were only holding me
To stop me from falling to the ground
The make-up on your back
Was from an unforeseen collision
And yes I did notice
That when we touched, you stiffened

Although every time I see you
My heart breaks again
I can't help myself from wanting
The things that cause me pain
You laughed and said "not ever"
I giggled along as well
But now I can't breathe
And this life, it hurts like hell