he washed until the water ran cold. he scrubbed until the sponge was smooth as satin. the unscathed stack of ***** dishes
just relax backed in the sink laughing at him.

i want to be where you are
to feel your skin for it’s scars
i want to repair your heart
with greasy hands and spare parts

i hate the word cliche
for every letter and consonant
and vowel and sound as it's
spun around, thicker now
than it was when it first touched
my tongue and leapt to its death
the wet crescent diving board
it ****** upon despising the very breath
with that being said, i shove
aside the notion that i am above being in love

clouded and aroused
a clown laughed out of town
then proceeded to run
around and out of funny sounds
the pounding ofnthe door to his house
built from under the blouse of mediocrity

no heart and all thumbs
i’m tired of feeling dumb
scarred wrists and empty cup
i’m tired of feeling numb

coffee beans
ground into
making me feel like me

wet grass as summer retires to fall
i feel the falling temperature
anchoring me

Diaphragm stretched
Still nothing I could say
Enraged, I threw the bottom shelves out
To make the hiccups go away

a caricature of compensation
he's a decent gent but spent his rent
on bug repellant and a British accent
they circumvent the scent of malcontent
present tense, presenting the tents
to the residents of the tenements
post trauma

i've never been a wasteful person
and this realization makes me fear
that it would be a waste of the first beer
to not have a second
how would i sleep at night

when the checkered flag waves
and the street lights fade
promise me we'll stay the same
and when the roads we've paved
all go astray
promise me nothing inside you has changed

to put it quite simply
if i could intervene, you see
my mind understands that i should just be your friend
but my heart can't comprehend
*what the **** that means

it turns its ****** head
fading, the feelings evading
almost dead now
hiding in the shadows cast
meandering around
manifested from the past
i tried my hardest
i tried to keep them alive
and in doing so i suffocated them

splintered bone marrow
broken, brittle and for a minute
felt something akin to happiness
maybe pain’s what’s been missing
kissing curbs with flintstone lipstick

i'm afraid of confrontation
so i'll save it some place vacant
to be stagnant. decapitated.

fluorescent orange
sunset soaring
sore and a syringe
stripping bone so cringe
get a grip, kid
puzzle pieces
biting creases
in my lips
until they bleed
you said you love me
so it's cool goodnight

maybe i can find
the source of your golden glow
where the glass rewinds

as i define the muscle
and chisel the truths from stone
the sediment leaves chalk words
on my heart that imply my ill intent
gritting my teeth i repent
that true beauty lies within
because if i can’t change what i hate
then how can i deserve to live?

broken knuckles
holes in walls
blistered palms
battered soul
no answers for a man in pain
no silver lining to clouds of hate
everybody i love hates me too, dude

i'm done. i'm finished
i can't compete with this
generation of ignorance
if you like it, put a ring on it
but if you love it, put your **** in it
what no

I'm beyond me
Beating myself for being myself
And then beating me again

rainbow motion tongue
painting the sky of my lips
on the ground exists a pessimist
his name crossed from invitation lists
three decades spent amidst
his failures, never more content
each sad, wool cob web meant
success for someone devil-sent.

i’m still stuck in a bad place
but sunlight crests across the skyline
in my mind
tendrils of hope stretch across my sky
the day presented itself in a new way
i think i’ll be okay

it's like stepping out of a warm shower
into a meat locker

when there's nothing you can do right
and you don't know what you did wrong
and you don't know how to prove
that this is right where she belongs

cosmetics written on her hieroglyphic lips
whispering, i’m no stranger to danger
always knew she wasn’t new to bad news
patchwork quilt of sunday comics

she was the flame that ignited him
from a sapling to a beautiful oak
but when he grows too close to her
he catches the fire she emits
and they both pass impetuously

he knows this is inevitable
so he waits until autumn
and prays his leaves will escape
from her burning passion
and shape the tale taped to their backs

we walked past the buildings
that house all your feelings
and too many tooth fillings
is killing me
my mouth is sore
for one more reason

i think i built a crane
to lift the things i can’t
a wagon to carry my baggage
a ***** pack for my angst
a tote for all my love
backpack for the parts i hate
i drag these bags around
i take them to the bank

kindly whispered
the pale night's sun
*go to sleep, delusional one

bright orange illuminates the sky
making an ominous silhouette of the tree line
burning it's fragile frame into my eyes

behind the gleaming in your smile
is where i'd like to sleep for a while

i will fixe my gaze
the repairs are underway
stanchions and cables all gave way
support beams caved under the strength
the weight of love made them break
to be fair, they were rusted and
stripped of the brilliant paint
that made pedestrians stop and stare
and wait for someone else to see them there

my binge drinking addiction
blamed for my phalangeal affliction
a panoramic depiction
*that i have issues

so another weak night
on a weekend, we fight
to stay relevant but i
forgot you're heaven sent
i never meant to say this things

you've been playing this game
far too long
to think the rules have changed

you've been singing the same
heartbroken love song
since nineteen ninety eight

every melting second came
something was wrong
but you couldn't give it a name

so you gave it the first one you thought of
you ****** up
accidentally fell in love

tired of sending texts
the sentiments resemble
sorry i meant to hit you back
i guess i must have got distracted
lost track of hours
and days
and months
and lost the thought of what you last said
meds or death or coping strats
whatever just to get me back

i felt my legs cemented
in denim, drenched in sweat
vaulting fences in defense
of getting sentenced.

privileged to lay against a bed
when all is said and done
we lay with white linen
reminiscing on the battles won
while darker skinneded children
live in fear for things they haven’t done
privilege.

maybe it's because you're all strangers
and i'll never feel the judgement in your eyes
maybe that's why
all my fears feel free to ride the rides

it’s only when a stranger starts picking
pulling bark and sap starts running
desperately retreating to the warm comfort
of the mud around those buried roots

it’s only when you let down defenses
the brick let’s way to picket fences
and discomfort displaces the sun
of a summer day

am i a clam laboring away at a precious pearl,
or just a broken boy turning my back on the world?

liquid gold
licking the skyline
picture perfect
your eyeliner
sticks to your bottom eyelid tonight

i am the gravel
grabbing skateboard wheels
and skinning knees

skin kissed
with a golden mist
lips twist like a contortionist
fingertips dipped
in something delicious
chocolate?
cinnamon?
come on then
don't tease
please i want you inside of me

i will ice these bones
while you feel at home

i saw the fireworks
and i felt the lightening from it
everything around it so quiet

i am the firework
and i bleed lightening
everything around me so frightening