go ahead
open it
there's holes in the box
so it can breathe, silly
yeah it is my heart

finally, looking up from these pages
written by satan, demons impatient
seething with anger and waiting
for me to be complacent and eager
to hate everything.

replacing the fallen leaves with fragments
of feeling complete. i feel elated. realization
that nothing is what it means.
i’m becoming what i want to.
triumphantly defiant in the face
of the tyrant. and the tyrant is youth.
disappointing the evil spirits appointed
to me sews the seed of a feeling of freeing
myself from me.

your cold nose pressed to my cheek
as you kissed me in the street
i said
i’ll be with you for forty years, love
you said
i’m sorry, that’s not long enough