your beauty is like numbers
i can't put it into words

in some sense
life is like
a run on sentence
it's countenance
one of coincidence
things just happen
and they continue to
google or yahoo
won't give to you
a solution to cling to
or conclusion to bring you
a delusion of tranquility
there's a lack of structure
and punctuality
like punctuation
conductor and dj
please pick another station

for three weeks we'll embark
to sleep amongst the tree bark
easily remembering this is not a theme park
bring the s'mores and your best ghost stories
i'll lock them away in the diamond quarries
the insatiable nightmares will prey
on us beyond the light, we'll pray
at night they go away but if they
want to stay we'll stand and fight
fly a kite of grey and laugh and play

i saw you in the frozen food isle
unintentionally thawing everything out
making the manager mad
i wanted to stop and talk
and tell you this joke i heard about a pharmacist's daughter
but i hadn't seen my own reflection in fifteen minutes

maybe it's because you're all strangers
and i'll never feel the judgement in your eyes
maybe that's why
all my fears feel free to ride the rides

keep
me
asleep
the bones
play home
to a throne
where you sit
an endless pit
boys who lack wit
find themselves amidst
her critters and first aid kits
at the bottom of this
at the bottom of her world

skin kissed
with a golden mist
lips twist like a contortionist
fingertips dipped
in something delicious
chocolate?
cinnamon?
come on then
don't tease
please i want you inside of me

if i shiver
it's not from the brisk wind
if i twitch
its not from withdrawals
if i flinch
it's not from an abusive step parent
if i stutter
it's not from gynophobia
if i blush
it's not cause i was standing in the sun

i’ll probably stumble to the driveway
before the stars are all done shining
find a place still open
where the locals are unwinding

i got a fresh pack and a pocket of cash
ready to spend my last check
on the first girl that looks my way
forgetting all the word she’ll say
doesn’t matter, we’ll be gone by day

i know a lot of people
upset with the way i’m living
but i’ve never been known
for making good decisions

naIve
            Longing
           fOr something
    not eVen a lot
      just Enough
   i founD you
  or did You find me
  three wOrds i could never
              Utter again because you              
                                      kept them.

i quickly became the antagonist
crushing up dead leaves
and sprinkling them on your bones
throwing a bowl of honey nut cheerios
in a public swimming
leveling the plain
creating a crater

it doesn't mean i don't appreciate a nice ****
and you have a nice **** that i appreciate
very much

i'll try to draw a picture
a sentimental fixture
with all the words
i could conjure up
the most beautiful one is her

you can have them
all of them and keep them
they can swim with us in the deep end
and be alarming in case we sleep in

wanna hear the secret
to having a perfect day?
don't try at all
and all will be okay

i tried to distinguish
all my awful feelings
from how i really felt

i tried to extinguish
the fire i spread
from the one i lit myself

ripping scar tissue
the scabs on my lips
are these just the cards i’m dealt?

am i the dealer?
do i need a healer?
or more concealer?
a realist with a fake smile
i’ve been in this dentist’s chair for a while

distance, lost among the pages
two different people
two different places
left behind, dog eared fragments
sometimes i think it’s ok
to judge a street by its pavement

through the ring
and previous string
sewing together
these things i feel
a crestfallen sting
why repair what is
already rusted
why abrade soil
when it's already crusted
you found a home
for the words i entrusted
a corner in the ceiling
to one day be dusted

lying in bed
dying, nothing i said
meant any thing at all

a caricature of compensation
he's a decent gent but spent his rent
on bug repellant and a British accent
they circumvent the scent of malcontent
present tense, presenting the tents
to the residents of the tenements
post trauma

clouded and aroused
a clown laughed out of town
then proceeded to run
around and out of funny sounds
the pounding ofnthe door to his house
built from under the blouse of mediocrity

Why, O Lord,
In your wisdom that knows no bounds,
Must you architect man's hands
To not penetrate with ease
Onto the narrow cavity of thy cheez-it box?

i climbed the trees
and swung from the branches
i identified the enemy
and assumed a defensive stance
i absorbed their blows
and added them to my collection
i glanced through blood and sweat
and saw it was merely my reflection

it starts with one
one touch
or glance
or voice heard
across a crowded mall food court

then it becomes two
two people
in sync
or harmony
or a hand-me-down car
with hearts convulsing and palms sweating

eventually it becomes zero
but we'll cross that bridge
never if god permits

sometimes i feel like that
like an extra in a movie
like i'm standing in the background
with a blurry faced stranger
making words just for
the sake of conversations
not really saying anything worth
hearing because there's no one
worth telling. there's so much *******
that is shoveled out in bulk, myself
not excluded from this club
it's impossible to know what's truly important

as the years unfold
common sense has told
that if the bread
you hold has mold
on the edge
it should not enter your face
but the trash can instead
but common sense *****
and i want a sandwich

i expected a mislabeled can
filled with tap water
i expected to hold hands
when i met your father's daughter
i expected stuffed animals
at the zoo
i expected so much less
and then i got you

it turns its ****** head
fading, the feelings evading
almost dead now
hiding in the shadows cast
meandering around
manifested from the past
i tried my hardest
i tried to keep them alive
and in doing so i suffocated them

i ask you
with quivering voice
what love was or is
or where it went
past, present, future
worth every cent
as you swam your way
through the wet cement
close enough to say
but not close enough to be correct

the last thing i want to be is unoriginal
shoutout to my middle school principal
a gentleman and a fortune teller
i'm so glad you made me read ol' yeller

in this black room
i see a red and two greens
and a yellow under the door
and an orange being nosey through the window

we walked past the buildings
that house all your feelings
and too many tooth fillings
is killing me
my mouth is sore
for one more reason

i'd love to claim the name
of somebody a little less to blame
but it seems i'm scarred and mamed
for i attempted to tame a lion
that doesn't play the same game
it really is my own fault
for believing the flaws i saw
could be brought to a stop
dropped and rolled in salt
oh god, when you come across
the padlock to the box that contains
my demise i pray you give it a nod
and a wave as if to say you'll save it
for another day
and allow me to apologize
for trying to play...well, you

i hope i see you tonight
and when i do
i hope i'm drunk enough to play it cool
but sober enough to remember your face

we could call this chapter silhouette
it slips beneath the stairs at night
and in the morning, wakes up abruptly
without warning
without a blanket
without anything
wearing my monday best
she rolls over and whispers
with lips like an anesthetic
*if you don't die
then i might

the sequel
is never as good as the original

but i'll still pay eight bucks
and sit in a dark room
that smells like ***
with strangers
eating burnt popcorn

to watch you for ninety two minutes

can i sleep here?
soundly i would
and have divine dreams
hibernating on a hammock hung
from the corner of each eye
oh and darling, if i die
this exactly where i want it to happen

it is like a fistful of barbed wire
to pull myself out of lava

these diabetic dreams
won't sleep until they've devoured
every sweet word you say

bleeding out over a broken mirror
dissected reflection, here’s my deepest fear.

whether you steel or iron
either way you'll have some fresh *** clothes

i lost my edge along the way
sanded down to a subtle gray
saturated, the colors drain out
until the day i blow my brains out

look how their eyes follow your every move
dead, judging eyes telling you you're wrong
their insolence rotting your bones down to the marrow
the lies you told
the things you stole
all reanimated in this
hallway of souls

some people don't see it
the beauty that lies underneath
it's rough and beaten exterior
the art that grows like grapevines
behind walls of over-compensation
and masculinity and in some cases
but certainly not all, misled homophobia
i enjoy football because
it was one of very few shared interests
between me and my father
so reluctantly i'll admit that the fourth wall
could be built from deep seated daddy issues

i would say i felt in my soul
your words like a loaded gun
but i am a ginger..i don't have one

i am only an idea
to perch and take flight
without so much as shifting
a single barren twig

like a sugar coated table saw blade
serrated and waiting which my heart evades
as it stands up and shouts repent
i apologize, in the name of self defense