but as you sink i float on
we’ll separate like dew on grass the
need to settle in the ground appears
to me, not to you having yet to
learn with simplicity comes strength
to overcome a raging past to
live again freely
with sadness in your eyes and the
most fragile mind i have experienced
of course you fly away
the remnants of your story just
pieces to the puzzle you wished were
missing lost in the woodwork

I am a chrysalis who only
wants protection and
to be protected, because as I
sit slowly unwinding my energy is
down, slowly propelling to the ground
and i shatter as i meet the pavement
hearing nothing but crickets, not even
your voices pretending to quiet my
mind’s racing thoughts

I am still on the sidewalk, they
don’t even look at me, the
want to walk right past,
to crush me under their soles,
leaving fragments as evidence.
anyone, anyone don’t leave me
behind

You line your nose with powder.
Can you see the paranoia as
easily as it is for me to see? You
mistake pain as pleasure and I see
charm as desperation. The appreciation
for kindness only gets you so far before
tragedy washes over our eyes.
If I could I would but I can’t when
you’re placing everyone else last,
not even the kids stand a chance when you’re
looking at bags of false hope
closely enough to drown your dreams.

you sit in a daze filtered with street lights
At eyes length and ears depth
You wonder how you got to be
The ******* the second floor balcony
Chainsmoking as if you heart would flatline,
Your blood stop flowing
Through your veins that
The tiniest bit of alcohol was seeping through
To the skin that only sometimes felt comfortable
If you stopped

Only comfortable
When someone else was admiring it
And the shadows that dance behind you
Are the shadows that you wished you were
In your eyes, when anyone says I love you
Clinging to it
Believing that at the end of the day
That they won't stay
Whirring sounds of cars pass by
Thoughts become softer, the world becomes louder
You're not quite sure what you adore more
The silencing of your being
Or the loudness of your heart
As every chore you do is reciprocated
In ways you prefer to love
And be loved.

And be loved.
To be loved, to be loved.
What a sight I imagine as my children grow
To see the life I sought
With homemade cookies
And scrambled eggs for dinner
With snapdragons and lillies blooming
As rain water collects by the play set
Outside in the plethora of greatness

To sit on a second floor balcony and consider
The life that brought you here
With too many cigarettes
And enough bad decisions to
Create the life you always dreamed
Wouldn't be your own
Stuck between what could be
And what is

People always tell me, “he was born with a silver spoon in his mouth,”
But how did his mother form a spoon of silver?
Was his mother made of gold,
Placenta made of diamonds?
Perhaps, instead, the doctor placed it
As he placed the eggs with daddy’s *****.
Where is it, then, can I find a silver spoon
To insert into my ******,
Believing my procreation will hold
It locked between her lips as she makes her exit?
Dreary days await,
Between a dying black mother and a teen
Without abortion options,
Between unaffordable housing and
The pricy whole food grocery store,
Between budget draining formula and
Deprecating comments from men without
**** - or kids.
So, tell me, then where is my silver spoon?
How can I put it inside,
Store it away to upcycle into education?
But it sure would be nice
Not to walk down to the corner pawn shop
And request an education - her education.
I’m not asking for a handout,
Because look where we are, drowning
Amongst failed startups in
Pursuit of the American Dream.
I’m asking for simple decency,
And for you to share with the future
The very means in which have buried
Your sensibility
To maybe lessen the anxiety
And suicidal rates of a country
Founded on freedom
That is trapped by pharmaceuticals
And the choice of living rich
Or dying broke.
I’m only asking for some decency,
To share your boat with sinking dreamers.
I’m only asking for you to plant a seed.
I can do the watering.

I’m only asking for a little bit of decency.

magic mornings here with you
grasping for a piece of grace
fingertips paint the fields
rooting within the ruin

Options whirling as the past creeps upward
All the heavy desires and life long infatuations
exhausted the present's daunting boundaries.
To drive in this tornado, I could surely find the answer to
alter perceptions: a bottle of this, or that, a conversation
my mind disappears in. An alternate
reality that doesn't reside here, a reminder that
disease exists, the slab of stone this dream
is standing on, right beside the pedestals we
only kept each other on. The lonely words of gratitude
spreading smiles across our faces, pushing past platonic.

It's pulsing through my veins, fearing excitement is
about to turn to hesitation when my lips begin
to touch yours. Crumbling in the arena before we
get the chance to dance behind closed doors.
The lights begin to dim, flickering with rage.
Last but not least, please tell me one more time
of the thoughts you hear. Will you be defeated with
me?