Head
I cant get you out of mine
Even as hard as I try
I think about you night and day
Waiting for your next reply
I wonder what you're doing
and if you think about me too
If you would ever want this to happen
Or if you've even got a clue

Over
They tell me to get over you
That you're no good for me
That really I'm just fooling myself
That this will only lead to misery
But it's not that easy
When I've fallen this deep
You've caught me in your spell
And I'm hoping it's me you'll want to keep

Heels
This is how the saying ends
I've fallen "head over heels"
I never knew it could be this dangerous
I never knew that this was how it feels
Maybe there will be a day
When you can feel the same
But I'd like you to know this is all your fault
And there is only you to blame.

You're happy maggie
You taught me a lot 

The forest was our adventure
The daytime was our adventure
I filled your bowls
We fell asleep on each other
We're both afraid of thunderclaps
And you could make me smile
No one can do that

I held you when you were sick today
You looked so sad
And it completely
shattered my heart
And I fell on the pieces of it
I couldn't believe it

I will be with you when you go
It'll be hard but,
Deep breath
Deep
Breath.
Thank You

spent
went everywhere

Lost
afraid; I went
faster
propelled into an unknown direction
kept going
"**** look at that!"

once found satisfaction
try try try again

a mess: a blur
a loving kind of videotaped ******
a violent *** spur
no idea what I'm looking for
And until I find it
try try try again

try try try
try try try
try try try

it's over.

The pieces of the puzzle are scattered on the floor
You don’t know if you can do it anymore
You start to look around to see what you can do
But you truly don’t know if you can even get through
You see the hot mess that you were left to be
So you go to seek out help hoping you’ll be free
Free from all the pain you’ve felt and the misery
Hoping you can let it all go and just—be
The people really help you come to terms of all that has happened
And you start to see clarity that you never expected
It becomes easier and easier to simply be yourself
Until you finally take your old self off the shelf
You look down and see the puzzle pieces on the floor
And you can’t stand to see them there anymore
So you start to pick them up and put them back together
And the pieces of your life look better and better
You realize some of the pieces aren’t good for you anymore
So you throw them away so they won’t hurt you as before
Pretty soon the puzzle is put back together
And though it looks a little different, your life is better than ever

What sort of divination is this?
Immediately paralyzed by a feathery kiss.
The magnetism between us was always so strong,
But now I'm tortured awaiting you to arrive erelong.

You cast your wand, chant triple syllable spell
You filled my void, something you'd always done well

Now something has changed

This is far more intense
I find that I have lost every single defense

Tender Wizard, Loving Warlock, I am begging thee
Do not ever set me free.
Whatever potion, illusion, or spell this is
I am forever in need of you, my Adonis

For withdrawal seems fatal on both ends
The future now on you depends
For I do not want to leave my trance
This allurement was never a happenstance

Forever I see you with love veiled eyes
Vulnerable to even the slightest demise.

When I see you pass by
I don't recall the fights,
I remember the smiles,
The laughter, the way
You turn from me now
As if I was a stranger
On the bus, a coincidence
That we bumped into each other
I don't remember
The words you spat
The accusations I threw
I shouted and you,
You shouted back
Helpless against irrationality
So when you pass by
I stop trying to catch
Your eye, as I shuffle by
Looking at my feet
Wondering why I
Bothered thinking
About you anyway
Because you don't see me
The frightening bit
That you might never have
Some days I feel bitter,
I feel used
But most days, I put on my best,
Try to catch your eye again

I find my mind drifting back to you
Wondering what you're doing right now
Wondering if you're thinking of me
It happens from time to time
Especially when something happens
Good, bad, mediocre--I find myself wanting to tell you about it
What's happening to me?
Am I turning into this lovesick fool?
When did this minor crush turn into something this strong?
I'm not sure if I like it--
The vulnerability like a shy kid on his first day of high school
You literally have a part of me that no one else can take
I don’t know when it happened, when you claimed that part of me
But you did
And now here I am
Thinking about you
*And wanting to tell you everything about me

I came across that old picture today and it brought tears to my eyes
It reminded me of what we used to have
We used to be a tight knit group; completely inseparable
Now I've been replaced and you don't even think of me
There's an old saying that says:
"Keep the picture. They never change. The people in them do."
How much we've all changed
I used to think you'd all be in my wedding
Now I know that that won't happen
We drifted apart, we all took different paths
Or rather, I took a different path while you all stayed on the same one together
You left me here
Now I just have the pictures
**And the memories

Life is funny.
There is such
a thin line,
between good
and bad. Right
and wrong. Pain
and healing.

Today I hurt myself.
I watch my blood run
and I smiled. I smoked
a black and mild nice
and slow, thinking
about the benefits of
cancer. Dying.

Today I could have
stopped myself.  A few
breathes, a hot shower.
I could have left
my sharp edged friend
untouched. I could have
called someone to
enjoy feeling loved.

But I didn't.

Today I almost died.
Yesterday I did.
I wonder what tomorrow
Will bring me.

"a mecha bug
impossibly small
beady compound eye
cute little botfl  y  antennae
recording Me

sleepyhead
as I lay down
in my bed
embedding its little body
in my dreamcloud that's
above my head
in my   bed

all my prayers + wishes
all my luck gifts from God
the robo-pede
uploads it's buzz code

And the scheiße repeats
tonight then tomorrow,
1 then 2,
2night then 2morrow
one then two