Critique me. - Hello Poetry

Jun 2012

Lauren Christina Pearson

What blaze of fury has brought such decay?
Translucent hearts are all the color this picture
of hate. Can you see the broken ones? Can you
smell the hopelessness they wear like some
expensive perfume? Watch them cower and scamper
through bushes. Hiding their scorched skin like it's
something obscene. Watch as they scatter like marbles
from a child's circle. Building fire from scraps of oh-so
precious wood. Their smoke clouds the almost
non-existent breeze. What would their ancestors say?
Would they blush at the ***** rawness of this world?
Would they gasp at the events that brought us here?
Does it even matter? In the end the grass
is gone. The trees have died and the flowers have
fallen. Tell me what is sacred about this.

Where is the god you prayed to?

This started as a warm up exercise in my creative writing class. We had three words we had to incorporate, and then as we wrote the teacher would add another word we had to use every minute or so. Enjoy :]

Jun 2012

Lauren Christina Pearson

Reality

If life followed logic,
we could all get through easily.

Join hands and think through
wars like they were a word problem.

If life followed logic,
we could negotiate fear.

Bargain and trade for a better
phobia. Trade the darkness for a candle.

If life followed logic,
we could hold court on heartbreak.

Sentence people to live a life of letting
others down easily. Set bail at telling the truth.

If life followed logic,
we would be at loss for purpose.

Because we are here to experience things. Not
sit in a chair and smile at one another.

Written for the experiment " Adopt a Metaphor " Metaphor adopted - Negotiate Fear

Jun 2012

Lauren Christina Pearson

A bridge to the moon

Let’s take everything we have,
and build a bridge up to the moon.
From parked cars to table tops,
apple cores and spoons.
The broken toys under our beds
can be the very base.
Our weathered dreams from child hood,
will hold it all in place.

We’ll race for broken window panes,
and empty trash can bins.
For boxes once used as forts,
and endless bobby pins.
Shampoo bottles tossed aside
will make such lovely rungs.
Bubbles dripping out their sides
smell of summer and bubblegum.

We must hurry before they all catch on,
and yell for us to stop.
They’re fearing broken bones,
that we won’t survive the drop.
But still we climb like furry ones,
monkeys in disguise.
Jumping up from bar to bar,
higher in the sky.

Quick! Reach for the balloons
we let go of much too soon.
Tie them to sides of our new
pathway to the moon.
Make it look like a carnival!
Make everyone come and see!
Our dreams have gone far past their reach.
We’re actually doing this, you and me.

And in this day we’ll accomplish more than they ever have.
Because today we took our dreams, and ran with them hand in hand.

Jun 2012

Lauren Christina Pearson

Dear Lillian.

I never got to hold you,
and I never saw your face.
I didn't even know you were
inside me, until it was much
too late. But darling never fear,
for I once heard it said, that
a love like what I have
for you, is never truly dead.

Sleep soundly my dear child,
wherever you may be. If there
is a heaven high above us, or
a nonexistent sea. I live my life quite
differently, ever since you left. I
like to think I'd make you proud my
love, if you followed in my steps.
For you see I'm training, so that
someday I'll be strong. Strong, and ready,
and proud, to hold someone, much
like you, in my arms.

Inspired by a quote. "A baby is something you carry inside you for nine months, in your arms for three years and in your heart till the day you die." - Mary Mason.
And of course, Lillian.

May 2012

Julia

An outlet

For me,
writing a poem is like
opening the floodgates to my soul.
My thoughts
pour onto the tattered pages;
I let go of emotional control.

For moments,
just a few precious moments,
My racing mind finds unmistakable peace.
I finish,
and return to my mundane routine
finally feeling like I can breathe.

What about you?

May 2012

kaylee adamz

the law of everything and nothing and you and art

x.

understand that nothing is real.

**.

search for art in all that you see (for art is present in all things).

***.

art is everything, nothing is real. we are left to conclude that art is nothing, nothing is art, or perhaps everything is nothing-which makes art more real than nothing, because it is in fact something.

xxxx.

when we smoked cigarettes in the alley way during winter, our backs against the cold brick wall; well, darling, that was art.

xxxxx.

you made poems and paintings and songs and dances, but i’d never seen anything more real (or perhaps less real) than the way your eyes looked when they were in love. and that, well that was the truest art there could ever be.

xxxxxx.

understand that your love is everything, and everything is art, but nothing is real, or art is nothing. my words will never quite be right, but your eyes in love were the rightest thing that never existed -(or existed more than anything).

Apr 2012

Jasmine Blick

Dear Girl,

Dear Girl,

I once was beautiful
With a dress of black lace
And dark blue ribbons
Tied in my hair

Stored high on a store shelf
I smiled all day
As children passed wishing to play
Once denied by their parents they'd sulk away

This bothered me so
Created to serve but one purpose
To put a smile on the face of every child

I began to loose hope
As each day seemed to prove my failure
Still with all my beauty
The store keeper decided to move me

I was now hidden
From the eyes of each small child
They'd have to search
To find me a simple dolly

Then one day you saw me
And a gentle smile came across your face
You pulled me into you arms
Whispering "she's perfect"

Holding me tight
You ran for your mommy
Begging her to buy me

My smile had come back
I felt no longer a failure
Safely snugged in your arms
My button eyes gleamed brighter

I loved you that much I knew
From the first time I saw you
The drive to my new home
Seemed to take forever

Once we had gotten there
You made me promises as you brushed my hair
Even with my mouth stitched shut
You said I said so much

You whispered your secrets without a fright
And you'd pull me close every night
We'd hide under the blankets
When the day turned to night

But one day you went out
I awoke on your shelf
For the first time you left me...
I waited all day for you to come home

Then when I saw you walk
I smiled and lifted my head
I figured you run and grab me
Then cry when you said how much you missed me

Instead you grabbed my ripping arm
And tossed me to the bed
My arm hung by one thread
You just smiled as I cried
Then my tears you fed

I knew then
You'd never be the same girl again
The one who pulled me from that self where I hid
Who promised to protect me no matter your health

That's when it started
My beauty faded away
As I became your Voodoo Doll
And your heart wilted over

One night you'd cuddle me
And whisper how much you loved me
You'd even clean my one eye
(The other disappeared after your first trip)

The next you rip out my seems
And stab me with pens
As the room filled with my muffled scream
You smile so pleased

Sure you'd stitch me back up
But to what just take em out again?
My visions became blurred
As your unhappiness was taken out

You used to treat me like a person
Turns out it wrong
I guess it will always be
Me who is the toy...

Sincerely,
Your Voodoo Doll

P. S.
I still have but one more secret
Even with all this pain
I'll always love you

Please don't go away...

I wrote this about my recent experiences:/
That are still continuing soo

Apr 2012

Jasmine Blick

The Hatter With Horns

The hatter with horns
Made his dear Alice a promise
"Wonderland my dear
We'll take you there
You'll never have another fear"

He pulled his Alice close
"Come on dear just run
To the rabbit hole you know?
No papers
And no signatures
Just grab my hand and I'll guide the way"

"I doubt a little trip
Down a rabbit hole will cure me
Of all the pain she left me.."
I disagree with my simple friend

Tick tock, tick. tock.
Tick..tock.., tick...tock...
The clocks around so Then suddenly stop
As the hatter bows his head
And all the lights slowly dim

"Its so simple Alice my dear
Take this hand I hold out toward you
Grip it tight and never let go
We'll run till we see Whitey
Climb in his cab and he'll drive us the rest of the way

With a few conditions of course
'No Food Or Drink
No Dying
No Puking
No Nothing Else'

Once we get to the Rabbit hole
Hold to me tight
We'll fall quite a ways

But just remember
In Wonderland everything is nonsense
I will protect you there

My dear Alice
All the pain will go away
Now quick make a decision
Pain or carefree"

"But won't she hate me?
If I'm gone they'll miss right?
What if they forget me?"
The clocks start ticking again
Tick....tock...., tick...tock...
Tick..tock.., tick.tock.

"Time is ticking Alice
Our 15 seconds are up Its now or never"
The hatter bows with his hand stretched out

"Yes!" I whisper
Reaching for his hand
With a quick spin he whispers into my ear
"Run dear...ready?
3...2...1"

I need help fixing this.....

Apr 2012

Jasmine Blick

the Fairest Zombie of Them All

"Mirror mirror on the wall who's the fairest
Of them all?"

       "With guns of great aim
As this world goes up with one flame
Snow White I declare
With her white studded mair

       Her dwarfs have gone
But she still has till dawn
With her prince charming at her side
And her fairies to guide
Snow White I declare
With her white studded mair"

The chipmunks and deer
That once killed her fear
Now follow her hungry and moaning
As they creep closer you hear them groaning

Her friends are dead
Her heart is full of dread
How will she go on and make it to dawn?

They attack
She fights back
The horde its gone?
Ten minutes till dawn

At least that's the happy ending?

WRONG!

An apple red and delicious
Plucked from a tree that seems so viscous
"A bite won't hurt?"
Now she's lying in the dirt

With a moan
And obviously a groan
You question the mirror once more

"Mirror Mirror on the wall who's the fairest
ZOMBIE of them all?"

"SNOW WHITE
SNOW WHITE"

As the sun began to rise
You'll hear her faint cries
Her flesh is burning
Because of her yearning
For that one bite
Ended her fight

For no guns of great aim
Will ever hide her shame
For the last bite she'll take
Took it all without a stake

"I don't think a true loves kiss
Will turn out to fix this"

I really need some help fixing this:3

Apr 2012

Ishmyre of the Inferiors

******* Drama Queens...

I feel so ******* stupid
Managing someone else's cupid
Why I ever gave a ****
I cannot determine
Now I'm treated like the vermin!

Never said a ******* word
To make you feel you were unheard
As I listen to the lies
I can't help but laugh inside
At you
On your self-inflicted stupid ride

So take your ******* somewhere high
Where I don't have to hear
Those ******* lies!

I know what I have done
No apologies are going to come
Abused this way
I will be no longer
It's your addiction
And it's your drama

Take it somewhere that I'm not bothered
I've got no time for pity monsters
And I am not your ******* Mother!

Apr 2012

Ishmyre of the Inferiors

Rejection.

What are we so afraid of?

Rejection.

Afraid of wanting, but not being wanted
Afraid of loving, but not being loved
Afraid of feeling, but not being felt
Afraid of asking and being denied

Why do we stay inside of our cages?

Rejection.

Have a look at my cage...

It's the one with the open door.

I rejected it.

Mar 2012

Ishmyre of the Inferiors

Persecution of the Flame Bearers...

The cops took my ****!
Beautiful living creatures
Extinguished by extraction

This message made possible by
The bible-thumpers passion

A simple farmer, simple life
He's caused no one pain or strife
The victim absent, non-existent?
It matters not, just throw him in prison!