Completely befuddled
We fake it as muggles
The abuse we face alone
Buries confusion in our bones

The siren places fear in our hearts
She can be ours
If she wants the part
We can get ahead
By abusing those who would give their bread

In this we are all the same
Many silent murderers with unimportant names
Psychopaths on angry paths
Hell bent on *******

Would you let them continue to dictate the conditions?
Do you trust the statisticians?
We are the result of the easy decision
The sagging construction of constant derision

Another man's home subject to intrusion
A stance is required to end the delusion

They're not here to protect you

It's all an illusion!

Furrowing deep with claws blood-stained,
into dirt, a heap of heavy ashes,
too depressed to flow with the wind,
or dance with breezes sprung from heels clicking past,
I sink.

These ashes reside
from my burnt body.
Wrinkled edges, dim, clotted blood,
a heart suffocated by the flame
of victimization.

Take a scalpel to my remains,
mutilate my body, my Self, all that remains,
stitch on male genitalia,
or chop my hair off,
none can remain, none can remain.
Gorge out my fat, reveal
gaping white bones;
none can remain.

An emergency room
(a yew)
A home with quiet time at 2:00
(an ever-green)
A place with after-meal support
(a willow)
A pile of *****
(a palm)
A fresh crimson cut
(a pine)


I met you.
(before it was too late)


You ****** me into the arms of a God
And you placed a Bible underneath my bare feet.
I stumbled and cut my heel on its edges
and watched the blood seep into the welcome mat.

When you first gently unlaced my blouse
flashes, images, screeching memories flew back in
shattering porcelain glass.
But a look in your eyes
soothed the tempest
and I drifted along with your rhythmic tides.

I once said I wanted to be a tree.
(Nothing more than still wood.)
I once felt like a million dollars wasted.
Swallowing the moon and the stars so bright.

Now I say
overlooking shy tulips, so young, so young,
Humanity is a house abandoned
and in you and Him have I found
the warmth that tiptoes across my chest,
like the pit of a peach radiating sweet, sweet nectar.

That quiet contentment of knowing you're going somewhere,
Sitting, waiting, watching, wondering.
Traveling fulfills that rambling desire
Needing to leave and wanting to go
Just to be somewhere else and away
Free.
Others sit idle counting the minutes
I sit happy counting the miles
Going, Going, Going,
The In-between – the Non-places
Thats home to me
Wanderlust – traveling free
Going to where you're supposed to be.
Strange faces in new places
This is home to me.
Miles away with a bag on my back,
Anything to wander free
Far from the mundane every day
The waiting, the journey, the getting there,
Its what makes it worth it to me.

Your
beloved feline settles into himself and
muffs his paws together,
tongue
sticks out slightly like
a wedge of grapefruit between his teeth
and when you call,
he murmurs
but only sometimes comes.

I could never paint
your eyes right,
sticky drops of green
plastered among
the warmest browns
Your river's light lost
in the reeds

The walls of our house
stir and shake, children's
fingers poking in between
window frames, pushing
skeletons through spaces
in the screen -

They pulse there, hot
and wet like grass outside
on the lawn, my breath
catches when I think of them,
lungs trampled into the carpet
Our youth this yellow honeyed
liquid decomposing in the sun

Someday we'll sit, together,
and remember them
as they pass - today is not that day
Winds bluster through the cracks
and my highest clouds melt
with the fog

Deep love shoved
as food into the garbage,
moving bright under the grime

Yearning to be seen for
what it was,
kaleidoscope heart
shifting
until it found
what you were looking for