I'm that baby in the cradle
******* on a pacifier
With a loaded gun in my face
Waiting for a flash then darkness
I'm lost again to my own thoughts
Traveling street corners
I no longer remember
Waiting in almost every one for death
Like bus stops into the afterlife
Yet mine only promises
An emptiness filled with a paralyzing numbness
Leaving me dumbfounded
Confused on which way I should go
It's the small things in life I embraced
But watching pulses drop
Quicker than raindrops
Has me terrified of tomorrow
I'm scared to live yet too scared to die
I'm in between in which direction is right
Yet everyone who listens tells me
Have faith in The Lord
Give yourself unto God
Yet what do they know
When they can't tell me
What the color of their aunts brains are
What the smell of your soul taste like
As it rots away in your arms
....
It's those dots you should worry about
Bc it might lead to me no longer existing
In a world of people I thought I could save
And put meaning to my own life
Leaving a sense of hope that I'll be ok
When all else fails to give it to me
But a blind man will create a false world
Where only he can see
A deaf man will create sounds to hear
A mute man will speak in riddles
So he can be the only one with the answer
Yet what does a depressed man have
When all he had faded before it existed
....
It's an ending to a life
An maybe all this death has me petrified
To the point I'll go insane
Far beyond the breaking points
Of my own limits
....I'm sorry....