Yesterday the sun shone
I saw shadows on my wall
They opened the blinds for a little while
and took away my shawl
The window was opened just a crack
to let some fresh air in
but the smokers gather around the back
so fresh air cannot win
I dream of gardens warm and sweet
of glowing summer sky
but yesterday the sun shone
and still it passed me by

If you're tired of carrying such weight,
that droops your shoulders and skews your gait
That you feel numb from the pain of the past,
and every new problem leaves you aghast

If you think you're one of the condemned and shady,
because your troubles come and never leave,
listen to the story about this young lady,
and then thank me for what you shall receive

She comes from I know not where,
and she goes I know not when,
spell her name, I know not how,
and speak to her, I know not what

Be not deceived thou yet my friend,
for she does not hide what others conceal,
she lives her life like an open book,
and every page has something to reveal

But what makes her unique and what makes her rare,
is how she oscillates between fun and care,
she looks at black and white in the same color - red
and that, I guess, is enough said

You may think she is born of privilege,
but let me tell you that is not true,
she gets her share of joy and pain,
trust me, she's just like you

And just like you she's afraid of insects,
and ghosts and ghouls and all that stuff,
but unlike you she doesn't run away from fear,
and unlike you she's pretty tough

So next time you feel like it's too much to bear,
and you feel engulfed in fires,
just read this poem and once again,
think about the girl who inspires!

She lays in bed at night, curled up and silent,
Desperately clutching the fabric of her sweater
As if its threads are keeping her together.
Her eyes like two fountains of glittering saltwater in the darkness.

Under the blankets of shadows she shakes,
Like a silent earthquake; trembling and destructive.
She's falling apart, but who would notice?
Her pain is masked behind a carefully constructed disguise.
Her plastered on smile has started to fade now,
Old wallpaper in this beaten, weathered house.

When the sun sinks under the trees,
Monsters creep into her room and whisper in her ears.
They sink their teeth into her skin and the poison seeps in,
Coursing recklessly through her veins until it has reached her very heart.
A heart that now beats timidly, crushed into tiny sharp fragments,
And grafted together by loosely tied glimmering threads.

Sleep slips underneath her eyelids like a gift,
A temporary escape from the storm brewing inside her.
"Help me," she whispers as she fades away,
Lifting off the dead decaying landscape of her mind.
Her life is a sad mournful song, perpetually stuck on rewind.

I will not write you into poetry,
because you are worth more than these few lines deserve.
More than my metaphors could muster.
Beyond my simile.

I will not inscribe your name on my arm,
nor place you as a seal to my heart
lest my gestures be rendered meaningless.

Instead, I will trace my dreams
in circlets around your head.
I will draw upon the back of your hand
my good fortunes and pleasure.

I will seal each moment
                with the softness of your skin
and lay my anchor between the tips of your fingers.

I will mouth non-sense syllables,
and laugh out of turn.

All, in turn, just to see you smile.

Because in a world where everything seems fleeting,

this moment is forever.

Constrain me
Lock me away
To save me

In your mind
Or closet
Or under your bed

Packed
To find me
When you shake
When you scream

Store me
And forget me
So when you expect me least

There I will be.
Carnivorously.

Holding you down

Your flesh between my jaws
Seething
Breathing
Through teeth

Quiero escaparme de tí
ver cuanto sobrevivo sin tí
luchar y desistir,
ver el miedo a los ojos, y decirle que no cabe más aquí.

Esas palabras que me hirieron una y otra vez lanzarlas
al pasado y sombrear de colores mi piel.
Tus golpes a mi cuerpo los logré sanar,
pero tú caracter lo heredó mi personalidad,
no se puede cambiar lo que Dios hizo de tí,
pero yo sí puedo; si puedo escapar de tí.

Porque mis sentidos piensan y sienten lo que debo hacer,
y por eso escribo esto para decirte que no cabes más aquí.
Quiero escaparme, escaparme de tí.

the town air is still more insipid than I remember
the decaying laid to rest in ranch homes and townhouses
and more recently underground

the cold, dry and tasteless, leeches life from the bones
for the slowing heart of these abandoned streets

where families, unaware, come to their slaughter
cloven by the allure of death
hanging in the wind

the husks of the trapped wander
and masquerade the bar stool seats
of have-nots, should-have-beens, and glory days of yesteryear

and all i can do is shake the black powder from my shoes
for this stop on my travels
this shadow of a city
i've no reason to return

I long for the day to come when I might see
Fields of ivory sprayed with crimson love
The Heart pumping, from above, a new light

Come to see this day with me
When all the world shall joyous sing
Hallelujah, Hallelujah, risen ‘gain the murdered King

Follow me into this place, the inner sanctum
The place hidden from the world
And rejoice, the blood was spilt, the story nears its end

Come and hear the sound with me
A thousand newly silenced screams
And all the world in disarray, shall gather silent
Praise His name

How will it look when Glory falls
From Heaven to Earth and in perfect grace
And all the world shall fall to their knees?

Come and share this hope with me
When the King shall with His people be
And all the world and the righteous sing
Praise His name

The softest beach of sunburnt sand
Comes flush with waves of turquoise warmth
At the tips of my hand

A fresh breath of air puffs my skin
Feisty coconut and cucumber scents
Fight in the influence of the wind

Pushing backward with a quickening allure
At arm’s length the beauty bows
Breaking each edge, the whitening pure

With a subtle pull each wave hits shore
Then water ebbs its playful game
Returning again for a little more

In a way serene, my defenses lay bare
Staring Life face to face, with tactile reassurance
I grasp for strands of ocean hair

I still remember the moment you let go
Wearing my navy, Notre dame gold encrusted sweater

I remember how your eyes glistened and glazed over
The hazel jewels covered in a breath of dust
As you clutched up for someone to save you
To save us

And I stood there silently quaking
Unaware of the rivers flowing behind your melancholy cheeks
That poured out from your eyes and your mind, your heart and your breast
And spilled all over the sanctuary floor, abandoned

How you clutched my angst splattered teen t-shirt
How you concealed your suffering subtly in the crest of my shoulder
How I was so thankful for your strength
And the open hole that held our hearts in that moment

Sealed in the next
After one last embrace as one
And the bones broke as they were slammed against the pestle
As we separated and molted, given new skin
And put on the same monochromatic, dull eyed smile
Just as the day we met

And our hearts hurt, our lives reformed
Our paths split
Our eyes cold
And we were *fine.

Wake me. Shake me. Just embrace me. Let it all unfold.

Tame the pain that boils insane and stand for me to hold.

Rise and run the race you won for I still can't believe

A world exists where you are missed in just the way we grieve.



Shell-shocked. Broken. Clutching tokens proving you were here.

Stretching skin that's wearing thin on hands that pull you near.

Unfair: a word that's too absurd to symbolize the hour.

The moment when your soul escaped and hope lost all its power.



Return. Confirm that love holds firm in proving it can't lose.

I won't submit. I can't acquit the demon of his ruse.

How dare he take it all from me and leave this life asunder?

Ripped apart by apathy of others, I sink under.



No one knew us. No one saw the bond that rubbed the moonlight raw.

The love we held, its flame too bright. The light that left the day in awe.

Hurtful, too were all the truths that you shared just with me.

In doing so, you hid such depth that no two eyes could see.



Memories of all the times your lips formed words that shone

Echo evermore within. Reverberations hone.

They whittle bit by aching bit into the home you dug.

The roots you planted in my heart consume me like a drug.



Ironic, maybe that the reckless torture I should mention

Was one more creature that you conquered, breaking all convention.

Pride is such an empty word compared to what I felt

When you became a woman who could stand where she had knelt.



So this I have: A picture of your ever-gorgeous face.

Lividity I hold cries, "Save the angel he disgraced."

I've nothing else but vestiges of all that we once built.

A laugh. A tear. A broken fear whose sword pierced to the hilt.



Destroying misconceptions that once drove you to protection

We found love among the ashes of rejection.

Thus grasping toward affection, we got lost in misdirection.

Vonda, truly, our bond matches your complexion.



Beauty lies where dreams won't die, and this we'll always cling to.

Sharing minds that defy time and complicate what they knew.

Standing, fighting, life-delighting, wonderful; you opened

Eyes unto a world that showed you you were not quite broken.



Some part of me wished wistfully that I might 'ere have listed

Lines that drew a complicated swath 'round what we'd twisted.

Fingers that beat perfectly in time with songs of meaning.

Singing long into the nights that screamed of fates convening.



No, I think I'll keep the truth that only you and I can know.

The tears I've spilled don't need to find a place for life to grow.

I'm terrified that I can't hold you, see you, catch a glance.

But I love you too much for death to ever have a chance.