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 Mar 2019
HJV
Here's a little something you might not expect, how do you think you'll react.

When you see a mind, that has been lain bare.

Here's what I've got to share.

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I'll tell you I finally did see the parts of my reptilian brain.
All these emotions - arts that logically, I just can't explain.

Now in my room I try to contemplate dread,
but you ain't seen nothing as of yet, I doubt my regret.
To be honest I was quite ******* upset.

This has just begun,
But I'd like to be done.

There is no escaping my id agaping,
my superego mentally ******.
My core is reshaping.

I was sad, not gonna lie. I felt like, I would die.
Everything that happened feels like a dream,
because it's new and too much, ******* extreme.

Now I feel lost, guidance at any cost.
lack my map, lost the path. Slack the rap, frost the math.

Dilation of the mind
Frustration of the soul
Contemplation aligned
Flirtation condole

You might not be able to see,
what a some thing or one has been doing to me.

I'm right, **** your label.
I've put every ******* thing on the ******* table.

I expected more than a fling,
thought we'd be a queen and a king.
Kingdom come.

Kingdom come

Come to me, deliver me from this rending force.
I'm hoarse, I'm hoarse, for my kingdom,
broken discourse.

Divine intervention, ******* unfair.
Benign intention, I said a prayer.
Bet some probably perceive this as weak,
I'd surely bet I have what you seek.

From inside the walls of the empire, within they conspire.
My growing ire, I'm no liar, this is hellfire.

It swells my chest, my veins in contortion.
Pressure unimaginable, evident emotional extortion.

As close as I may be to loathing,
I adore my dreams of betrothing.
I bequeath my person without a fight.
Sheath my sword, get a pen and write.

Emotions in check, I definitely won't crack.
Vilified, nah; visceral, yah; vision crystal clear, vicinal fear.

On the first try I'll get it right,
no plan B if it keeps you by my side.

When you listen you might be able to regard this as a hymn,
I'd like to try and be as touching as Johnnyswim.

Trust me when I say I tried to get it right.
My effort is absolute, certainly no substitute.

I ponder whether my feelings will ever cease.
By godly wonder, you're interest I'll warmly seize.

Then when we connect I hope time will freeze,
because just as he sat, I fear like Damocles.
Old stuff. Liked this girl once upon a time and then after a while she told me God whispered in her ear that I wasn't the right person for her. #cockblockedbyjesus
I was extremely upset though,  haha

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