A whisper
So faint
So near
It came right up next to my ear
It said come with me, I need to show you something
What do you have to show me? I ask

I stood at the edge
It was a dark beautiful waterfall

I was so amazed
come near. it whispered

I came closer
closer it said

I came so near that my ear almost touched the water
Then I noticed there was no sound of the waterfall

It whispered
A sound so faint and small
But what it said was loud
My worst nightmares and my darkest thoughts that were forcefully unfinished, they were whispered in my ear
Word for word I could not stop listening
It whispered welcome to immortality

That is my whisper of darkness

Your eyes
unbutton every button
unzip every zipper
unfasten every clasp
and tear through my soul
like a ravaging bull
hungry for a meal.

I'm sorry,
but I'm not meant to be
devoured...

when my fingers run over the
ivory keys
my heart beats
feel the staccato
riding over the little black sharps and flats
pounding pounding
little scared
fear fear
trembles trembles
in what music shall come
to the beating of the heart
the listening of the ear
what is there to come

when life becomes unbearable,
I coalesce into         nothing.
I kneel down  to     surrender,
my last ounce of   pride.
admitting defeat    to
God so I may         live.

There was a time, where nothing                                 Now, gratitude flows from
but resentments and fears                                             my heart into the
flowed through me.                                                        into the world.

I have known the hardness of                                       I know now that all I have
deep emptiness that swallows you whole,                 is today, this very moment
when wallowing in self-pity.                                         to be a channel of Love.

In each small moment
we can choose
life or death

sitting still long enough to be,
                                                one      ­of the hardest things to do for me.
i am lost when i start life    with     all the shoulda woulda couldas of my
                                                life,      b­ecause it shrouds my openness to this very moment.
i'm embracing my heart to be         free of the demons of my own making.
                                                whole  ­for the first time, I can't help erupting  with laughter at
the joy and sadness of it all.

life               broken  
        lived                  free
                   from                cages  
    
                   heart               break  
                  
                   collide             into
                              
                               silent
dreams

life is like jazz
                 sometimes all you can do
                                                          is improvise
                                      based on                            the template you know
                                                 doing the best                               you can
                                                 going with the                              flow                          of life.

musical notes                         blending
                                                                                                         into one,
                       sometimes      blaring into                                    cacophony               of sound.