i've
        been
                   chasing
                   oblivion
                                    all
                                         my
                                    life.
                   today i
                   realized
         i'm
free                        
       to  
           just        
                   be.  
                            all
                                ­  life
                                          
               ­                            is
                                     beautiful,
                                 i just need to
                             stop long enough to
                                  really  accept
               ­                           life.

i want to be
cool like
kerouac
                           bursting into a million
                           pieces with complete
                           abandon

oh jack.  
you were so wise
yet so lost in your
oblivion.
                                                                        i'm cool like kerouac
                                                                        lost in nostalgia for
                                                                        those aimless wandering
                                                                        years
not cool
cool
it's all the same
jack


                                on the road seeking a
                                new freedom
                                now that's cool
                                like far out zen cool
                                cool like ikkyu

.



silence

                                                   ­                                                                 ­                                                       so faraway
so near.

                                                          ­                            everything
                                                                ­                       in me
                                                                ­                       wants to
                                                                ­                       fill it up
                                                              ­                         with empty
                                                           ­                            noise.

but there are
brief glimpses
when i
can







                                                     ­                                   embrace
                                                                ­                        silence
                                                                ­                        and be
                                                              ­                          at peace.





                                        




.




­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                                          .

I was afraid of silence
The type of      silence  that felt heavy and oppressive.

The                  silence            before my father's fists would land on flesh.
      

But there's another type of  silence,                  one that is freeing.
The silence before laughter,                                silence that connects.
The silence that feels like the Great Void,        infinite and whole.
                                               silence that bridges all the
                                             fragments of pain and longing.
                                                        ­ silence before
                                                          ­  flowering
                                                     ­             of
                                                 ­              LOVE

i have been silent
words do not flow out of me
i am a steady stream of silence

              words spoken out of turn
              used to incite great reactive storms
              in the mind and body of my father
  
                             sometimes i am silent because of fear
                             but lately i am silent, because i speak
                             with my body and actions

                                         i no longer speak hollow words that **** life out
                                         words that lead to further disconnection
                                         today, when i speak  i choose words of connection

                                                                   little by little
                                                     peace
                                                                   grows in me

I would rather watch the sunset than the sunrise
You are so contrite in your words
So remorseful for the punishment inflicted
For I am not at fault for the pasts indecencies  or the nasty bearing of actions on your heart

But you-
You are to fault for the weight left cracking my bones-
The same damnations that haunt your decisions
Are left haunting in a shell of me

High hope-
Drowned by those I've never even known

(C) Tiffanie Noel Doro

I wrote a sonnet to the Sun
But it went up in flames.

I etched the ashes on your heart
But your cool blood froze over the remains.

Disintegrated words
Disgruntled author
Disjointed worlds.

SWEETHEART, do not love too long:
I loved long and long,
And grew to be out of fashion
Like an old song.
All through the years of our youth
Neither could have known
Their own thought from the other's,
We were so much at one.
But O, in a minute she changed --
O do not love too long,
Or you will grow out of fashion
Like an old song.

Great-room walls are molded,
Hearth fires have gone out long ago.
Love has left my heart in mold.

-M.H.-