Here I am, looking up causes for headaches
at 1 am
when I know it will always come back to you.
My hands found the bottom of the ocean
as I cleaned old movie tickets out of my car today.
I can see your honesty from here.
It took my composure on its way out the door.
I’m not bitter anymore.
I’m just tired.
And I’m tired of being so tired.
I’m sorry you didn’t stay.
I’m sorry that I apologize
for all the times you didn’t.
I keep forgetting these things
are not one-sided,
and so,
I’m sorry I gave you everything
for nothing in return.
You tasted like love,
and I was parched.
Still am.

And so the girl
Who only ever needed a friend
And a shoulder to cry on
Was left
And abandoned
Because she pushed them all
Away.

"I'll wait for you,"
when we were kids,
you had said.

But Jack's still comatose
and Jill is dead.

You never came.

A monster came out from under my bed,
all hairy and ugly and oh so red.
He ran to my closet and ate all my clothes
then back to my bed he was tickling my toes.
I was so afraid he might suddenly eat me,
There was nowhere to go where he couldn’t see.
He threw all my toys in a great big sack
And told me meanly they’d never be back.
Then he looked at my desk and suddenly smiled
And seemed to be happy or maybe beguiled.
He looked in my eyes and pointed at me,
“give me your laptop and I will let you be”
I loved my laptop a gift from my mom
I stared in his eyes feeling so dumb.
I was no longer scared now I was mad,
Monsters aren’t fun when they behave so bad.
So I took out my bat and put on my new shoes
and said to the monster, “guess what you lose”.
One swat on the noggin and he was out cold
I keep my toys because I was bold.
It pays to be brave and never have fear
But be careful at night when a monster is near.

HAPPY LATE HALLOWEEN
to my Grandaughters
Copyright Jan/2014
WHC

I give her my jacket knowing when she’s gone
It will still smell like her hugs

Putting my arm around her shoulders is more honest
Than when I raise my arm to the square

I don’t know where she is going in life
But I wouldn’t mind if it were the same place I was

The wind blows silently when she is speaking
Because even the flowers want to listen

If her smile were a disease, I would gladly infect myself
Especially if there were no vaccine

My chest is an air mattress when her head rests against it
I don’t mind when it deflates, brining her a little closer

Even in the winter I can smell fresh-cut grass
And it brings back memories I wish she were a part of

If I were made of mirror, when she looked at me
She might understand why I stare

I love her.
Maybe it's because I can't have her.
Maybe it's because he can.
Maybe it's because she's perfect.
Maybe it's because she's different.
Maybe it's because she gets me.
Maybe it's because I trust her more than anybody.
Maybe it's because I can always be myself around her.
Maybe it's because she's beautiful.
Maybe it's because I see real, true, impeccable beauty in her.
Maybe it's because talking to her, with her, aroud her, about her,
is an experience in itself.
Maybe, I love her.

it's 4:30 am
i've woken up from another
nightmare,
this one was different
from the others,
because it wasn't about losing
you.
it was about losing
*myself.

you're a shark






you are color blind
you perceive my movements
you make me bleed


but i'm not afraid


not anymore

Entrenched by Your enigmatic demeanor
I stand in utter bewilderment
As tropical winds caress my face
And mosquitoes serenade around me
Drawing blood for unsolicited company

Mesmerized by Your colossal vastitude
I sit in the sand, in sheer gratitude
As tiny rain drops moisten my face
And toads serenade in the distance
Croaking aloud an undesired masterpiece

Encompassed by Your endearing cognizance
I retreat to my hut in abysmal surrender
As I scratch from itching bites all over
And crave Your celestial affection
Bowing, I join them; to worship You!

© Raphael Uzor