When Will My Recovery Process End?
When Will Drugs Erase Completely Out of My Mind.
When Will Temptation stop
When Will i Stop Talking about it
When will i Stop.Writing about it
When Will i Stop Seeing it As the Solution To my problems
When Will i Stop
When Will I Stop Wanting it
When Will i Stop missing How it feels to be high.
When Will i Stop Having this bit of love i still carry.

I Have Relapsed So Many Times
Lied About My Sobriety All the Time.
Been to Many Programs.
My Life Sober
Is Difficult.
My Parents Don't trust Me
I Can't Go out on my own
I Can't be left alone
I can't go to regular school
I can't have friends
I have no more friends
I can't hold money
My Boyfriend & Folks
Always Doubt me.
I get accused of using when i hadn't done nothing.
I Feel So Alone
I Feel Trapped, i Don't Have Fun
Im Hardly ever happy.
People are always on my case
Im Always being reminded not to use
I have to work for my things
I Have to Work For Happiness
I have to build  relationships
I Became negative
I Deal with mood swings
I Deal With Temptation
I Get Sad Alot.
My Life is so plain & boring
I Have To catch up on alot
I Miss Crystal ****
It Makes Me Happy & Love Myself
It Makes Me Me Feel loved
Never makes me sad
Is always there for me
My quick fix to my problems
I Don't Deal with Anything
Its What i need, To Live My Life.
It Avoids me From b.s
It keeps me company all the time never has me feeling lonely.
I love Living Intoxicated.
But i Know its all
Illusions and bad for me
But i don't care.
Sorry.

" Your Life Will Be So Much and Get Better, You Will Feel Good, You Will Enjoy Things if You Drop Your Drugs."
Im Sober, i Hate it.
I Don't See Nothing Good About it.
I Don't Feel Good, i See Nothing better.
Everything just Got worse.
Im Miserable, Sad, Depressed.
Sometimes i Regret Quitting.
When i Would Get High
My Only Struggle Was To Not comedown.
Now That im Sober i Deal With So Much ****.
I Argue More Then When i Would use.
I Have So many responsibilities
I Stress So Much, get frustrated
Im Not Happy At All
I Don't Have Fun
Etc
To Me
Being High is My Sober
I Don't Care About Anything
I Don't Deal With Anything
I Feel Nothing
Im In My own world that is wonderful.
Better than my life now.
Id Rather Be Addicted
Than Clean.
To Be Honest, i Hate the real world

Days Like These
Where im Alone, Thinking Deep
& Heavily.
I Feel Like i Have Nobody.
No One Seems To Understand Me.
Nobody ****** Gets Me.
I Dont Care About Happiness Anymore.
Im Done Trying To Find Reasons To Smile And Feel Happy For
My Whole Life is A Fail
My Relationship Isnt No Where Near How Books And Movies Tell.
I Have Nothing Going Good for Me.
I Don't Want Help From Anyone Anymore.
Im Not Going To Speak Up About My Thoughts Or if im Doing Well.
If People Walk Out Of My Life
Then Owell
Im Starting To Careless & Less
I Don't Look Forward Towards Anything.
I Don't Know What Els To Write literally **** Everything.

I Feel Happy
Excited, Joyful, Energetic
I Feel Sad
Hopeless, Worthless, Useless
I Feel Mad
Angry, Hate, Violent
I Feel Nothing
Emotionless, Empty, Numb
I Feel All These At Once
All Mixed Together
Within Some Minutes Or Hours
They Change Without Me Wanting Them Too.
I Have Depression, I Am BiPolar
Im Also A Recovering
**** Addict
I Dont Like Dealing With All Of This
Its So Confusing
Frustrates Me
Makes My Life Complicated
Affects My Daily Living.
I Often Ask
Is My Life Worth Living?
Why Do i Have to Go Through All Of This, Why Can't I Just Enjoy Life Normally
Why Me?
:(

If iTs Not 1 Thing, iTs Another.
From A Bad Habit
To Another.
Both Solutions To Escape.
To Cope.
To Feel Better.
Self Harm Or Substance Abuse.
A Razor Blade
Or A Needle
Both Aiming For A Vein.
Suicide Or Overdose.
Which i Prefer Both.
I Wish i Never Turned To These.
Around The Time
It Was All That Was There For Me.
Seeing My Self
Turn To This
Make Me Feel worse
Such A Sad Thing
To Be Placed In Those Positions
Believing Thats
What Only Works.
Im ****** Up Mentality
The **** i Do
Make My Own Self Call Me Crazy.
I Just Want To
Be Happy.
Not Fake It
When Behind The Mask
I Feel Like Dieing.
Nobody Will Ever Understand How Deep My Pain is.
I Hate This.

Im Struggling So Much
And Im Doing nothing But Let Me
If Anything Add Things.
This Depression Takes Affect On Me So Much
That i Don't Think People See
How Its Very Sadning
People Around Me Are Most Likely Used To My Same ****
Negative Talking.
That They Feel iTs An Okay Thing Since im Always
Singing The Same Old Song.
It Hurts Me Alot
I Dont Like Feeling Sad All The Time
Feeling Like i Have No Worth
Not Having Motivation
Feeling Useless
Especially When i Dont Have Any Reasons To Actually Even
Think Like This.
My Mind Makes Me Think So Low
Without Actual Reasoning
I Feed into it
Then Start believing it
Feeling Like Theres No Point in Living.
What Depression Leads Me To
Are Suicidal Thoughts
Especially When im Over thinking.
Just For The Littlest ****
Id Want To Cut A Vein.
Isnt That Dumb And Insane?
Thats How Bad Having it is.
How Hard its living Daily Like This.
I Don't Want To Continue
Surrounded By The Only Option Of Killing My Self.
For Others it Sounds So Stupid
Only if They Knew How ******* Bad And hurtful it is To Thinking This Way,

I Tend To Always Want
To Walk Away
From Every Type Of Conflict.
Instead Of Staying
And Trying To See What We Can Work With.
I Give Up To Easily
& Feel if i Remove My Self
There Life Can Become Better.
i Make Myself. Suffer,
Just To Let Them Go So They Can Find A New Path
To Go Threw.
While inside Me
I Never Want To Set Them Free
But if They Stay
I Know im The One Who Just Dosnt Seem To understand
Or cooperate
With so many issues
floating in my head.

I'm Feining For A Dose of
Methamphetamine.
I Know I Have successful  Sobriety Days.
But My Thoughts Are Overwhelming Me Heavily.
And What Best Knowing iCan Take A Hit And Forget Everything. I'm Feeling So Low,
Drowning My Self in Guilt And Sorrow. Yes I Know Its Effects Arnt Forever lasting .
But My Heads pounding iJust Want To Feel The **** Flow Blast in.
How Long? How Strong?
Will I Give in or Will Reality Kick quick Which Do You Predict?
Scan Through My History,
Sadning Because My Minds Weak And Would Rather Tweak
Than Go Through it how I'm Supposed to.
Wouldn't Be The First time,
More Like it's the only option
I tend to want to see.
Because of what it brings,
An Easy Solution That will have me Loving its fascinating Pollution.
Deep in me I really don't want to abuse this,
But When I Feel So hopeless
My Mind blinds me on purpose
to reach the Dope Switch
And instantly want to turn to the substance
and use to get high to cope with.

When iDont Seek iT
iT Seeks Me
Now That iDont Want iT
iT Finds Ways
Finds Ways To Make iTs Way
To Convince Me
To Say Yes Once Again
But im Strong
iKnow iM Not, But if i Try To believe
Maybe itl bleed through
That i Can Beat iT.
Sobriety

Sunshine
Smile Lovely, Love Kindly
Appreciate Your Surroundings And Take Advantage
Of The Help And support your
Being Provided
Just Like You'd Bust A Sweat To Pick Up, Risk and do thrill things
You Should be
Able To Accomplish Positive Things Quick
With That Same Effort And energy You'd Put in.
iCan Do iT. iCan Be Positive And Overcome Every Fear and stop my negative actions.
Time to be sincere.

iWanna Run Away
For Bad.
iM Sad And iFeel Hopeless
The Only Thing That iFeel iCan Truly Feel Worth iT
is Dope.
iWanna Take A Hit.
iKnow il Feel Happy
Just if iGet Lit
iWanna Twist Just One last Time
Yes A Relapse
Thatll il risk
iKnow The Consequences
But this is it
iKnow il lose Everything once again but idk iF iHave Enough Heart
iLove, But Not Like iUsed to
This substance is
Powerful
Itll Take over
Its sour
iWanna use
And im getting closer to the point were i dont care if i lose...