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 Oct 2016
Butch Decatoria
Does  not need to be neither
whether dark,
milk, white or
Andes' mint greener
they all are pleasant
in feature
like

smooth footsteps upon the tongue

plush / sweet :
                      puppy-love puddin'

the suckle way it melts
dissolving
like velvet quilts down the throat

palate-warm
exaltations' high
like dolphin skin / leaps in sun light

then the
spider feet / goose-flesh
endorphin chill of skin
after such a chess game - consumption
bemoan a second piece
hugs & kisses again & again


all the while,
chin, cheer
ear-to-ear
smile

no nuts /  caramel / nougat
just a valentine peace
so pure in promise

a pip / of inner profanity
a lift from life's lemon-sanity

a silent ****** in the lungs

Smooth footsteps upon the tongue...


Chocolate.
 Oct 2016
Butch Decatoria
(It is like...)

. . .  a brief farewell
dismissive and brusque;

the outdoors as grey and as serious
as nature is without mercy

. . .

we sit across from
one
another
demure & remiss of words

as time between
colorless
bleeds

the Colosus
of our silence / becoming
a book
we master to read...
 Oct 2016
Butch Decatoria
Downey skin so white
like a cold glass of fresh milk.
Unwrapping Christmas.
 Oct 2016
Butch Decatoria
Schrodinger's Cat neither waits
nor happenstance bothers to care
for whom so ever chances by
the box - betwix' the here and there now
nowhere / no one to bow
down, or dare say...
(it's a trap to make you mad)

the mind's eye now patiently indifferent,
only wonders
at the ripples of much ado's
(inside our snow globe of true blue,
of real world blunders
dans le'mer)...
The storms are our own burdens
because man can't pick up after themselves,
can't seem to even share...

And every turn of a passerby,
another student guide & gurl & guy
each unique in totality--each a world
unto themselves--curious will also die,
whether the answer is gleaned
in the blink of an eye
or enlightened gates may appear
the question still in flux,
flummox of empty airs
yet was always supposedly
within, divinely
pondering
"who am I now here?"

Not when or why or how
should we question or make belief
reality...
for the dreamer is a genie asking
for all the wishes
or one for himself
to make,

when the storm on the ocean waves
will ask in turn,
do you always prepare yourself
with lies and mistakes?
to seek the unknown with mind
un-awake??


If its a paradox to look beyond
and question time or God,
then it will be lightning for our own enlightening
which will strike unworthy mud,
back to whence it should
if you open a box which is known
to ****, our will, and could
even fearless men
have died and have never since
felt fulfillment
or some peace
of heaven ... (it's all good)

Because everyone mortal or matter
of flesh - of fact - of time - being less
bleeding thinking to outwit
the vastness of oceans
to claim the ultimate prize...
know now where you stand
since everyone dies

but who has truly lived
worthy of a sky, a moment
skipping a beat,
opens the eyes with awe
a heart feeling exuding heat...

Where is the wonder?
Wasting all time,
thought experiment--riddles and mimes
making of nothing
walls in our minds...

Ask no more stupid questions
you know the answers to
or answers no problems
to better the world
ill from all men do,

because I am
as you are
as we all are miraculously
here

I am both
We are One
Paradox and Perfection
in oceans of tears,
and so goes the question

"What's going on?
There's so much crap,
just stop the bull ...
or get out of the way"


Schrodinger and his cat
(can go **** themselves
in hell / in limbo
the exact moment the choice
is hypothetically made)

Why ask if ... or dare should say...

I'd rather look for Tomorrow
and no answers
but the brilliant Life,
for a better day.
Because I know (Love)
and believe in truth.

Peace. &. Namaste.

*(I bow to the divine in you)
 Oct 2016
Butch Decatoria
To be without you

Means nothing to want

Attention.

Seems I'm jaded...

My eyes are Abyssinian

Searching for red laser

Point

On the walls,

On pedestrian faces,

And none will ever

Ever do.

But to be without you

Means I am

Nothing.   Wanting  

Attention

Nothing     Wanting

You.

Are you in them rivers

In these herds?

These lakes of

                     Lips

Kissing the silence of melancholy?

Means nothing

To want

Your poetry

Feeling much much more

Than

Pedestrian.
 Oct 2016
Butch Decatoria
What breath in this chest I take
Take like the night at Dawn's wake
Wake as eyes must at our birth
Birth and pulse of a Heart's worth...

What shame I now must hold and own
Own as ball to chain, as flesh to bone
Bone deep to have been wrongly had
Had like used knick-knacks, paddy-whacked...

And yet, what colors made a learned soul
Soul as bright as faithful to All who's Whole
Whole of the infinite universe made absolute
Absolute to know my love blind and my hate mute

No one to speak to, no words for proof
Proof of life pursuant to heaven's roof
Roof without rooms for an emperor
Emperor, what am I but a seed to the conifer?

What am I to him, who dresses his sons in gossamer?
SONNET LOOP POEM. Combine the formula for a sonnet with a loop poem... This is a first attempt, maybe the first of its kind ever. Not a quantum loop, still an original. (Who the heck is Hellon anyway?) now what d'ya think...? discuss...
 Oct 2016
Butch Decatoria
i happened Free-Zone
not to hunt
for coercion or collision
i came to begin
again, without a diet of another
no one to occupy
just myself tonight to slight
yet in the euthenics
of smokers in their alcoholic snares,
in the hotch potch laughter
of girth-guised relics
i notice you
sang-froid solution
against the shriven wall
your own tempered poison in hand
eyes teaching me
how to thaw my disregard
lips in a cruising smile
specific for my purchase
but i was here to forget
the imbrications of lies
the past life
of being bitten


still notice you noticing me
grant no one contours
contiguous to friendship,
not now
on a night of nursing
nut-hatched hurts
when i'm not searching,
i came to drown in drink
with archives of broken vows
new porcelain hearts break
each crack - a lie
each bruise and tear
cut like each cackling
of frozen, deceptive hosts
whom i allowed
assuage
my time a home


tonight i'm learned
my turn
to snick and sneer
my turn to steer the wheel...

they all want me, here
yet you are there:
smooth warning, cool leaning
against the shriven wall
solid notions of promise
which warrants a platform
and so i found myself
migrating toward self
compromise.


i happened to you, then
in your nascent nape
and in my moment of molten need
i genuflect

in prayer
for more than persuasive phantasms
rather overlapping warmth
over joyed
in the beauty of great duration
over that thing most token
defined by trusting
the truths of this emotion
but not too often spoken:
       too early to call it
       a thing
but you happened
to open my wings


L

O

V

E
 Oct 2016
Butch Decatoria
The impetus
Of being
      Always on the run
               Through pinwheel eyes
                              Those standing by
                                          The mystic roadway

                                     River

Blues yet to be brushed
                           or in blush
                           Of evening chill's breathing
a canvas like windows dreaming felt

All mindful
And chockful O'
                          Wonder
Then ponder
           Yonder "window breaks"
                         Past the wilderness' sleep
Bone heavy wood
                             Umber earth

         Past the rush of liquid

Folding in itself / as a soundtrack
                         Listen
      Pedestrian be
Mindful
                   of the cautionary whales
                                                  Ahab's yell
                                  Obsessions
                           Fears
                      Or loathing

One's drowning in one's sleep

Look wildly widely
                              Blithely
                                    Down river
                     Or up there beyond finger's point
                                   Sidewinder snake journeys
                                                  Until sky and below it
                             All meet
The distance

Now only a line
                      Coalescing what is beyond        
   Our ability to see

               Far and away
Evanescent
       Effervescent
                Ever after      
                             River. Life.
Do not leave...

And
here
               We are now
                            The spirit fluent
With the rapid rivers loud
                            Always on the run

Currents like a child's curiosity ...

When or why does it end
                Where do we go?
                    
Like most things existing,
                              Will lead to the high art / love's deep oceans
           We often forget to seek
And mind
                                     the sublimations ...
                                                            d­riftwood.

Begin with a dot, a line
                     A speck of dusk
                     A burst of light
                                        A starry sky,
pieces to mastery
                   Raging fragility of water
Liquid undulations  
                    Folding itself in / volumes
Or falling from on high
                    A droplet cry
Then lightning
                   (crash or bloom)
From the heavens
                                       like electric rivers
So brilliantly
                   Festoons

Where do we go
       There and here / underfoot
                   Over north / southern sleep
                                To oceans twilight deep
Go wrapped or map-less
Or no
            Up yonder
There up there
                       Everywhere
                                    All without fear

My heart like the river yearns
                 To go toward the sun
                       A flow / the beating drum
Always on the run...

And
           Yet
                   Still
                            Here.

                                                          ­                                             RIVER.
 Oct 2016
Butch Decatoria
The mechanics of body language

*** in it's sweet sweat shops

the subtlety:

         skins swiss-navy slick,

****-erotica's evolution - our rubbing

two fleshy sticks

"pill-poppin' easy" this is

                          *** is   a ******

                          a fish    to catch

                                      to release

in bed, in baths - unleashed

defeatist

without and with / in / doors

which revolve

the staccato silence then evolves

      to a symphonic sing-song of meat

a detached unfettered

feast

      from all hearts involved

many emotions unresolved

hatched

      from wratchet tight sheets

      satin security unmatched

yet melts away

with every faltering step

and constancy of fights for validity

      the normalcy of gay circuit weddings

            ******* like mutes

                      under the disco ball

with an open mouth - seal sounds

a chorus of barking for the sea...



Trust and casual conversations - is almost

to keep us stable or sane

no modivational lust

     tho' it speaks without shame

     out of turn

*** is easy, unmaned

         easy to blame

         easy like Kodak / to share, to play

like a multi-player game

hollywood square's celebrity fame

     a flame is our spirit's

     flagrante bane

tabloid worthy paparazzi mud



but Love, oh Love...



To know now love

consider me a deep pond

     an unmoving lilly

unhindered beautiful

love is wrought with fragility

and tinder...



Too much fire without water

can burn us to cinders.
 Oct 2016
Butch Decatoria
I find sleep quite amiable

less resistant

after touching timpani and tiger

prowls

the other wilderness

that is yours

and my undoing

after we have done did the climbing

second skins held close

with tender cooing

the miasma of life's (bowels)

howling

bowdlerizing

the sensations of our

everyday heaven

I find sleep more pliable

after a swim

in you

and I taste myself

in the salt of our comingling

skin

swathed in mouths

and prim

rose

fragrant waterfalls

thunderclouds

and rain

in the aftermath

of the climatic victory

within and about

our dance of skin

I am washed away

a tiny death

a cry to heaven

I am naked

when you're not clothed on me

how strange to need

you to swim

I find dreams much better

aloft

my second skin...
 Oct 2016
Butch Decatoria
THIRST


Oh hollow Thirst!  

How it drowns life's liquid scenes,

All trenchant memory now

dries the tongue;

When recollection swims with dire aches

In the stomach lingering

Deserts  

once oasis-providence:

              the ease of us

              sifting with the sand

Minutes limpid between caress

Creation our chalice overflows

Quenching in and each other

Love for water

As the hours go touching vastness'

That open us / our heaven's sky :

Illuminating in you

Both assuage and succor...

          But I am drought and man

          Flesh heavy / crawling through

         War's searing hills

         Chafed of what made me fearless . . .

         A Traveler discarding haste,

Still Thirsty for those palm trees’ shading moments

Still just pictures of bodies felt

and yet still feeling.


It is as though an affliction’s game

To wait

Between search and weaning

No swift elixir

I am just a bare tree leaning

praying for love's rain...


This Thirst is deeper than remembering

The drink that once was Us.


.  .  .  .

HUNGER

Halcyon: bathing in your adoration,

Nothing so sinful, or miniscule, as to need

Redemptive rinses and the spirit

When we were

As what we only knew how to be

Ourselves yet together sharing feasts


Which we lay out for each other

Ceremonious only through having its discovery

Knowing to trust in this (which is between us)

Oh How to feed the hunger I have longed for

Softer than the dew on skin

When we have the outdoors with our mischief

Attentive as the grass when we look within…



These eyes that pierce me now

Understanding / how my breath shivers

With the slight tips of tender fingers

Through a body famished and weakened,

Needing

The food from in between kiss and spark

On a smile that shares heaven’s glee

In each other’s sensations, feeling the answer

Rather than being told to eat



Reverie of wines tasted, the lifting of all things

To a memory, yet not having the full course

Of dining with serenity, finding that destiny

Has yet to begin

When love was the race I was questioning

Kind supposedly human

And dreams came true with happy endings?



Hunger can make the world seem cruel

When we give up on searching for meaning

We ourselves make

The feast from meals

with our believing …
 Oct 2016
Butch Decatoria
Am I oddly misshapen
By the cruelties of life's dross
It's last shavings

Am I the funhouse flavor of the week
The freak the crowd gawk
The audience pay to peek

How could someone as scarred
As myself has always been
Be as beautiful as the words

I bleed poetically

How could someone such as me
Be as legend as mythic
As Shakespearean and as lovely

They will wrench their eyes
At any blossoming or
Palm their ears to keep from witnessing

From nothing else to grieve
Nothing else but my flowered dreams
To be seen from words

Love is light
To darkness is obscene...

If similar are we
Life of true effervescents
Beautifully -- the written spoken soul

Fragrantly
Eternally
From the heart's ocean width
Completes

While an ugly cage is made
World of blind conditioning
Aimlessly

We must search for
Mystically
The beloved
Here Abouts and
There on high

Your children of life
Admonishing
Lovingly
                                  To Thee
Universe and sky

Oh my Love
You are all
                                    poetry...

*(even an ugly tree as me
   Cannot deny the rain when it falls
   And in the same
   Instance
   Quenchingly - I swim in
The drink of great awe

You're Infinite / Love)
 Oct 2016
Butch Decatoria
Curiosity was killing cats
especially when Prohibition says
that cats ain't gon' scratch...?
Uh huh, feverish she is.
Now Ms. kitty is on
the tin roof
On fire!
Itchy's whining, scratchy's moaning
Howling
at the full moon's
reflection on the
Mississippi,
**** thirsty for
some Drank!
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