I woke up kinda early this morning,
the sun peeking through my windows,
so happy and bright,
I'm always so grateful to see that lovely little morning light

I'm just not feeling that tired,
that's OK,
I SHOULD get up,
so I shuffle around,
as I'm really fatigued,
even though I'm not feeling that tired.
I crawl in and out of bed like 6 or 7 times,
too cold, too cold,
trying!!!

I don't want to cook anything,
nope
I want to go to the store,
get something to eat,
and drink
cuz see I don't even want to make it,
not even coffee.... ahhhh the smell

I'm not a lazy chef,
or person at all,
I would normally cook for myself,
and EVERYONE else too,

So I do,
I walk one block,
to the store,
about,
but it's really cold,
so I'm more than shuffling!

Let's do this thing,
as I walk to the store I say in my head.

And thinking how I passed a few people smiling with my hands tucked in my wool jacket.
Brrrrrrr ...
Once inside and shaking off the cold,
I head to the coffee bar emmmm.
I get myself a coffee,
I add a little cream,
a tiny sprinkle of sugar,
they have the good kind here,
and it's pretty cheap too,
so worthwhile,
because the coffee is really good.

I look over and I see the cutest
two elderly people,
I've ever seen,
he has a walker and,
he's really about five feet two,
she's probably a little shorter than that.

Talk about return to innocence,
I love old people!
It won't be too long before I call myself truly old!
He looks at me as if not sure,
whether he should smile until,
I do a nice bright one,
I say good morning!
I don't know this man,
but he says good morning to me,
so cheerfully,
and his wife starts talking,
and I say yes it's so cold,
freezing out there ain't it?
Yut replied,
But it sure is good for your health,
and everything a great way to start the day, get out and do it!

Yeah right,
I'da been dead a long time ago if I didn't! she says,
The little man has some money,
all laid out and I reach,
for the cream and his wife say,
watch your money,
curiously,

And I say oh don't worry I won't take it on ya!
She says oh no I believe you I believe you!
It must be a Vermont thang!
The little old man says,
I'm going to buy your coffee!!!

I am just floored,
I don't look like I need free coffee do I?
and I tell him I have plenty of money sir,

Really maybe there's someone who needs it more here?
But he insists and paid for my coffee,
we didn't speak another word except when I said thank you so very kindly,. and I told him,
that I would pay it forward,
when things are dismal and dark,
when you can't see even the tiniest Spark maybe look for it in the kindness of strangers.

Cherie Nolan © 2016

I split open
        right down
the center of
   my lit-up blue
                of throat,
gutterally lush
        into deep green
tumbled brush
forest heartwave
zipping straight
between the sloping
landscapes of *******
as the heavens
          take me in,
                temper my
weathered blasts
of tempest
that have thrown me back
unto the wall of ether
Impacting through
the fibers of time and
spatial relativity,
the poisoned burns
along my spinal chord
                   crackle
with the scent of sage
and a
savory-flavored wisdom
of a more enlightened age
Yes, the time
for cleansing has come
and, as electricity
trips off my energetic crown
I can only see hazy
                         ribbons of
                   purple light        
          becoming
       one large
             sea of dreams
                        fully expanded
It is time
for visionquest and
I must make ready,
arms taking in the world
preparing for
silent battle
wordless in whisperings
yet ready to howl
           
I sit back on
my haunches
eyes on lookout
heart alight
in licks of green fire
my weapons hidden
my eyes that of a child
ever soft, pliable
ready for all to happen
and I must gather
my own children 'round
like a she-wolf
surround them with the
            timeless protection
                          of my breath
               as ancient spells
re-alight in the sparks
and a wispiness, like smoke
envelopes my being
By daybreak,  
         my old soul
will align
and dance with
           all the new
        I can
possibly
muster
or even
       think
to  
     bear

Finally . . .
I sit in the midst of silence . . .
and silence resides in the midst
of me

I strain to hear
the nothingness . . .
and it comes over
so clear

All promises lay asleep
in their coffins . . .
covered in stone and time

This empty blackness
comes complete . . . stealing whatever sanity there is left in me

Here in my equilibrium there
are no days or weeks . . . just the certainly that no one speaks

Come hungry darkness . . .never to be satisfied . . . for you swallow eternity
still there is nothing inside

The indifference of silence
bends over to kiss me . . .
cold blackened lips whispering
"There is no certainty."

I am but willing prey to the wiles of the full grown moon.
She guards the night sky...
While I patrol these grounds...
Grieving over the seconds that have gone too soon.

I am a vessel... all emptied and barren.
what once was full,
now echoes faint
the glories of yesteryears.
Afloat still, adrift upon the currents... aimless and sullen.

I am a ghost... haunting no one but my own.
Immortalised...
Anchored...
to a body of mist and haze...
Occupying this space where worthy wind had once blown...

I am a beggar offering nothing but my open palms.
Hope etched tight
into my knackered knuckles
and calloused digits.
Please... take them in yours...
soothe them...
grant me your touch, your coveted balm.

I always thought making lasagna,
is like a religious experience for me.

And it is I mean,
it's always different depending,
on what I have,
for meat or no meat,
and vegetables,
and cheeses,

You can use cream cheese,
gruyere and cheddar believe it or not,
definitely need mozzarella though,
haha,

All those epic lasagnas I've made,
geez,
amazing what I've learned,
NO failures, ever,
and so many lessons in leftovers,
appreciating the depth of flavors
the gifts of the day,
and those yummy memories,
emmmm, boy.

When you can pause,
a -second-
to appreciate the
finer things in life,
like this here leftover lasagna.

It might be what makes you a good chef,
I don't know,

But it sure is better next day.

Cherie Nolan © 2016