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 Jul 2014
Jack R Fehlmann
These are for You,
My works through it seems
framed,  on the wall, smiling
What to do about without me moments passed make up life
Deep, like the hours in a day
That we had, we did, before
As it has, it will cycling,
continuous, predictable as all but
our last breath,  to ashes then
if I cared, goodbyes
if I worried,  I'm sorry's
If given the chance,  i might linger
To catch final glimpses
Reflecting, on all the right things
To forgive myself,  my follies
Then let my shell feed the earth,
as life,  and love,  and time go on
So too will those that will without
If they feel lessened,  disheartened
Then talk so i may listen
What to do about without,  
Remember, talk,  go on living
They watch,  they listen.
 Jul 2014
Jack R Fehlmann
only goes it's one way
only goes,.. only goes,..
so pointless the routine

only goes,.. Only goes,..
never wanders, only goes,..
never strays,.. pointless,..

Only goes...
Going... always going,.. Away.
towards something,

only goes,..

Until it breaks...
This pointless thing...

never knows,..

What is waiting,..
Never goes, away,..

Never coming,..

only knows, it is not okay...
only knows, there is an end...

and the routine,...

Only knows,.. of not knowing,..
going only the one way...

until only one day,..

Only the end...
And then going

"Only going"
By:(jfehlmann
 Jul 2014
Jack R Fehlmann
words are tools
some are blind
off guard and unready
caught in unwavering
beautiful green eyes
sunshine smiles
willing they, the fools
visually taken by you
as lovely as you are
barter away my protection
believe the words
spoken from full and practiced lips
as my lust consumes
ability to recognise truth from fiction
what's mine is foreign
apparition of such belied intentions
as lovely as you are
take as few or leave none
interested in pleasing
forgetting my own
cause for you i care too greatly
to doubt the sincerity
care not when you lie
the world is a gift to those
amazing green eyes
 Jul 2014
Jack R Fehlmann
Breathe brought in, with it sickness
Cause enough, it can all crumble
two pieces, more, four exponential
Onto the ruined floor of morrows
There they get ground down finer
by the ones that through words like love around
So very, very off are the scenes
Of a life, of first tries, of smoking puddles
Far off now is that guy, that person,
just but now only a reminder of poor choices
And it can and will crumble
cracking and falling away, into voids
much like the need, and want of breathing
sitting so close to the smoke that rises
each breath feeding and igniting
Foolish are the eyes that believe and abuse
salty water, vinegar for the wine we waste
when all of life crumbles around you
and you find the endless, unlit labrynth
fed by bridges burnt down just after your crossing
until no exit, No route, No saviors are found
the sickness comes in shards that turn to puddles
and this then burns to smoke, and ruins
work in progress
 Jul 2014
Jack R Fehlmann
This life of sugar sweet hopes and dreams
blanketing, shading, betraying what hazards lay beneath
things like failure, ridicule, backstabbing, self loathing
real things that our padded quilts of denial never reveal
until you fall, or suddenly the blanket is pulled
and all together we forgot to want this.
 Jul 2014
Jack R Fehlmann
I can feel you watching
I hear your sins
I feel your eyes upon me
I can even sense your longing
Why don't you?
Come...
I can smell your scent,
Oh, and now...
I am wanting you
Oh, how you...
Seducing me,
trying to ****** you
You are just waiting
Why, don't you?
Come...
Why are you waiting
tell me,
Because I know nothing
You are special
The wetness,
Primal aching
Are you watching?
I want you,..
Watching
I want you,..
Hearing me
I want you...
Needing me
Bring me into you,
Why, don't you?
Come... bring me inside
When you want me
to be patient,
but aren't we impatient?
Practically begging
Why, don't you?
Like waiting
Who's waiting now?
Who's walking out?
Who's Unwilling now?
Who's drooling now?
Why don't you?
Walking out.
 Jul 2014
Jack R Fehlmann
Click!.. And enhance quickly there after
when puddles cracked and broken
melting, tingging the air with addiction
breathe it in deeply this my motivation
long lost and nearly forgotten
longed for, sought after, bartered and traded
the motivation and the woes we will cause
this time, day or night no longer matter
I fly, and believe again, and create and try
this time and every time before desire burned brightly
to be up again, to contribute, to create and try
seeing again reasons to want these things
busy doing all and everything it let's me
whatever this does gives me this time
 Jul 2014
S Smoothie
Stubborness was a trait defined acutely at your birth. Some rogue star endowing you with a will beyond my own. Till now. Each stagnant pause, each inaction is infact an action forging reactions upon me. Sealing a resolve upon my heart to forsake you. All that remains is the molten wax with the words inscrpited access denied. your new monker imbeded upon my skin. And it seeps darkly red in every corner displacing even the last hope. My heart star has faded.
And i dont care. Are you satisfied now?
Born under the same unlucky stars
 Jul 2014
Jack R Fehlmann
I think of days
just the best are yours

and when in the emptiness
of the nights without
the heart wants

Cannot, forget
when I think of your face
an ache feeds my pain
amazing, Green eyes twice
and three shades
missing,

your smile, never fading
remains, constant,

two shades,.. maybe,
I think, of the lies
and truths, mine hurt
light hits me,
a realization, and shame
on me, on the the way,

things are wronged
the fights,

right or half wrong...

the way her name
and the hurt
and what remains

is like a scar on the soul

I cant deny how she creates
an aching need

there is no control
i try, i do, i lose

I tried it all

maybe inside
i don't want to forget you.

The days,
And just the best were yours.
 Jul 2014
Jack R Fehlmann
I smile
because I am eager
To not disappoint
Because I don't fit
I Lie
I am a Liar
I say what is pleasant
Promises of tomorrow
Take the fall
Not because I'm a bad person
I'm thoughtful
Using little lies
White necessity
Like Everyone
using them When the truth
Like me, can hurt
instead I spare them
I'm so nice
I Lie
I am a Liar
I use the very same reason
for nobody but myself
most of the time
So I can hide it away
So fluent am I
In this art of deflection
Protecting the lesser parts of me
so selfish, so frightened
so embarrassed by my faults,
Short-comings, things I don't like
So I lie
I am a Liar
See me, I am perfection
So easily liked,
I am lovely, thoughtful, caring
Tell me from the lies?
I have lost the ability
Who am I?
I Lie,
I am a Liar,
Selfish, uncaring
Insecure and hiding my reasons
Concerned not, for others
Unless it's their judgements,
So I Lie,
to be, to fit, to please, to pretend
Who am I?
I won't answer that honestly
I Lie
I am a Liar,
I blend in beside them
 Jul 2014
Jack R Fehlmann
I have this dream...
   In which I am a wanderer

Dark streams,
   Of murky water
      Washing over...

No moon, nor stars
   Do force any boundary
      Eaten completely

Pitch Black, Empty
   The sky above

No means by which
   To measure this
      The endlessness of time

Here is only the cold
   Only the unforgiving
      Currents flowing

            Life’s murky waters

Endless, forever,
   pouring

Out of control
   Constantly pulling

            My head slips under

Tired of fighting
   I learn to let go

Sinking beneath ever more
   Towards darkness
      Inescapable abyss
         To unknowns below
      Into the resting place
   To life’s secret
The true meaning of it all

   Letting go, I give myself
      I am welcomed back home
From where we come
   we all will go,...
            Home.
 Jul 2014
Jack R Fehlmann
Upon imaginary wings,
Three beats beneath
Creation's favor
As lovely as You are
Truest green, your eyes,
Armoring
the secrets,
unique reasons
You smile, isn't for me
As lovely as I let you be
As lovely as I allow
Given wings,
You above, Me
Behind, beneath
Use these eyes for once
See what I can find
what needs belief
I believe because its you
you can be something
little or as grand
As I want from you
Someone pure
Unique to a world
offered up to you
your beautiful face
As I gaze up
to you, my new heaven
As lovely as I will never be.
 Jul 2014
Jack R Fehlmann
Is it the hardest part
the getting on with, or over
Laying bones to rest,
Forgiving barbed tongues
Or embracing well deserved sorrow
I know I for one held on
for so long, secretly hoping
waiting and denying new love
martyred by my loss
victimized and over guarded
afraid to realize what may come
foolish as at last I've opened up
that was the easiest,
the hardest part was believing
I could never do it.
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