I have beautiful nightmares still to this day of our times together.
I see her face, of which I do not like to recall but nevertheless, blindingly unforgettable.
Just the burning ashes and shadowy silhouettes that dance in the corridors of my mind between darkened doorways and buzzing lights.
No wind, growing still air and a stench of old sketch books and burning lighters.

Some things you wish you could forget, while others, you wish you could remember.

Feet lift off the ground
Feeling vibrations and infinite sound
Sense and lose thought within the pulse
Running through air, earth and fire
Recycled spirals
Bends

That
Which is the random
Which is all
Which is now and then
With and without
This

End of this beginning
Twist, introduce and suspend
The motive to move and to drive
Walking with shadow as friend
In this eternity which is the moment
Beginning to end

Is this how it feels
To know that you're dead?
Or is this the beginning
Of just another end?
I take my steps each morning
Surprised they're not my last.

-This path that I am taking-

So pragmatic, enigmatic, fantastic.
I've never had this before.

-o-0-o-
With my two eyes closed, the third sees beyond the edge of the horizon.
Keeping us within its sight, unopposed.
In the center of the energy, I experience an alternate path that has not been disclosed.
Unending, undivided.
You are not alone, this symphony plays for us both, and this Universe we interpret will provide it.
Keep digging, diving, deriving, speaking, seeing, hearing, feeling, believing, sensing.
Unrelenting, still unconditional, yet undeniable, so undefinable, and indescribable...
Yet Loving

Intrusive thoughts
Enamoring fiend
Amidst an enchanting euphoric rapture
my apotheosis complex washes away
like knives to my throat
in a deluge of familiar burning healing

How I crave to abdicate Self
Oh unrelinquishing,
(r)
                          e  lusive Soul;
       (c)
Abandoning me to languish
In this castigating material existence

Slowly
                                                  feeling
My faith wavering
Withering                                                        
                                                  to the point
of nihility

Layer by layer
Shed my illusions
Shatter my Ego
So maybe I'll realize
Real enlightenment

Because I stopped caring for humanity ages ago.

If misery loves company
How can even I feel lonely
Alone to my thoughts
In a crowd of my peers?
Just keep up appearances ;)

You all look so oblivious with boxes over your heads...

Obscurely I yearn to be lucid
But instead am welcomed
by livid disdain

I just want to watch the world burn
An inferno; more ****** to churn
for my every advance she spurned
don't object my grotesque romance
or squander it in a moment of happenstance;
rather, project a mental image by perchance
Of me pursuing an remembrance
of the past,
in the present; instead of looking forward
to the pen I wield in hand;
Dubiously proclaimed mightier than the sword

Standing alone in silence, on a cliff made of diamonds,
I look down at the world and see it for what it truly is.
The sick grow weary, children starve on the street,
the rich grow mighty, the poor continue to beg at their feet.
The world leaders continue to speak, filling the pockets of the elite,
with each drop of innocent blood, our humanity grows bleak.
All alone I watch in silence, as the innocent are slaughtered;
since the beginning of time, mankind has chosen to live in darkness, where they stay mesmerized day after day.

Holding hands with a child, I look deep into her eyes,
I see a beautiful creation, I see a magnificent light.
Then we rose into the heavens and joined the legion of innocent lives.
Standing alone in silence, I watch the diamonds in the sky.

My shattered soul is
Scattered throughout space and time
Infinite fractals -
Holographic pieces
Containing the Whole

I am stardust in a faraway galaxy
And the warming rays of the sun
The blade of grass on a meadow
Gently undulating in the breeze
The refreshing rain on an arid plane
And the tree that has seen it all
I am the mountain standing firm
In neutral observation
I am the waves on the water and
The teeming life within

I am the Sirian in human disguise
And the quantum of light -
A traveling photon shooting through
An ocean of emptiness
Heralding change

I see myself reflected
A thousand times
I read my words
In other poets’ poems and
Hear my song sung
By venerated voices
My hopes and dreams are
Imagined into reality
By actors calling themselves human
Unaware of their role on
The stage of life

I am the little girl
Scared to face the world
And the Amazon with eagle eyes
And heightened senses
Confident about my next move
The grandmother burdened
By a life of suffering
And the one crouching behind
The eyes of the beggar
Beholding the careless passerby
Who is
Oblivious of my existence

I am the ****** on the roof
The killer and the killed
The mother tenderly nursing my child
And the little boy lost in ecstasy
When I see the ocean
For the first time

I am the light
I am the dark
The poet and the poem
The muse of the painter
And the color on her brush
The blank canvas and
The piece of art
Everything and nothing
A paradox of the universe

So I am sending out
A magnetic pulse
Spreading love through all of existence
Thus calling my shattered pieces
Back to the
HEART


© Jasmine, Amsterdam, October 2013

Love is like a rose.
If you move to fast,
you will be stung.
If you move to slow,
it will wither away.