no, no, love,
tonight, we are going to become the monsters
we hid from when we were
small.
do not be polite, do not kiss softly,
make me bleed, make me vacant,

let’s release our demons.

Put you close to my heart
and tell you that you are
so ******* beautiful.
I want so badly
to kiss every inch
of your battle weary skin,
whispering sweet nothings
about how terrifyingly beautiful the jagged,
taunting lines are.

But I cannot bear to encourage this war.

You are beautiful because
you saw ugliness
and you saw pain,
yet your faith in the world,
or God, or humans,
or something,
made you stay and witness more
despite your own suffocating darkness.

But I will not encourage this war.

The faceless, jeering voices inside -
they are not real.
They will not win.
They are bullies in a pre-school courtyard.
It's hard to walk away but
eventually you learn to tune them out.
Their unworldly presence is not beautiful
so they take over your mind to compensate.

End this war.

The casualties canceled out any victory
the moment blood was first spilt.

Before I could connect the dots
They became like stars
And sat on your cheeks
Painting the universe with scars.
Taking me to a place
Where rain drops elate
And sun dries the fields
Where the great trees yield
Seeds of yesterday's blessings.
Do you know knuckles tighten
Tears swell and bloom,
And vessels seem to cringe
When your name,
Like a knife
Is thrown across the room.
I hate the sour taste of resent on my tongue,
And the emptiness of words
Like the songs never sung.
You, like a cloud, hang too low
Like last night when they pried
So I swallowed the tears to let it go,
Heavy with regret.
Each one of my bones has your initials etched
And probably my forehead too
Because everyone seems to draw a line between me and you
Thicker then it ever grew on your side of the fence.
The truth behind us is as simple as flames,
One always burns faster, and nothing's to blame
But it's 5 pm and my hands have moved on
To someone else's back
And you may hold her hair back for a moment on your bed
But she will never understand the
Mountains in your mind
Or try to climb to sunrise and understand the lies
Like I did one Sunday morning.
I hope she never loves you
Because you deserve nothing more then the sting of the sea you refuse to walk along with me.

so i sit here
with a hole in my foot
with a hole in my head
with a hole in this book
with the hole in her eyes
when she gave me that look
with the hole in my face
when i saw what he took
the hole in my heart
i still don't know the crook
paper is just too easy to tear
and you think i'm easy
when you see i've been shook
i think i need a hook

now there's a hole in my stomach
and it's feeling tight and queezy as she ties
me up in knots of my poor esophagus
her knuckles white from squeezing
i breathing like a snake trying to shed
the desert sun is hot so
please lift this mask up off my head
i try to offer a white flag
but she kills me instead
cause she doesn't like the things
that she can't understand

and so she holds her fists like
they have holes in them
holds me like there are holes in me
cavities of ample opportunity
for punishment and further tearing, no tears,
none of this teething willful jeer
i'll split and rewire, i don't need old fears

i am only tired at best
the pieces did not defy gravity
they fell right out of my ****** chest
but landing is a skill you see
tear me apart for free and be my guest
ripping down the wallpaper
wrestling with the messes of stresses
no one will unremember
looking for the emotions
you desperately want to render
but while i'm still soft
i'm no longer tender
so remember when you enter that
no matter what the temper of the sender
or persuasion of the vendor
i will not surrender
to all these social mind benders

there is a hole in my flag
my blood is an involuntary badge
no more flags, white stains
too easily

What It Is
That Has Me Flustered

What It Is
That Beats The Drum

What It Is
Has The Strength Of Many

But The Tinder Heart Of One

What It Is
That Gives Me Comfort

What It Is
That Brings Me Down

What It Is
Is What It Is

When No One Is Around

What It Is
Is At Face Value

What It Is
Reads Between The Lines

Silence Is The Sound It Makes

As What It Is
Makes The Sacrifice

What It Is
Begs To Differ

What It Is
Can Not Be Seen

What It Is
At This Very Moment

Is The Space Between You And Me

I'm trying to tell you a story
To let you know you're wrong
To tell you that you're beautiful
Whether or not you feel you belong

I'm trying to make you acknowledge
That, darling, you're perfect to me
The beauty in your heart
Is really all I see

Why so insecure?
When did you stop following your dreams?
Why don't you see your life
Is worth much more than it may seem?

I'm trying to end this story
Though there is much more to tell
So tell yourself the truth
And stop saying that you're well

*Just please, get well soon

Feed me to the arms if the sea.
The moon spoke as loud as your eyes
On a day like today
When even minutes are just minutes.
They spin like a circle
But the loops in my mind
Take me back to you
More often then not.
And the devil turned fish to stone
In a lake of ice
Beside a tear
On the cheek
Of someone who broke your heart
In sixth grade.
All directions point to you
Except the sign on the corner of my street.
Since the night you breathed into my lungs,
I can't seem to shake
The sound of your heart in my ear.
Did you forget, my love,
How special you are?
And I just want to know how you're doing
And I just want you to remember my name.

Slipping, always slipping into the night
I thought I had captured the sun
But in my hands I held the reflection

When I look at the moon, I feel someone looking back.  
He, something, knows how lonely I am.
I turn around; I cannot shake the sense
That standing
Just to my back
Was someone watching me watch the moon,
Helping me to hold you
In my heart.