I try to stay happy
Happy for them
I don’t want them to see my struggles
I don’t want them to hurt
Or to know the hurt i have
So i smile
Anything can be hidden behind a smile
Even the most hurt people can hide it
The hiding is from the smile
But the truth
The truth is in the eyes
Its always the eyes

Its okay to have fewer friends than others
Its okay to be yourself
I never knew that before
I wish i did
Its okay to love another woman
I know i do
Its okay to write your feelings
I know i do
But i do as no one listens
No one listens as i talk
I talk too much
Im too annoying
I never found them to be annoying
I sit there and listen
I hear all their problems
Their minor inconveniences
But as i make an attempt to tell mine
I talk too much
Thats why i write
Thats why i wrote the letters
Theres only one attempt left for me
I’ll be listening from the stars

They say kids need to get burnt
To learn not to put their hand in the fire
But i never did
Instead i built a tolerance
I saw how long i could keep it there
Before it felt too good
Before i felt things again
I need to feel things again sometimes

My body littered with scars,
Some do it to punish,
Some do it to feel something,
Anything.
It feels good to feel something,
Anything.
Some find ways to stop,
They never truly stop.
They need to feel something,
Anything.

I said id stop,
I tried.
I said i wouldn’t,
I tried.
I didn’t want to,
I apologised,
I tried.
I tried my hardest,
Its still not enough,
I tried.
Im sorry.