a perfect dance
within a timely rise & fall.
a conscious play,
within the nature of
the all supreme creation;
where destiny & desolation,
they merge.
-

these days,
im finding pleasure without touch.
im too far gone,
within.
-
they mock my world,
as if fairytales don't exist.

i still write about flowers blooming,
birds singing,
& sun-sets.
-
although lately,
i've been focused on expressions of threats;
like seeking trouble,
provoking monsters to come out & play with me.

at the sound of a click,
that is lighter releasing flame
to ignite my insane nature of psyche.
-
with the ground rolled up,
i keep searching for height
and i keep finding it...
-
though,
im afraid
ill lose my way
back down to earth.

oh me oh my.
what a daring request
to insist that
i
open my gates...
-
might i ask who you consider yourself?
how long have you travelled?
what gifts have you brought to lay at my feet?
-

for several years
i've written poems about
boys & men,
heart-breaks
and trends
and cries
of who's and why's.
-
notice a pattern in the way i spill words.
notice how i sway,
clumsily.
notice how i chase
the boys & men
that run from me.

my nerves wreck upon confronting,
i'd rather stand back
at the back of the room.
find me at the nearest exit,
off-setting the center of attention.
avoiding conversation with
dismissive head-nods
& wondering why i came...
-

we created monsters in the same space we found peace,
pretty neat.
-
fought demons then channeled high energy,
it's bittersweet.
-

sensual enough to make car ***
seem romantic enough
to lose my mind at the very touch of one button...
-
something about the words
"no one, but you"
makes my nature of possessive seem reasonable,
right?
-
never thought i'd be lurking,
lusting,
tempted to fall on my knees at your feet
so you can meet me at that place again...
can you make space again?
within my walls,
behind doors that still await your release.

i keep tripping over nothing,
i keep running to get nowhere.
i keep folding under pressure
and stares,
fumbling on words and
seeking cheers to go beneath me.
-
i keep finding myself,
i keep counting to 10
then tapping,
random clapping
then zen
and then present moment beings
to bring me gifts,
lifting me higher.

watch me open like spring-flower,
wide & vast
beyond display.
watch me close like metal doors
that shut you out,
and show no face.
know your place,
know your plays.
either way,
im on the rise.

end cycles at every end,
if you do it now,
you'll never have to do it again...
its promise.
-
downward flow,
upward flow,
most awkward sense of rhythm.
still balanced,
still universal laws,
still process,
still principle.

mind games played by the hands of self
teach me how
i am my own boulder caught still in my own way.