Starting well,
All as planned,
No surprises, no shocks,
Still I have a bad feeling about this.

A slight hint,
That something's not right,
But it doesn't matter too much,
Still I have a bad feeling about this.

Foundations tremble,
The first rocks falling,
Then landslide, disaster, outrage,
I had a bad feeling about this.

Another barrier gone
And finally, my lies can end,
For five days a week
And two afternoons
I can be comfortable,
Happy,
Safe in my skin,
I can sing and write
Of wings and dresses
Of being weak and loving it
Of looking in a mirror
And seeing me looking back
Free to dance and giggle
And look sweet, look cute,
Look pretty
And be unafraid
To feel pretty too
To smile at the world
With the giddy joy of a child
For this is my start,
This is my beginning,
I am May,
And I am a confident,
free, pretty and happy
Girl.

All laid out,
A shirt, a cardigan, a pair of jeans.
It's all been sorted,
The name, an explanation, a key.
Everything is ready,
Except me.

I was ready,
I planned for months, far too often.
I've waited so long,
Hoping for this day, and now it's here.
Everything is ready,
Except me.

I know it's fine,
Nothing will go wrong, I'm sure of it.
But still the doubt,
The fear never leaves, what if they hate?
Everything is ready,
Except me.

My arms shake,
Not cold, not shocked, paranoid.
But I close my eyes,
Breathe deep, empty my mind, and hear:
"Everything is ready,
Are you?"

Yes. It's time.

The sky is alight
Beauty flashes, falls and fades
Leaving only dust

Shade has a softer edge,
The sunlight can breathe smoothly
Along sepia streets
And gently persuade the dark away.

It will be the shadow's turn
In time, for now light's
Careful nudges
Push back for one more day.

With each climbing and Falling of the sun,
Its rays weaken and tire,
Leaving darkness to
Stay up in the mornings.

In my eye, the untainted beauty reflects upon -
- crack, crack, crack
A snapping through my skull,
Metal assaults metal
And clashes with any thoughts,
Cut off before they reach -
- crack, crack
It resonates in brutal disharmony,
Tension pulls on tensed
Muscles already on edge,
Eyes blink and unfocus,
Losing clarity with -
- crack...crack crack
I can't keep my -
- crack
Stop! All beauty gone from this -
- *crack, crack

Unrelenting joy radiates,
That smile never leaves,
He takes no notice of pain,
Just laughing again,
No fear of future,
In present, bright,
Any past mistakes
Disintegrate at will,
And in this cynical world,
He seems...naïve,
But our dismissal,
Makes no dent in his
Elated existence.

One foot in front of
The other trailing behind
Pace myself, keep on

The most beautiful season?
I think so,
Though others yearn
For crisp sheets of white
Remembering our footsteps
Or for the relief
Of clear skies and dry heat
Or for a shallow promise
Of new life that never quite
Lived up to its reputation.
Yes, who can fault the brilliance
Of fire-tinted trees?
Or the taste in the air
With that comforting bite?
And the way the sun sets
Taking its time to blaze the clouds
Into mellow haze.
Autumn, with her chill and dying,
Still glistens in my eyes.

In one day perhaps
All is changed
A renewal of hope
Meets with mixed mind
A confusion within
Becomes confusion without
Limits to hold back
But maybe there
Is nothing to hold
From view
But the shadow
They already see

A gentle haze
Trembling through branches
Trickling down with auburn leaves
And speckling the earth
With a lazy yellow
Piercing streams on the ground
Of tiring fire
Warming my blurring eyes

A scratching in the back of my throat
Closing off all attempts at apt tone
Burning behind my voice
Flames itching my tongue
And screaming at it to stop
So I close my mouth
To quench the blades