Antisocial dynamics filling my head
Formulated responses do little against
The brutality of missteps
The unfading of past errors
Mars the thought-strings I spun
And in the end tangle
And tie me to the wrong intention

The Actress steps out
To an audience of eyes
Making slow assessment
Staring at her, through her
Each subtlety of her motion
A tell-sign of her mind

So The Actress fills her mind
With foreign thoughts
Buries herself in research
And imagined feelings
That seep into her own
Until she is her part

And The Actress is no more
And actress but a puppet
Ambling through a cut-out of a life
Letting their eyes burrow deeper
But not deep enough to see
Her lying to them

But The Actress pays her price
For to lie that deeply
Requires honest belief in her own
Fictitious existence
And who she is ceases to be
In favour of a character

And as The Actress steps off stage
She is blind to her reality
And emptied of truth
For she carries the eyes with her
In her mind, in her reflection
Until she is no longer sure
She is an actress at all

Cut it out
Crying won't help at all
That feeling in your stomach won't go
Calm down
Don't let it take control
Breathe, you fool
Why are you so weak when the sun sets?
The shadows don't have to
Rule your heart
With tears

The broken days I left behind
Are paving my steps
And gently crunch beneath my new boots
Becoming as brief as the wind on my face
And as colder days come near
They will be hidden by mud and snow
And washed away with floods
But it won't stop them sticking in my mind
Or slowing my walk to a halt.

Stand and watch
As the leaves fall and crumble
As chill takes control

Stand and watch
As all around grow up
As everyone else moves on

Stand and watch
As the future streams past
As the dreams I had scream closer

Stand and watch
As I fall behind
Stand and watch

A shard on the wall
Of messy darkness
Soft-edged yet piercing
The perfect prison of my mind
It draws my eye despite
My futile attempts to distract
Away to other things
And wills me to
Open another hole
In my heart
Bleed another prayer
To let another ear hear
Though I know not
To whom I write
To let myself think
Of a fuzzy shadow on the wall
As something more important

A blank page
To fill with emptiness
To sing silence and streams
Of consciousness unending.

To take reality aside
And replace with infinity
In all its hellish
Endlessness

The words don't flow
They shouldn't
How can they with no goal?
Not even a shadow to aim for

But they drip onto
The blank page
And the white paper
Fades away.

The sands own you
You skin is at their call
The call rings in your ears
And stings your tongue
Listen; the pain is growing
Your thoughts are fading
Buried, are you?
Soon the sands will be yours.

Moronic feelings
Led me to this stage
Hyperlectric spotlights burning
Faces into brains
Unrejected homicide
Our side is up in flames
Unelected anarchists
Fell to their own games
Barbaric wreck-hugs
Weakened our domain
Undivided enemies unhated
Blame for bloodstains
Repulsive redefectives
Are all that will remain
But standing in the ashes
A martyred carved grave

Directed erasal
Water on hearts
Leader/Unleader
Science of Art
Oxygen wasted
Life torn apart
This. End. Is. Us. Now.

If I die then I die
Where’s the harm or fun in that?
If I fall I will fly
I inspire truth’s attack

I think you are beautiful
Your smile is radiant
And your eyes are beyond
My own descriptive ability

Your mind is exquisite
Like a finely crafted language
I lack the experience to
Understand but admire anyway

I rushed in and shot myself
Down into the depths of regret
Where now I hunt for some form
Of rewind, restart or retry

I'm far too jealous to express
In any meaningful way how I feel
And what was meant to be a joke
Has cut off all chance of honesty

And in the end I expect your eyes
Will pass over these words but
They will not reach your heart
And I will be left wondering
How to balance friendship,
Care and selfish longing without lying
To my heart.

The words came to me
Far too fast
Like I'd seen them before
In some book I'd grown up with
As if I wasn't writing
I was copying it down
And I wasn't composing
I was practicing a song
I already knew so well
I could rewrite it from
The echoes in my head

The winds tonight are screeching
As they scream past the pane
And I close my eyes to grip my wrist
And hide my face away

The dark tonight is closing
As its shadows fill my mind
And I whisper hateful nothings
To freeze my seized up spine

The breaths tonight are shallow
And grate against my ear
While the metal claws grip me
And satisfy my fear

Mesmerise, Memorise,
Broken eyes staring at me.
Tenderise, Slenderise,
My own eyes always hate me
Looking back, Reflecting back
The venom that runs on my skin.

These tears belong to me
You can’t take them from me yet
If I’m scratching at my skin
Then pain is what I get
Don’t cheat me out of hurting
Don’t save me from consequence
I made my own mistakes
So I’ll pay for my own scrapes

Would you help me?
Would you hold me?
Would you lift me up and be a saviour to me?

Would you listen?
Would you look away?
Would you help a stranger get up off the floor?

Would you hear me?
Would you love me?
Would you pray for me and restore my faith in hope?

I'm hungry and afraid
I'm thirsty and ashamed
Would you give me a reason to
Keep
On
Living?