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 Dec 2012 Cora Lee
-D
Ages ago I asked a dreamer
(A feeler and a magician, as well) 
What love looked like on the inside
When those who are in it cannot tell

If it's tough enough, strong enough, red enough
(And of course, to be honest, is it true)
So that, if possible, we can avoid any pain
And the mistakes and the whatifs, too.

He told me:
It appears like a rainforest drizzle,
Somewhat expected, though still a blessing,
And its term is always indiscernible
Though in its haze, we still dance and sing.

And I said:
And what of the broken hearts,
Those who thought what they held was good:
They felt true things, they saw true light,
But they lost it all in the woods. 

He said: 
What they had was worthy and fine,
Though it seemed to bring nothing but pain, 
For a shower can bring both cleansing and fire:
And we call it acid rain.

So I say:
Why question the love you are given?
Trying to name it, excuse it, or worse-
Instead, let it pass over you like a rainstorm,
Whether it floods, or if it's your first.

Breathe in the scent and inebriation,
Drown yourself in petrichor.
For when love hits you, it hits you hard,
And when it rains, it pours.
For both of you.
I dont know
Never really did
The pain, the stress
The hunger for the truth
Blinded me from knowing
Whats wrong with me

I say I hate
I say Im angry
But thats my escape route
To keep me from realizing
That deep down inside
Im really hurt

Could this be
Whats wrong with me
Could it be
That im not looking hard enough
Not truly searching for
What all could be my problems

Like a pillars foundation
I have flaws
Some easily fixed
Others more complicated
But I still dont know
Whats wrong with me

Could it be
That I was never loved
By the one person
Who gave me my breath
Or cared enough
To say goodbye when she left

Whats wrong with me
I cant love
Without questioning it
But when Im with you
I still doubt it
But not so much

When I say those words
It pains me
Because I never felt this way
And Im scared
That I wont be able
To protect you from even more pain

Whats wrong with me
All I do is push and push
Never letting people close
Ending up alone
Without anyone to turn to
Yet I still manage to live

Every second is unknown
Every breath is questionable
Yet I still dont know
Whats wrong with me
That even your smile
Still makes me feel even more alone

I know that maybe knowing
Whats wrong with me
Is far from my reach
But I will know in the end
Since I have more time
I will spend it knowing I will succeed

Look me in the eye
Tell me you love me
Tell me you will help me
To discover exactly
Whats wrong with me
Tell me I'll never be alone

My mother abandoned me
She was the first
Just not the last
So dont abandon me
When I need you even more
At this time of despair

I've been hurt by those
Who were suppose to love me
And those I thought I loved
But the emotions are real with you
So please don hurt me now
Hurt me when I've learned more

I know I may say
"I'll never hurt you"
But I know that at times
We hurt those we dont want to
So until I've learned
Whats wrong with me, support me

Hold me close to your eart
Build me up when I fold
Dry my tears when they come
I only have this one life
And half of it will be spent
Figuring out whats wrong with me

So maybe if the truth
To all her lies
Comes and meets my ears
Maybe then I can know
Whats wrong with me
And hopefully you'll be at my side

**** it I love you
Maybe I really dont care
Whats wrong with me
As long as I have you
It doesnt matter
The past is the past I have to let it go

But the pain will remain
The anger and the hatred toward her
It's who I am
I just cant let it ruin me
Or determine my future
The future I wish for you to be apart of

Maybe I've known
Whats wrong with me
I just never accepted it
So the truth
To whats wrong with me
Is that I bottle my emotions

No that cant be right
Maybe there is more than one thing
That is wrong with me
So I wont rest till I know
Every inch of my heart
And why is it that Im confused

Syptoms to my disorder
Confusion, extreme anger, pure hatred,
Boredom, tiredness, and love for you
So I got a broken heart
And you fixed some of it
But it dont tell me nything

Another day, another month
Maybe even another year
And I still wont know
Whats wrong with me
So in the end
I might as well give up on knowing

The truth to who I am
What I am
Why I am the way I am
Why I think morbid things
Will never truly ne mine
So Im just another John Doe

Whats wrong with me
I've never been optimistic
I can barely love you
Without thinking
Your going to wake up
And realize you deserve better
Long and old *** poem. My counselor told me to pour everything out so I did.
 Dec 2012 Cora Lee
Canaan Massie
I swear you're like the ocean,
A beauty on the surface,
Yet...
If I can dive deep enough,
I know that I will find,
A beauty that not many people will ever see.
 Dec 2012 Cora Lee
Mikaila
Shards
 Dec 2012 Cora Lee
Mikaila
There it is, the mirror sky, reflecting all that is beneath it and throwing it back upon itself like rain.

The flowers unfurl with alarming swiftness-delicate, they are, made of shadow and moonlight, flourishing in the dusk-and the tides rake the shore with desperate fingers, wrenched back from the land as the night pulls the day down under the water. The sun sinks crimson within the glass sea, cracking it, and it shatters into a million stars trapped inside a harsh black sky. The shore is littered with a desolate battlefield of broken shells, scarred bits of wood, rocks beaten into smoothness by the unforgiving water.


Where is the moon? There is no softness here. Hard lines, the world washed black and white, and such a stillness even in motion. The sky does not see a moon, and so the moon is gone-trapped with the sun beneath the black sea? The last shards of fiery gold and red have been swallowed by unnaturally silent waves.


Where is the life? Every creature is gone, hidden away. It is not the night that they fear, but the image of themselves reflected inside it. The world does not sleep; it waits, coiled like a spring, for whatever is coming. It is as if everything is holding its breath, silent and full of tension.


The sea isn’t alive like it should be anymore. It’s been tainted, poisoned. Why do the waves shine black and blue like a raven’s feather? Where are the whitecaps and the foam? No, this sea is smooth glass, flowing and morphing, licking cruelly at the shore. Cold as ice, but not frozen, it leaches the color from the world, drawing all the light into its frigid depths. Look down inside it and there is nothing but hard blackness, as if the water is solid now but still moving. The silence is perhaps the most terrifying. Wrong, for the world to move so fast and be so quiet. The clouds and the stars all move dizzyingly, racing across the sky, growing and changing before a real form can be discerned.


Now even the stars are going dark, falling one by one into the sea, a sad parody of rain. They are swallowed instantly, their cold lights extinguished until not one is left. For one long, silent moment, everything is dark. How long does a moment in utter despair last? A day, a year, a thousand? It is impossible to tell, with the unchanging quiet.



There it is, somewhere above, the mirror sky, reflecting itself. For that is all that’s left- darkness reflected in hallways and tunnels and funhouse mazes.


Until the moon slices through, and everything shatters. Shards of darkness fall and change, hitting the ground and seeping color into the soil. The waves crash upon the shore, released- still brutal, still cold, but free and deep cobalt blue under the golden moonlight. The wind sighs, the trees rustle, the grasses bend and sway with the whisk-whisk sound of silk on silk. Thunder and lightning roar and flash as the sky hurls itself into the sea in a torrent of bitter rain. The world is awake with a vengeance, and the moon reigns, full and golden and glorious, over the deep purples and soft blues of the night.
 Dec 2012 Cora Lee
Mikaila
Her
 Dec 2012 Cora Lee
Mikaila
Her
There is a type of perfect summer rainstorm that exorcises the heat from the ground in billows of mist and makes the world hazy.
The lightning sets the trees into relief and every so often a little light leaf will float to the ground.
The thunder rumbles, the sky crackles, and the clouds are leaden and low in the sky, brushing the treetops.
The rain makes it look like they are falling on you when you look up.
It catches in your eyelashes and strokes the side of your face with little rivulets of water, it plays in your hair and swirls around your ankles, a warm melody.
I met a girl once with eyes like a rainstorm.
Their steady gaze has never left me, for it felt like standing in one to meet it.
 Dec 2012 Cora Lee
Mikaila
Swan
 Dec 2012 Cora Lee
Mikaila
When I look at myself, I am not beautiful.
My feet are twisted and gnarled like the wood of an old tree.
My limbs are gangly and thin.
My eyes are too large,
My hair is too straight and too dark,
And my ******* are too small.
In the mirror each day, I cannot tell myself I am a radiant woman.
But when the music starts, I shine.

The notes hit me like rays of the setting sun, and every hue of grace and passion is splayed across
The folds of my dress,
The arch of my back,
The curve of my ankle,
The stretch of my throat.
Each harmony, each crest and fall of sound and feeling
Is a wave that breaks over me,
And I am lost.
I drown in emotion, in the distinct expression of self that only movement can allow,
And in that moment, I forget beauty.

I forget love and hatred and pain and joy, and as I forget I am freed.
I forget because they no longer belong to me.
I have given them to the melody,
To the dance which draws them out of me like venom-
The next move, fraught with the tension of 'goodbye forever',
The next turn, spun by the unraveling of my heart,
The next leap, lent weightless wings by the joy of a first kiss,
The next slow reach carved from the desperation of 'it's all my fault'.
As they leave me, they become me, crashing down on the audience I've also forgotten, burning the bright after-image of my soul into the shadows of theirs.

I have never seen myself beautiful.
I have never looked. I have forgotten to look.
For when the music hits me, it turns me in on myself, and I can see nothing but my own spirit- a shower white hot of sparks-
And the cascade of the notes in folds of velvet against my mind.

I have never seen beautiful, but I have felt it.
It feels like a smooth silk shoe and blisters on my feet,
It feels like the trickle of sweat along my brow and the stab of muscle cramps in my legs, and the scrape of hairpins and sequins.
It feels like breathlessness when the curtains open.
It feels like the worn wooden stage upon which my heart may bleed all it wants.
For it does, it gushes, and it is the ugliness of passion.
It is terrifying, it is raw, it is light-starved and beaten, it is all I have.
And when I get up on a stage, people call it beauty.
Inspired by the painting by Andrew Atroshenko. (this one http://www.artatyourdoor.com/site/wp-content/uploads/andrew-atroshenko-ballerina.jpg)

— The End —