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Clovina Feb 2018
Today,
     We have people who live,
Who fight to live
Who fight to die


Today,
     With the eyes that I see
The truth that I see
The more corrupt...
     Is our state of the free...


This,
     Stems from the individual roots of society

You See...
     The Truth Is;
Airports see more sincere kisses than wedding halls
Hospitals hear more prayers than churches' walls


And Yet...
                         We.
                                                   Still.
                                          ­                                       Fall...


Not As a Group...
     But One by One...
          Consumed by Greed
               With Our Hands on a Knife
With Our Hands by a Gun


"To Be or Not To Be"
     A(n) (In)famous line from Shakespearean Poetry...
**** or be FREED...
     From the torment within our society....

With our hands on the trigger
     The noose, the pills

With our final words spoken,
     Written in wills...

Media's Influence,
     Over Suicidal Kills,

Where Nameless Graves End Up
     Over Endless Hills...

This is the Legacy
     Our future generations will see...


We say,
    "Give our children a better future!"
"Give our children a better world!"
"It's our responsibility to teach the drills!"

WHY DON'T WE JUST HAND THEM THE DEBTS, THE BILLS!?

Because as far as I see...
     There's no need for you or me...

Have you ever
Looked at our hands
From each broken vein
To the ****** sands

Have you ever
Looked at our hands
Soaked to the bones
Drenched in demands

Have you ever
Looked at their hands
So small and delicate
Still TRYING to Understand

Could you ever
Look at their hands
TWISTED from the torment
*We will force them to withstand...
Clovina Oct 2015
Strong
That’s…
What Everyone…
Sees…

Being
Me?

That’s…
My
Facade…

But no one…
Could ever *S
ee…
Me

But *You
...
I think

And you’d always…
Talk to me...
Speak to me…
And tell me…

That I’m weak…
Very…
Very  Weak...

And you’ll Cry...
And you’ll Plea
You’ll Call...
And you’ll Scream...

That…

Mentally…
I’ve Lost…

Emotionally…
I’m Tired…

Physically…
I’m Broke…

And
I...
Would deny your claim...

W**...
Do you Think...
You Are?

You
Can’t See…
Through my  Facade

...But…

You
May be...
Right  Though

Maybe...

You’ve Once...
Told your  Friends...


That…
If They Look at me…
Closely...


They
Could See Me...
Breaking

From the Pressure?


Emotionally
Literally...

But Baby...
You  Know…
You are  Wrong...


Because...
You've  Forgotte­n…
One  Last Thing...


It's that...
I Am…
But
A Porcelain Doll...
Clovina Sep 2015
Do not speak to Me...
With the words you never Seek...
With the ideas from the Weak...
You hold no Key...


Do not speak to Me...
If you do not wish to be a Freak...
With the words that you Shriek...
You beg and you Plea...

Take an arrow to the Knee!
Your existence is too Bleak!
Hide under your Shadow!
In the oblique dark Sea...

I do not Care...
About your Uncertainty...
Until you can Develop...
Your own *Maturity...
Clovina Sep 2015
You don't care
Or you don't know
You don't love me
Or it never shows

With all those hate
That you have sowed

How much longer
Could you act so low
Before I take
The final dose

You're not to blame
When I am gone
Just remember
That you were wrong

Don't feel sorry
For it's to late
I've already crossed
The Eternal Gate

You don't care
Or you don't know
You don't love me
Or it never shows...
Clovina Jul 2015
You can hear someone Breathing
But in the dark you can't See...
You can hear the voices Talking
But you can't hear their Plea...

You think you are Dreaming
To escape your Esteem...
You think you feel Nothing
Yet in The Dark World you Scream...

You know you are Bleeding
Your Blood coursing Free...
You know something is Dripping
You see a red Sea...

You believe you are Living
Yet you're trying to Flee...
You know you are Lying
To hide The Key...

However...

You don't know you're Dying
You're taking your Leave...
You don't know you're Falling
Into a world of Grief...

You don't know you're Crying
Since the day you have Passed...
You don't know you're Fading
As each seconds Last...

*Because there is one Thing
That you never Knew...
It's that you fell into a Coma
After those Two...
Clovina Jun 2015
"Suicide..."
They whisper to me...
"You are out of Time...
Don't you see..."

Have I lost My Sanity?
I've been bullied...
Since grade three...

"Take the Knife..."
They ordered me...
"Slit your throat...
Then you can leave...
From this world,
Eternally..."

"DON'T!"
She calls to me...

But...
She doesn't know...

"Run it through..."
They persuaded me...
"Let it loose,
Set it Free...
Forget about your...
Quandaries..."

They've...
convinced* me...
"We know how you feel...
You are lost...
You are...
Suffering..."


"Run away...
I Sing to me...
"From The Problems...
They've bestowed on me...
Just take the knife...
And let it be...
I don't Need...
This Family..."

"Don't listen to them..."
She pleas...

I look at the girl...In front of me...
Her soul--Empty...
Her eyes--Bleak...
Crying an Endless-Tearless Sea...

Staring back...My reflection speaks...
"I've given up...
Mentally...
My heart is tired...
Emotionally..."

She asks...
"Giving up...
Means They win...
Is this worth their heartless grins?
Think of why...
You've survived their sins..."


They laughed and hissed...
"Don't listen..."

But...
I've survived their sins...
Survived so far...
Because of The Reasons...

They are furious...
"Have you lost your Sanity?
She is Crazy...
Don't you see?"


They drown her out with their screams...
"Take the Knife!
TAKE YOUR LEAVE!
WE DON'T NEED YOUR IDENTITY!"


"Shut Up!"
I cry in angered screams...
"Why should I care?
You mean nothing to me!
You are nothing but Insanity!
Pressure! Depression! Anxiety!"

"Somebody...
Help Me..."

I wanted to live...
To continue to thrive...
Live a life full of fun...
And to say I've survived...

I've wanted to experience...
My future that awaits...
The day I'll make a difference...
And overcome my hate...

But...
I can't...anymore...
I lost my voice...
Since grade four...

My mind is something...
I never Speak...
People are creating...
My Identity...

I suffer from...
Anxiety...
I sometimes believe...
I've lost Sanity...
Depression still Stays with me...

But I'm still here...
And I survived...
I came back stronger
I Revived...

And now I'm Chasing
After My Dream...
Of becoming someone...
That I want to be...
Clovina Jan 2015
Hue
Mmmmm...

There was once a little girl...
Who lived in a world of gray...
And in that word of grey...
There were adults...
Painting it...
Darker and Darker each day...

So,
One day the little girl decides:
She will paint the world in Colors!!

Years go by...
And the little girl grew.
She  paints the world...
In colorful hues.

Soon...
People would thank her,
And know her as the Girl of Muse.

One day a person comes by...
And asks:
Why
*Do you paint the world?

And the girl answers:
To make the world more lively.

Days go by...
And soon more and more people began asking the girl
Why?
And each time her answer is the same....

Until she begins to doubt herself...
And her answers change to...
"I don't know..."


One day as she was wondering...
Why...
Do I..
Paint the world...
In Hues...

Her mind brakes...
And she loses...
All her Sanity.

She did not know...
That the person,
Who first asked her The Question...
Planted a seed of gray in her...

She did not know...
Her mind was breaking...

Little by Little...

Each Day...

She becomes Obsessed...
With the Colors...
And the more obsessed she is...
The more The Grey consumes her...

She begins to paint...
Not in Hues...
But in Grey...

And within that Grey Chaos...  
Her mind grew...

Darker and Darker...

And those who "knew" her...
Or thought who knew her...
Begins wondering:
Who is this woman...
What is she doing...

But they never asked...

Because within that Grey World...

That World...




Grows Darker and Darker...




Each...





And Every...




Day..




And each day...
Everyone becomes more...






*Secluded.
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