a shadow of a man, i am
to walk this earth thinking i am worth something
to think my soul has any value
when it has been proven that i am nothing but floating particles

what a cynic, i am
to believe i know the value of something
to put an investment in something so intimate
when it has been proven that i only knew the asking price

a blind man, i am
to see things the way they are
and not the way they ought to be

i pray for the quietest death
as i don't want to disturb others
a silence to the groans that come from my deep within
and a sigh as i release my final note

i wish for the quietest death
a euthanized extinction
my throat is raw from the mightiest of roars
my claws; dull at the tips

your love still rings in my ears
a torment I can never cease
i lay still, night after night
begging the invisible heavens, please;

somebody slip me the quietest death
nobody needs to know
i'd do anything to see you one last time
and kiss your lips before i go

i will lay still.
i will not make a sound.
i will be subdued.

i would die to never see you again.

The girls with rusty voices are so poetic
And I am neither a song bird, nor a gutsy girl who just finished her 5th cigarette
I’m a little too nasally and high pitched
For even words to make me beautiful

i have lost feeling on the bottom of my right foot.
i stepped on a broken something
and its sharp edge cut my nerves.
it is one of many.

maybe wherever you are
there is greener grass
and brighter skies
that compliment your crooked smile
and tired eyes
and i'd like to think
that you are every star in the sky
but not even the sun
could compare to your light
that everyone could see
only when it was too late
talking to the angels
seems more romantic
knowing that I could be talking to you

I'll burn down my yesterday
Drown in the ashes

I'll cut my past to pieces
Choke on the shreds

I'll choose to love my today
And be devoted to my tomorrow

I do not want to know how to do It
I do not want to talk about how It is not done properly
 
I want to pull it out of my chest
I want to float a few meters away from my body while I'm doing it
I want It to not be framed by lies, rules and restrictions
I want It to be my child, to be free and pure
Unlike me,
unlike  us,
unlike you.
 
I want It to be the most wonderfull thing that someone has seen / heard / touched
I want It to know how to talk to cats and dogs and I want it
to have a name we can not pronounce.