Classified

Classified Mar 2014

I'm the option you shouldn't have chosen.

I am a terrible person.
Thinking of your lips and craving for your body
Wanting to be close to you, more than any other.
Speaking everyday
You seem to try to make me trip up and fall for you

The truth is that, in person
Reality
You differ from who I long for.
It is hard to describe,
Explain
And even harder to comprehend.
But so comfortable over the phone, you joke, I laugh
But when we are together, all those messages get erased.
You do not wish to be there,
You are not phased
By my presence, as I am yours.

"I would have been very surprised, kissed back..."
Impossible. He removes himself from your affection.
You should have...
No, you would have made it worse
He says you're pretty, interesting and cool
No, he is playing you for the fool

Do not fall in love with that which your brain perceives to you as true
Because
I am a terrible person
And will only
Ever
Cause harm
To any and all.

I am the option No One should have chosen or ever choose. I am too messed up and broken for anyone to love, or anyone to fix

Stop your childish games. No one could ever love you, let alone Him. Just try your best to not hurt him and do anything to make Him happy.*
I promise, on my life.

Friday night out made me think a lot.
Pity that even the setting of one day and the dawn of the other cannot hold my thoughts at bay.
I just want them to go away.
But
Nothing gold can stay.

Classified Mar 2014

Untitled

I have a hamartia. A fatal flaw.
For some its smoking, others pride, arrogance, ignorance, but mine is fear.
Some question how I am so fearless.
Others tell me to drop the act.
But my answer to both of those comments , is you're wrong. I'm not fearless or acting. I am fear itself.
It has not consumed me, but created me.
I live on is, strive on it and will die because of it.
So yes, I have a hamartia. A fatal flaw. It is fear. And it will be the death of me.

Classified Feb 2014

I Wish I Could Cry

When the tears flow, there's no stopping them. The come cascading down, along with those chains you use to control your heart.
The tears you refused to cry so many times, because you wanted to be strong ,you wanted to be in control.
But did you know that in holding in those tears, pushing away those feelings only make them worse when they return?
Yes ,you did. So when you can't hide it on your own anymore, you turn to the bottle ,or anything that can numb your emotions.
And in that moment, that first gulp, or cut, or meal skipped, that is when the invisible tears start, and that is when **I Wish I Could Cry.

Written for HP user I Wish I Could Cry

Classified Feb 2014

Untitled

The only reason you care so much is because it happened to Him
If it happened to me, I swer, you wouldn't be half as grim.

I've apologised, I've cried
And I honestly wish I had died.

I know what I did and said was wrong
But I've apologised so much it's as if I'm a mainstream repetitive song.

However , you calling me pathetic does nothing to help your side
And im struggling to just take this in my stride.

I understand that what I did was unnecessary and mean
But that was never my intention and you might understand if you didn't have to act like a queen

Yes! I know I behaved like an awful **
But I see in me making a mistake, you finally took your pick

You eventually chose him over me,
And now I'm left to watch and see.

I would undo it if I could, in a heartbeat,
But it was stupid of me to think you'd stay and not make me feel like *******, although that's no feat.

Forgive my stupidity and irrationality
I hope you'll be able to live from now on peacefully.

I'm a stupid f*****g d**k and I'm so so so sorry...
And yes, I do know that I'm pathetic

Classified Feb 2014

HIGH PICE TO PAY FOR DISTRACTION

Watching the world rush by
As she drives by
Just to go get high
By herself.
She's alone
With no home
She needs a distraction,
So he seeks to get high as the queen on the throne.

She loses focus
Looking at something beautiful
Caught in the shadows
Hidden in a tree
That thing in there reminds me of me.
But without that focus,
That loss of attention,
That longing for affection
Seeking perfection
She pays the price.
She can't look twice.
She lost focus
Lack of attention results in no hope for affection, impossible for perfection because now she is doomed in dejection, dead.
You're a fool to believe in correction.
"She was so young" you'd say,
But breathing, your attention you did not pay, but now,
She got her distraction, her high
She believed she could fly.
Never did you believe that that last hit would ever be her *goodbye.

Classified Feb 2014

Don't Come Knocking

Hanging from the rafters,
Bleeding on the floor,
Whatever you must do, don't come knocking on my door.

Hanging from the rafters,
Bleeding on the floor,
The scene you'd see in front of you holds a lot of blood and gore.

Hanging from the rafters,
Bleeding on the floor,
The sight of me would make you wish you could change it before.

Hanging from the rafters.
Bleeding on the floor.
Whatever you must do,
Don't come knocking on my door.
Don't come knocking on my door. Don't come knocking on my door.
Don't come knocking on my door.
Don't come knocking...

— The End —