Hundreds of people
Torn apart
Shredded lives
Forty years of pain
Separation
Sorrow
Fear
And isolation
All because one a-hole
Gave my brother Shawn
A bad bag of dope
And my nephew
He broke the chains
Of the family curse
But I seem
To be a victim of it
In my own life
Of lovelessness

Instead of waking in bliss and love
I woke in love and sorrow
Hands vibrating with pleasure
Heart ripped through by a dagger
How can someone who despises me the most
Be the person I feel love radiate from the most
It doesn't make sense

What you thought of the trial
You didn't have much
Unusual to say
But that five minutes
Of watching your
Beautiful face
Hearing your
Soothing voice
Your silly sound effects
Filled me with joy
Love emanated from
Every cell in my body
God I miss you
But I don't know you
So now I go back
To pretending you
Never existed in my world
Never took my heart
Made me your girl
Dejectedly and
Without your participation
So that's why
For so long
Ive tried manifestation
I don't know you
You trigger me
But I love you
And I'm taking your fame
I was told I reminded someone
Of George Carlin
Can you believe that?
Best compliment
I've ever received
My kombucha joke
Is better than yours

I watched those hawk chicks
Fed by their parents
Growing fast
But not fast enough
To beat the desert temperatures
Coming early in June
They succumbed to the heat
If only they'd had another week
Another casualty
The great species collapse is here
Taking lives
Of every species
And I
A scientist, an ecologist
Doing my best
Can only sit back
Watch the world burn
And grieve
The short term changes
With lasting impacts
Of the industrial revolution

I remember thinking how could he possible smell the same

What if he's a catch I mean he is a catch what if he catches me

I'm not ready to be caught I feel like I'm too close to the hook

I want to take the meat off the hook without getting the hook stuck in my lip

What if it's already there and he just hasn't reeled me in yet

I never lost
My childlike wonder
Until I met him
And now I wonder
Where it has gone
Did he take it
Can I have it back
Now, please

I hope you are well
I love you
Be my valentine
Take care
Bye now
Bye bye
Bye bye

To be my girlfriend you have to do this
And to be my girlfriend you have to do that
To be my girlfriend you have to be this
And to be my girlfriend you have to be that
To be my girlfriend you have to say this
And to be my girlfriend you have to say that
**** it bruh
You have too many hoops
And I am not a trapeze artist

Friends for twenty years and I was too daft to see.

This guy speaks my love language.

I'm never gonna let him go.

Triggered
Self-blame and self-hatred
Now I am even farther behind
Then I was at step one
I'm destroyed
My ugliness is back
To consume me
To rip my soul to shreds
In all my disgusting
Lack of grace
I can't overcome this
I am too ugly
I am walking away
From the twin flame journey
But at least the troll who ruined me and I made up

I sing along to
Nirvana's About A Girl
And then I pull in
And see you hanging there
From the balcony
Of our beautfiul home
I try to save you
But it's too late
I unplug you on the sixth
When the doctors
Claim you are brain dead
There is no hope
Then for years
I learn about miracles
Maybe I should have left you plugged in
Maybe I shouldn't have listened
Maybe I destroyed a miracle
Gifted to me from jah
And I will never deserve another miracle
So you died once
Maybe twice
And I died every second
Then every minute
Then every hour
Every day
Until finally
I learned to live in some truncated way
I only die several times a year
Or maybe I just don't count anymore
Because I am accustomed to it now
The loss of a lifetime
The loss of love and marriage
Never remarrying
Never having kids
Dying on the days that remind me of you
Valentines, the day your proposed, the day we married, your birthday, halloween, the days you died, christmas.
I never really live my life to the fullest
I never can
No matter how I try
There is a piece of me you took with you
When you comitted suicide
The piece of me
That wishes
You'd killed me first

Cuz you remind me of Chris
I can't do this
Chasing you down the way
I won't stay
If you'll stray
But you can't stray from
What never held form

Thank you
You're beautiful
I'm grateful
I'm looking elsewhere

You were looking for a perfect love
That never makes mistakes
I was looking for you
We both ended up where we started
Alone

When other women
Find the one
They are correct
But now that I found the one
I am wrong?

I was raised on self-hatred
Easily narc baited
So forget finding love
I don't deserve love
I don't deserve a partner
Try only for disaster
I don't deserve a child
Independence too wild
I deserve to rot alone
In my beautiful home
My entire **** life
Just another lonely night
I'm not going to the livestream
I'm killing this fake dream
I am just an idiot
I need to move on and get with it

I can only love him from afar
Will it always be like this
Loving people so out of reach
Stuck dating ones easy to resist
Mistook as someone easy to get
Facing anger when *** I reject
Because I want something real
True and long term
Not something fleeting
This court is adjourned

When I wrote
Heart catching up with reality
I wasn't saying I don't love you anymore
I will always love you
I was saying
I accept if you don't
Love me
Want me
Choose me
I was accepting things as they are
And being free of the chains
The burdens
Of my longing of love from you
I can never stop loving you
I will love you until the day I die
That doesn't have to be a ball and chain

Everything it was
Or wasn't
Felt like bliss
I've learned my lesson
I know I can't tell you how I feel
But somehow
I hope you know

You thought I was desperate
I wasn't, I was in love
Deeply, tragically, in love.
All of your negative thoughts about me
Are wrong
Just like all of my positive thoughts about you
You will never understand what you've lost
Just as I will never understand I haven't lost anything

"I'm sorry.
Forgive me.
Thank you.
I love you."
-HONOPOPO

Your silence
And what you have said
Make no sense when
I feel your love falling on me
Like a pile of boulders

I am so in love with you
I know it's futile
I wish you could reap the benefits
Of the positive changes I have made
For you because of you
But that's okay
I forgive you

Leaves turning
Green to yellow, red, and orange
Pale green with a cold wind's scourge
Trees letting go, trying to teach us
How simple it is to move seasons
Live now and forget all the reasons
But our memories are built
To turn over the past haunting
Again and again as we watch
Leaves blown in the wind
Trying to break chains that bind
As hard as we can
We don't let go

I finally broke the habit
And let you go
Nearly two months after
When I got a new job
Happy for the first time
In years
You find me on tiktok
Just to block me
We never
Interacted on tiktok
Well I found you
Everywhere that is left
To block you
So you can never hurt me again
Because your move
Sent me spiraling back down
Why would you take
My happiness like that
When I finally succeeded
At giving you what you want
Leaving you alone
There are no avenues left
You can never hurt me again
I love you
Take care
Good bye
For good

I long to look
Into your beautiful f'ing eyes
Like staring into the earth
And the sun
Simultaneously
I long to run
My fingers through your hair
Is it soft
Or wirey
I long to trace
Your jawline with my fingers
Already memorized every feature
You're beautiful
How lucky you are
Not to be chained to me
As I am to you
But then again
If you were
My dreams would come true

Suzie, Suzie, Suzie
She stole my man
Even though she had him
Years before I knew he existed
Give it up
I am the one for him
Give her up
I am the one for you

Merry Christmas, twin flame.
I hope you are not lonely.
I hope you spend the holiday with friends.
I hope you are warm and feeling well.
I hope you are happy and feeling whole.
I don't know you yet I miss you.
I wish you were spending Xmas with me.
I'm not allowed to but I love you.
I'm yours, or rather,
I'm mine.
As I spend my holiday alone,
Because I don't want to spend it with
Anyone else but you.

I tried to be there for him
I just failed
That's all
You can't be there for someone
Who won't let you

You're not a nice person
You never gave a **** about me
You have anger issues
You have no sense of humor
You are a vegan
You probably smell like mothballs
You probably aren't good in bed
Because you are cold and callous
You are exploitative
You are a gaslighter, too
You can't stand up for yourself
Until you are explosive
You probably have too large of a bleep anyway
You are not the one
I swear it, being my twin flame aside
You are not the one.

I only want one thing
For my birthday tomorrow
And that's to hear from you
Which I will not

When I met you
My heart ripped open
Love burst into
A thousand directions
Unsatiated and overflowing
Endless and yielding
Spilling over the top
Of every full glass
No lid, no cap
How did you make that happen?

My hope
And my perseverance
Have always brought me
Everything I wanted
Made every dream come true
But when it comes to loving you
They lead me, alone
Down a dusty
Dead end road
Called heartbreak
Again and again
On a loop
Like a carnival ride
In Carsen City
Please let me
Off the ride
Turn from the road
Let go of hope
Because we do not persevere
Together
We are only apart
Me with my love for you
And you with no memory of me
In your heart

I'm anxious as f
Did I throw myself at you
I hope not
Please ask me for a date
I like your hair
I'll get used to your name
Even though right now
It is a ridiculous name
I'm sure you've heard every worn out joke
That could be written with it
I'm so glad
You are young enough for me
My hand felt so nice in yours
I am not sure if we have dance chemistry
I thought so
But my nerves were strong tonight
I have nothing more to say about it
Yay I like someone
Ask me out

My old boss and mentor
Shared a song
It reminded him of me
An Irish tune, The Tinker's Coin
Of a traveler passing through
And it pulled my heartstrings
My thoughts went to you
My love you were to me
And I was to you
Only a traveler passing through
But you took my heart
And I took your name
Like the coin she gave
It was my unwilling gift to you
So I walk without it
To my grave
A traveler passing through

I want to run away from everything
I want to leave it all behind
But I cannot
Because it's all stored in my mind

Today the sky looks vibrant
From both sides of my house
The red clouds in the sky
Calling the birds out
The moon still high
To meet the sun halfway
Glorious reds and oranges
Chasing the moon away
So I rise up from my bed
To start the greatest day

I get tens of calls of nobody
Trying to sell me *****
Or take my money
For nothing in return
And I ask each and every one
Now
Why do you always have to be spam?
Why can't you ever be Graham?

Most days I love you
Some days I miss you
Mostly Mondays
Sometimes I'm angry at you
And occasionally
You've destroyed every fiber
Of my hope for love
Of my souls reality
Tomorrow
It will be nice
To just love you
Tonight
It may be nice
When you hold me
And kiss me
In an astral way
If my heart can stray
From my mind

I would swim across the ocean
To be with you tonight
I would rip the sky apart
To hold you tight
I would move mountains
To find you in the valley
I would ***** volcanoes
To have you close to me
There is nothing else
I want or need
Then to put your face
In my hands
And express to you
All my plans

I would say forget it
Forget me
Forget my love
Forget you ever knew me
But you already did.

I'm pretty sure a year ago today
Was the first time I
Met you in a livestream
I didn't love you until Nov 24th
Those first four months
Were platonically perfect
I loved spending hours
4 to 5 nights a week
With you
You running long in those days
Staying longer and later with us
With me
You never disappointed me
Or if you did
You are forgiven for all
I love you unconditionally
And I forgive myself for all
Everything I said that upset you
Once I came to love you
I know we may never
Have that bliss in 3D again
That sense of comfort
Of coming home
But I won't forget
And I relive, spiritually, energetically
Those moments with you
Feel you when you pull me
Miss you when you miss me
We are one
Happy anniversary 🎉

Just before bed I give up on you
I wake in the morning and I give up on you
Throughout the day I give up on you
Another night and I give up on you
Why cant I forget you
The way you forgot me
Why must I love you
Knowing you never loved me
Knowing I became
Nothing to you
The first time you ignored me
Why must I think of you
Just to give up
Again and again
Please be erased
From my mind and heart
Another morning
Another love Jumpstart

I spent so much time
Refusing to think about
What I saw in you
That I don't really remember
What I saw in you anymore
You are just a judgemental
Cranky old man

They are petty
You say
They are childish
You imply
You don't waver
You claim
And all I see
Is your cracked mirror
Reflecting your truth
Back to me
You are petty
You are childish
You waver
You crumble
Like the man
In the radio head song
And still
I love you
Which you see
As unacceptable
Disgusting
Deplorable
Goodbye

All chords cut
When songs remind me of you
Some dream potential
Of what we'll never do
Some wistful wish
For a love burning true
Memories of bliss and let downs
Leaving us both blue
💙

Ripple through the changing multiverse
With your love
Echo through my mind, my soul
Reverberate into my world
Shake me to the core as you always do
Let me see the physical side of you
Come crashing through my gate
Like a whirlwind of fate
Wrap me up in your hugs
That define your love
I've felt the bliss again and again
Bring forth what you are, my friend
My lover
No more spiritual slumber
We shall quantum leap
Into the spaces
Where we can't be separated
And both release the curses
That trap our love in verses
Of unrequited poets
Words of those that do not know us
Know what and who we are
Too brazen brilliant stars
With scars
Heal and be enraptured
Tend to mending sutures
Never again will we
Feel the broken heart of
"I must leave"

If I could meet you where you are
I'd be there
But I can't
Because I have to meet me where I am

I used to believe there were no coincidences
Until I met you
If I am to take you at face value
The word coincidence must be true
If everything happened for a reason
You would not leave me blue
You would reach out and confirm this
As I've repeatedly asked you to

Because of you
I am more mindful
I am more self soothing
I am more empathtic
I am more patient
I am more kind
I am more understanding
You forced me
To take my good parts
And enhance them
To illuminate my bad parts
And fix them
Or at least continue to try
As caring is a lifestyle
Communication is a practise
And you're the most positive loss
I ever could have had
Thank you

My value is in my heart
My value is in my persistence
My value is in my perseverance
My value is in my open ear
For another to confide in
My lack of judgment
When another needs freedom
From being judged
My value is in my warmth
My value is in my guidance
My value makes me love
Shining through to others
On their dark days
My value is in my support
Not in my scientific expertise
Not in my money stacks
Or the home I own
My value is in the way
The songs I sing touch other's souls
Not in the talent itself
Not in the limitations
Society imposes on me
My value is in loving you
So truly that you accept it
My value is in my soul
Shining bright in the sun
Greater than gold or precious gemstones

My goddess
Love of my life
My wife
Bringer of bliss