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Jun 2021 · 388
Until you reach out
Clarkia Jun 2021
You took away all my reasons to believe
And left me with nothing
So I believe nothing.
Enjoy your lonely life.
Jun 2021 · 85
at the end of home
Clarkia Jun 2021
We've already brought
Our doubts and fears
To fruition
We have lived them
We know what they are
And how they make us feel
All that is left
Is hope
Jun 2021 · 105
Climate change
Clarkia Jun 2021
I watched those hawk chicks
Fed by their parents
Growing fast
But not fast enough
To beat the desert temperatures
Coming early in June
They succumbed to the heat
If only they'd had another week
Another casualty
The great species collapse is here
Taking lives
Of every species
And I
A scientist, an ecologist
Doing my best
Can only sit back
Watch the world burn
And grieve
The short term changes
With lasting impacts
Of the industrial revolution
Jun 2021 · 277
My Reality
Clarkia Jun 2021
Write me into your reality
However you see fit
This is my reality
I determine it
I am taking what is mine
I already have it
Jun 2021 · 68
So Again
Clarkia Jun 2021
I am filled with love
It permeates and radiates
I feel this anxiousness
Don't fret
You can never run out
Of the love I contain
It persists
Through the ages
Be love
Be peace
Be yourself
Jun 2021 · 79
Potential
Clarkia Jun 2021
Let's not stand in each other's way
Let's unite when we
Can bond together in strength
To help eachother reach our goals
If we can't do that
Keep the partition on the stage
And be my costar
Out of sight
Out of mind
Yet chained at the heart
Jun 2021 · 207
It's true
Clarkia Jun 2021
That I shouldn't have shared the parts of me
With you
That weren't meant for anyone
But if you
Had given me a chance
I'd of shared everything else
With you
And worked hard
To repair
The parts of myself
I shouldn't have shared
I still am repairing those parts
But its the sharing the rest
With you
That I don't get
That I missed out on
And I missed out on
You sharing all your parts
You mean to share
Someday, with someone
With me
Jun 2021 · 99
I love myself, because
Clarkia Jun 2021
My value is in my heart
My value is in my persistence
My value is in my perseverance
My value is in my open ear
For another to confide in
My lack of judgment
When another needs freedom
From being judged
My value is in my warmth
My value is in my guidance
My value makes me love
Shining through to others
On their dark days
My value is in my support
Not in my scientific expertise
Not in my money stacks
Or the home I own
My value is in the way
The songs I sing touch other's souls
Not in the talent itself
Not in the limitations
Society imposes on me
My value is in loving you
So truly that you accept it
My value is in my soul
Shining bright in the sun
Greater than gold or precious gemstones
Clarkia Jun 2021
Your value is in who you are
Your value is in who you try to be
Your value is in the actions you take
Not in the money you make
Or the muscles on your body
Not in the number of followers you have
Your value is in your soul
Glistening in the sun greater
Than gold or precious gemstones
Your value radiates from you
To inspire all of those you touch
All of those whom path you cross
Most of all mine
I love you
I see you
I see all that you are
The dark and the light
The secrets you hide from yourself and the world
And the abundance and important messages you distribute
For everyone's greater good
For everyone's growth and healing
Your value is so much deeper and
So much more expansive
Than the industry could ever impose
Jun 2021 · 98
My Vision
Clarkia Jun 2021
Because
Who has me
But you
Jun 2021 · 72
I hope
Clarkia Jun 2021
I hope you learn
Everything you taught me
Someday
Jun 2021 · 78
We can run but
Clarkia Jun 2021
We can't hide
From the love
Deep inside
Craving
Waiting
To burst forth
Into the sunlight
Of our dreams
Fulfilled
Jun 2021 · 220
Pewpewpew
Clarkia Jun 2021
Give time to the bridge
Before this bliss
As someone that believes in color
Yesterday knows the truth
In your eyes
Jun 2021 · 66
why all the phenomenon
Clarkia Jun 2021
why all the
Twin flame *****
Just for you to hate me
Just to continue
Being myself
Alone
I didn't need it
I didn't need you
I could have healed myself
Now I love you
And it won't go away
I wish it would
Because I've given up
On you loving me
Jun 2021 · 75
What I will never have
Clarkia Jun 2021
From the moment
My husband hung
From his noose
It was apparent
I
Will never be loved
I
Will never remarry
I
Will always
Just be me, alone
Worthy of love
But unable to obtain it
Why do I love you now
Another unobtainable
Shattered dream
Why
No reason
I just can't have it
Jun 2021 · 73
Forever but not waiting
Clarkia Jun 2021
When I told you
I love you
Unconditionally
I meant it
When I met you
I knew you
Were kindred to me
And when I
Began to love you
I just knew
And I know
And that is okay
I hope you'll come forward someday
Against all the odds
Against all your actions
That push me away
Cuz I'm done running.
Jun 2021 · 142
and do nothing
Clarkia Jun 2021
I want to fight for your love
More than I've ever fought for anything
For anyone
In my entire life
I've never wanted anyone this much
I've always let go and walked away
I never want to let go of you
I will let you go because it's what you want
But I never want to let go of the love I have for you
I've never wanted something so much
As I want a chance to love you and cherish you
To make all your dreams come true
I've never felt this way before
I've never felt so much determination
And all I can do is let you slip away
And do nothing
Jun 2021 · 106
Dark Knight of the Soul
Clarkia Jun 2021
Instead of waking in bliss and love
I woke in love and sorrow
Hands vibrating with pleasure
Heart ripped through by a dagger
How can someone who despises me the most
Be the person I feel love radiate from the most
It doesn't make sense
Jun 2021 · 232
Seeth
Clarkia Jun 2021
Why do I think you love me when you don't
Why do I feel you longing when you won't
Why do I feel ways I've never felt before
For someone who's never walked through my door
Why do I try so hard to believe
In a false idea that can only deceive
Why does my heart weigh heavy for you
Why don't you feel the way I do
How did you capture me like prized prey
How can you throw me back to the wild frey
How can I feel love for the idea of you
When the only truth left is you don't want me to
When my love feels light and blows on the wind
I find myself on your hook reeled in again
But you aren't throwing it out for a catch
You just want me gone, a bad batch
I'm sorry for loving you
But still I can't help it, I do
I cant explain
I can only exclaim
That your worth all the love I have to give
But my mistakes infuriate you to seeth
Well it is all done and blocked off now
Is it my turn to get over you somehow
Jun 2021 · 198
I Cried and Cried But
Clarkia Jun 2021
Celebration of all or nothing.
An impending sense of heartache and freedom,
Aloneness, peace and joy.
Unconditional love that can't be broken nor triggered.
And the breaking of chains of burden.
We are free of each other.
Me free of you, you free of me
Though we are bound
By the same soul frequency
By our energy, but not bound
By our physicality
I pray for your forgiveness
And relish in my own
Thank you.
I love you.
Love is mine to bear.
Take care.
Jun 2021 · 76
Okay...
Clarkia Jun 2021
I'll give you what you want.
I'll take my love away.
I don't love you anymore.
I don't love you after all.
Is that what you wanted to hear?
Does that make you happy now?
Jun 2021 · 63
I give up every day
Clarkia Jun 2021
I give up on you every day.
So today.
I give up.
Again.
I'll never know you.
I won't even try any more.
Jun 2021 · 82
Still Not Waiting For You
Clarkia Jun 2021
Write me
I miss you
Eh whatever
I don't need anyone
Hold me
Ok fine let me go
I'm the one for you
Let yourself know
But really I'm fine
Alone
Clarkia Jun 2021
You were worth a try
And you were worth pushing away
When you refused to reciprocate
Otherwise I'd of spent all my days
In your shadow waiting
Still six months later I love you
And ask myself
Whats the difference
I could have spent time in your shade
But my time is mine, loves renegade
Jun 2021 · 265
What can I say
Clarkia Jun 2021
I've broken a hundred communication promises to you
Come forward when you want to
You may not trust me
But I trust myself
Jun 2021 · 73
Time Taken...
Clarkia Jun 2021
...is not very long.
...is not long, stop asking.
...is not long at all.
...shut up!
...is time well spent.
...is time needed.
...is not coming back.
...will not be returned.
...can not be earned.
...is lost.
...cannot be profitable.
...to do the job right leads to satisfaction.
...to care shows compassion.
...passes in years.
...is remembered.
... is treasured.
...brings smiles.
...renews ones path.
...renews ones soul.
...is precious.
...is meaningful.
...is shared.
...is a happy memory.
...is always close to the heart.
...becomes peace of mind.
...helps you grow.
...teaches you to love again.
...gives you knowledge to decide based upon experience.
...leaves dog hair for years.
...makes scars beautiful.
...won't hurt as much as it heals.
...means you will love again.
...-how much longer?
...makes sleep all the more enjoyable.
...makes lifes quests star-reachingly fabulous!
...makes puzzles quick to beat, but not to quick.
I wrote this one line at a time over many weeks in 2014.
Clarkia Jun 2021
When I wrote
Heart catching up with reality
I wasn't saying I don't love you anymore
I will always love you
I was saying
I accept if you don't
Love me
Want me
Choose me
I was accepting things as they are
And being free of the chains
The burdens
Of my longing of love from you
I can never stop loving you
I will love you until the day I die
That doesn't have to be a ball and chain
Clarkia Jun 2021
I was over you yesterday
Convinced it's hopeless
That my heart was letting go
But to see your anger
Your pain
Not be able to help
Be the cause again
Rips my heart out
Leaves love and shame
I wish I could hug you
Then be over you again
Jun 2021 · 603
Love Provokes Anger
Clarkia Jun 2021
When I told my friend in 2018 that I had fallen in love with him he got angry with me.
So I went no contact.
When I dated my friend with benefits in 2018 and 2019 he was always angry with me.
When I fell in love with you
You got angry with me
So angry
It was your part of destroying our potential
I don't know why my love
Makes everyone so angry
But I'm never going to love
Or if I do it'll be a secret
Because my love provokes anger
And I cant take it anymore
I want to be love and be loved
And I'm a festering demon instead
My love
Brings out the demons
Of the people I feel it for
I give up
Will I always be alone?
Jun 2021 · 98
Composes email...
Clarkia Jun 2021
"I'm sorry.
Forgive me.
Thank you.
I love you."
-HONOPOPO
doesn't send email
Jun 2021 · 91
You're a muse.
Clarkia Jun 2021
You were just a catalyst
That I could not resist
But your not the voice
Of my final choice
Get over yourself
It's me and no one else
Cuz that's a twin flame
Nothing left to explain
Clarkia Jun 2021
I would like to believe
That my love is turning to dust
Caught in the leaves of the trees
Where you don't see me
It's starting to feel true
What will I sing
What will I write
If I come to feel nothing
For you
Jun 2021 · 68
I am in love
Clarkia Jun 2021
I love you so deeply
But you won't accept it
You won't have it
So I shower it upon myself
What a tragedy
For you
Jun 2021 · 93
Every day
Clarkia Jun 2021
I get tens of calls of nobody
Trying to sell me *****
Or take my money
For nothing in return
And I ask each and every one
Now
Why do you always have to be spam?
Why can't you ever be Graham?
Jun 2021 · 307
Online Presence
Clarkia Jun 2021
I came into your world
Then told you to get off my stage
I realize now
That didn't make sense
But you're coming to a stage near me
I've decided no matter how much
It will hurt if you don't see me
Or don't recognize me
I'm going to be there
I'm going to test fate
I'll be the beautiful blond
Sitting next to the beautiful redhead
You can't miss us
Jun 2021 · 87
Dashed Dreams
Clarkia Jun 2021
But not ours
All of our dreams will come true
Like they always do
With or without me
With or without you
Jun 2021 · 236
Fine.
Clarkia Jun 2021
I need you.
You make me smile when no one else can.
But I don't believe in needing people.
So
Don't tell anyone.
Especially not me.
Jun 2021 · 54
When I come to Hawaii
Clarkia Jun 2021
In late December
That is when I will contact you again
To let you know where I'll be
So if you are still in Hawaii
And you are still single
By that time
Come see me
The worse that could happen
Is you spend some time
With a pretty girl
Likely just surfing
And if you aren't interested
We go our separate ways again
Take a chance on me
If you haven't called
Or zoomed
Or some other form of communication
By then
I still remember you from the festival. I remember you from Harlows. I am not going to reject you.
Jun 2021 · 61
Wifey
Clarkia Jun 2021
Forget what I see in you
What do I see in me
Someone who refuses to commit
Because it always ends
In tragic heartbreak
Someone completely worthy
Of a dedicated two way love
That can't find it
And wants to give up trying
Wants to let love go
And never bother with it again
A sensitive heart made for someone
Who has the strength to put the effort in
Without throwing in the towel
On the work it takes
To make a relationship work
To turn to her for support and companionship
With an open heart and mind
And to keep themselves
Their independence
A woman who wants a man who won't lose himself
Relying on her for his happiness
Because we all create our own happiness
And I create mine alone
May 2021 · 280
Wait what...
Clarkia May 2021
My intuition isn't broken?
So, then, you love me...
Or is it only broken
When it comes to you.
May 2021 · 741
Six months Six days
Clarkia May 2021
Another day of missing you.
When will this end?
When will my heart and soul move on?
My mind gets that it's a no go.
The rest of me is slow.
I love you.
May 2021 · 104
Nothing to you
Clarkia May 2021
I would say forget it
Forget me
Forget my love
Forget you ever knew me
But you already did.
May 2021 · 74
G
Clarkia May 2021
G
I guess you're just a muse to me now
I'm just Amusement to you anyhow
Actually you were always just a muse
The love I feel is there to confuse
You never felt it, that's old news
Regardless how my heart you infuse
Good luck at your show tonight. I'm sure you'll be great.
May 2021 · 81
Sigh
Clarkia May 2021
I want to block you so bad
But whats the point
When I'm just going to
Turn around and unblock you
Again
Seeing your face
Seeing your kind words to others
Triggers the memory
Of how you first ignored me
How you gaslit me
With the "my guns are so tight"
Comments
How you treated me
Like I wasn't worth your time
Except where you
Could use my material
To fill airspace
You treat everyone differently
Than you treat me
I wish I could keep you blocked
But I don't
I sometimes think
I'll wash my hands
Of the entire community
Walk away and
Leave all of you behind
Perhaps someday
I will
Love me, want me, talk to me
Or don't I don't f'ng care
I deserve better treatment
Than I can get from you
I'm good enough
I'm worthy
You're blind
You'll only miss me
When it's too late
Just like all the rest
May 2021 · 92
Alone
Clarkia May 2021
Just before bed I give up on you
I wake in the morning and I give up on you
Throughout the day I give up on you
Another night and I give up on you
Why cant I forget you
The way you forgot me
Why must I love you
Knowing you never loved me
Knowing I became
Nothing to you
The first time you ignored me
Why must I think of you
Just to give up
Again and again
Please be erased
From my mind and heart
Another morning
Another love Jumpstart
May 2021 · 85
Hope and Perseverence
Clarkia May 2021
My hope
And my perseverance
Have always brought me
Everything I wanted
Made every dream come true
But when it comes to loving you
They lead me, alone
Down a dusty
Dead end road
Called heartbreak
Again and again
On a loop
Like a carnival ride
In Carsen City
Please let me
Off the ride
Turn from the road
Let go of hope
Because we do not persevere
Together
We are only apart
Me with my love for you
And you with no memory of me
In your heart
May 2021 · 70
Every day
Clarkia May 2021
From the moment you first ignored me
I gave you up every day
I let you go every day
So then why
Can't my hope join me
Why
Must my hope torture me so
May 2021 · 70
Two in twelve years
Clarkia May 2021
It really puts it in perspective
When I realize
In the past 12 years
I've only loved two guys
And you were one
Still I'm on the run
From your lack of fun
You miss the starting gun
I cant quite comprehend
How my heart came to mend
Then came to bend
At your hands
With a quick end
I cant understand
I couldn't accept
So I took my usual steps
But something has gone awry
Because I'm not over you yet
May 2021 · 88
not normal
Clarkia May 2021
My intuition says one thing
My heart very much agrees
But my mind tells me
It sees what it sees
You're not someone I please
You're not someone I tease
You're lost on the breeze
I'm lost in the trees
So day after day
I try to break free
From the love and the way
You've captured me
And day after day
My soul brings me back
To your love trap
Where you never seem to be
Cobwebs and memories
Of things we never built
Self protection
Full of guilt
Running and writhing
From this love that abounds
But how can it be
When you don't make a sound
May 2021 · 66
How can this be
Clarkia May 2021
I've never written this many poems
For anyone
I've never waited on unrequited love
Not since middle school
Before love was even real
How can it be I feel
So much for someone
So out of touch
Who with me communication was snuffed
I know how you felt
I saw it
I read you like a book
You can't lie to me
But I don't know how you feel
Because I don't steal
Looks at you
From around the corner
Of our atrocities
To each other
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