Your apology was expected
Because I told myself to expect it
But I was so surprised
When you called
When it wasn't spam
It was finally ......
And the words spilled from your lips
"I've had enough time
I'm not angry anymore
I reread your email I last replied to
I also read the last email you sent
I recognize you were trying to have empathy for how I felt
I have thought a lot about everything that happened and
I have empathy for your perspective
I forgive you.
I also apologize for taking things out of proportion
When I couldn't see your perspective
Or understand you were taken
By your anxiety
After having time I realized
You really tried to make amends
And you weren't a threat
I'm sorry I treated you cruelly
Do you want a clean slate?
Let's start over from here."
And I accept
And I am grateful
And I will spend every day
For the rest of my life
Working to not make the same mistakes
Again
Because in this friction
I am the one

I'm just going to write
As if I were there
My readers will think
I've found love
I haven't
But I can dream love
Fantasize it's possible
There is no other way
I've tried letting you go
For a year
I've tried erasing you
Ive tried manifesting you
Now I'm just going to write you
As my fiction
Until someday someone
Is my truth

Ripple through the changing multiverse
With your love
Echo through my mind, my soul
Reverberate into my world
Shake me to the core as you always do
Let me see the physical side of you
Come crashing through my gate
Like a whirlwind of fate
Wrap me up in your hugs
That define your love
I've felt the bliss again and again
Bring forth what you are, my friend
My lover
No more spiritual slumber
We shall quantum leap
Into the spaces
Where we can't be separated
And both release the curses
That trap our love in verses
Of unrequited poets
Words of those that do not know us
Know what and who we are
Too brazen brilliant stars
With scars
Heal and be enraptured
Tend to mending sutures
Never again will we
Feel the broken heart of
"I must leave"

A year ago today
You took a piece of me
A piece of my heart
A piece of my soul
A lock of my hair
A strand of my energy
And I can't get the pieces back
I can't cut the cords
I don't even know you anymore
You're just some stranger
That I adore

He will love me
He will cherish me
He will be in regular contact
He will not be afraid
Not fear his emotions
Not fear conflict
Not fear compromise
Not fear working things out
Not fear communication
Not fear rejection
Because he will know
Rejection isn't an option
For either of us
We will communicate
We will share
We will be open
We will be equal
He will be loving
He will be caring
He will be firm
He will set boundaries
He will respect boundaries
He will be forward
He will be blunt
He will be dedicated
He will be loyal
We will share interests
We will build each other up
We will help eachother
On our paths to our best selves
He will give me
What you don't appear capable of
I love you
But I'm going to love him more
Because
I'm going to love him as much
As he is going to love me

What you thought of the trial
You didn't have much
Unusual to say
But that five minutes
Of watching your
Beautiful face
Hearing your
Soothing voice
Your silly sound effects
Filled me with joy
Love emanated from
Every cell in my body
God I miss you
But I don't know you
So now I go back
To pretending you
Never existed in my world
Never took my heart
Made me your girl
Dejectedly and
Without your participation
So that's why
For so long
Ive tried manifestation
I don't know you
You trigger me
But I love you
And I'm taking your fame
I was told I reminded someone
Of George Carlin
Can you believe that?
Best compliment
I've ever received
My kombucha joke
Is better than yours

The love remains
Missing you remains
I don't know you
Not like I did then
Not like I ever did
But I feel you
I vibrate with your presence
I feel enraptured
By my love for you
Unconditional
Everlasting
Unwavering
Quaking through
My unrequited heart
My soul at one with
Some essence of yours
Something you left behind
Unnoticed
That is mine