My love ignites
Burns hot
Like a crown fire
Ripping through a forest
Thick with brush
Burning up every bit of me
On its way to you
Ash blowing on the wind
With every sensation I send
I ascend
Caught above the flames
Smoke dispersed bits of grey
Landing on your windowsill

My love is a grace
That holds me
When I'm in need
Of comfort and support
My love is a claw
Ripping through my chest
Shredding my heart
And my stomach
To confetti, to dust
My love is present
My love is longing
My love is you
And you are me

My old boss and mentor
Shared a song
It reminded him of me
An Irish tune, The Tinker's Coin
Of a traveler passing through
And it pulled my heartstrings
My thoughts went to you
My love you were to me
And I was to you
Only a traveler passing through
But you took my heart
And I took your name
Like the coin she gave
It was my unwilling gift to you
So I walk without it
To my grave
A traveler passing through

Telepathy or not.
You've held me a thousand times.
Placed your hand at the nape of my neck while you kissed me.
Pulled my hair lightly.
After entangled your fingers in it at the back of my head.
You've gently rubbed your nose against mine.
Held me cheek to cheek.
The only thing he didn't do
Was hold a tendril of my hair,
And trace it to the end.
Every sound I heard
Or imagined you'd make
He made
Every sigh
And that strong overpowering passion
And the softest touch I've ever felt
Like his skin is made of the finest silk
The affirmations I've listened to
Night after night
Included asking me if I was OK
Checking in with where I was at
He did them all
My personal thought of well maybe you've  had a vasectomy
Maybe you haven't
Well this guy has
The marriage joke I made with you
Yeah he made a marriage joke with me
Turns out jokes are jokes, did you know that?
I'm so confused
Because the higher self
I get from you
Or imagine
Is everything he is
I'm so confused
I love you
And you're a phantom
And he is right here
Unsure if I was present
Which I was
How could I not notice
Everything about him
That I've manifested
You really don't understand
What you missed
When you let me go

I never lost
My childlike wonder
Until I met him
And now I wonder
Where it has gone
Did he take it
Can I have it back
Now, please

I sat on the beach
And you didn't sit with me
I looked up from my coffee
And didn't see your eyes
I walked from my bnb
And you didn't walk with me
I surfed the waves
And you weren't to my left
I joked the open mics
And you weren't there fuming
Over the jokes written about you
I sang karaoke
And you didn't duet with me
I laid in a strange bed
Only with my dog
I woke to a beach sunrise
A beach sunset
And your weren't there
Creating reels of the sight
Eating junk food
Because it's vegan
As I told you why
I couldn't eat it
Kissing my lips
Holding my hand
Hugging me close
Smelling my hair
Our cheeks pressed
Against each other
Your fingers in my hair
Moving it aside from the breeze
Lightly moving your fingers down
One strand to the end
Staring into my eyes
No none of this beauty
That I've manifested
A thousand times
Has come to be
Maybe next lifetime
You'll come to love me

The rain sparkles
Like glitter
Made from the dust
Of grief