Dust clouds puff up from beneath my feet
As I trudge the road towards my destiny
Into the future long and straight
Beyond all horizons it stretches
No room to deviate from the path
One false step invites the abyss
My heart is heavy my body weary
My bored mind chases the tumbleweed

Wait what is that distant sound on the wind
Music bright and cheerful leaping notes
Mingling with the song of laughing voices
Light spills out spreading joy on the stone
A sparking trail of golden breadcrumbs
Luring the tired traveller inwards
With the promise of the instant gratification
Of every whim known to man

The door swings open at my touch
I clutch eagerly at the outstretched hand
That twirls me into an enthralling dance
The charming stranger with flashing eyes
And an enchanting smile pulls me to him
The music ever louder ever wilder
Mesmerises me catching me in its web
I am lost in the dream drunk on the thrill

A patchwork chaos of images
Flickers in front of my shifting gaze
My feet cannot keep time to his melody
His demands exceed my human frame
Is there fire in those eyes horns on that head
The dance floor begins to dissolve in flame
Smoke drizzles upwards to cloud my vision
With one desperate snap I break his hold

I awake to a misty grey dawn
My body slumped stiff and sore
On the icy cold paving stones
But I lift my head to greet the day
Grateful for the breath in my lungs
The tears on my cheeks
The freedom in my heart
The solid road beneath me

A close escape a disaster averted
A lesson marked and learned
If you choose to dance with the devil
You will surely wind up in hell

Hey you there you’re supposed to care
Sign my petition donate to my cause
How can you ignore the plight of the innocent
You have so much to be grateful for
You must feed all the starving
You must clothe all the poor
You must heal all the sick
You must fight for peace in war torn lands
You must save our plant
This is your moral imperative
Act always for the common good
Feel the weight of your good fortune
Carry the boulder of received guilt
On shoulders already bowed and bent
How dare you talk of your own needs
When you already have so much

Headline news! Headline news!
‘Social media trolls greet the death
Of unvaccinated people with jubilant celebration, as if they themselves never made
A bad judgment call.’
Says it all about the sick world we live in.
May all the departed rest in peace’
How did it come to this
How did we reach compassion overwhelm
When did caring become an expectation
A denial of individual freedom
A denial of the suffering of some
Because it is not the right suffering
I want to care I really do
I love our beautiful world and her people
But I am powerless to save them all

In the end we all live in pain
It comes in all shapes and sizes
So don’t cry for me and I won’t cry for you
Love me and I will love you back
With simple acts of kindness
We will find a way to endure
We will go on on with our lives
We will heal and grow stronger

Cold it’s so cold out here outside
In the atmosphere of icy isolation
The exile an inevitable consequence
Of a life built on dishonesty
Each tiny falling snowflake
A reminder of past mistakes
I catch them as they drift downwards
If only the memories would melt as easily
Icicles poised to pierce the lie
If I should dare to utter it
In a brazen moment of self denial
Of the life of deceit I have been living
Body shaking world shaking
Shivering denizen of nightmare
Thin layers of reality no protection
Against the demons stalking my sanity
Along these deserted alleyways
Claws ready to shred my soul
Exposing the rotten core to the chill
Feasting gluttonously on the fear
Never to be sated
It will never be enough

Light there is light up ahead
Seeping out onto the street
Frosty cobblestones sparkling
Reflecting back the starry points
A rainbow concealing a *** of hope
That spills out into the mist
What stops me from picking up that hope
And tucking it into my coat pocket
Safely stowed for the future
Precious protection from my misery
Windows with opaque glass
Divided by dark leaded lines
Tall imposing red brick walls
Patterned with black beams
A wooden door studded with wrought iron
Invite me to share the comforting warmth within
But my frozen hand cannot turn the handle
An alien stranger vacuum sealed
Trapped in a foggy miasma of pain
Unable yet to grasp her freedom
Cut off from a happiness
She does not yet desire or deserve

Name it princess he said
Anything your heart desires
I will gift it to you
Because your desires
Are my desires
I am yours to command
If you want strawberries in winter
Plump with spring rain
Blushing with summer sun
Spilling out sweet juice
They are yours
If you want crisp cool ice
Jagged edges melting smooth
Droplets spiking warm skin
In the summer heat
It is yours all yours
I will pluck the moon
From the dark midnight
So you may bathe
In its reverent glow
And scatter a carpet
Of stars at your feet
So that their light
May worship you as I do
In all your resplendent glory
Goddess of the night
I will kneel before you
My only aim to please you
He whispers it to her
In honeyed tones golden and sweet
Pouring out seductive persuasion
I will gift it to you
Anything your heart desires
Name it princess he said

I desire to be loved she said
Loved beyond measure and imagining
Never to be abandoned or betrayed
Make me your goddess
Put me on the highest of pedestals
So high only you can reach
For I am yours alone
Fetch me the world
And spread it before me
Let the feast of adoration begin
Squander every moment
To ensure my happiness
To ensure my security
Fix me she begged
And I will fix you in return
Every broken piece of us
Will be gathered together
And mended with pure gold
So much more now
Than it ever was
I will bend myself into any shape
If that is your wish
Your happiness is my happiness
Colour my reality with a rainbow
So it is no longer beige
Dull and unfulfilling
Thrill me and enthrall me
Ride the rollercoaster of excitement
Imprison me in exhilaration
So that I never feel lonely again
Reassure me constantly that I am
Never to be abandoned or betrayed
Loved beyond measure and imagining
I desire to be loved she said

The world of codependence
A fantasy land of unboundaried desire
She the prey he the hunter
She vulnerable a victim of self deceit
He attuned to the vulnerability
Faking a future that will never be
And so infinitely plausible to her
Until the day she realises
She has been betrayed
It was nothing but a cruel sham
A cunning construct
To imprison her in her desires
His poison seeps into her bones
Stealing away her peace
Her head a battleground for her instincts
Where her fear and rage run wild
Anger blazes deep within her
White hot showering sparks
Reaching into corners
That are better left in darkness
Thinking thoughts she never knew
She could begin to shape
Driving her to places from
Which escape did not seem possible
Destroying her fragile sanity
Destroying who she thought she was
Until the day she cried enough
I am not a victim I am not your prey
This toxic desire is not for me
I need healthy boundaries
I reject the world of codependence
I do not fear being alone
I will find my happiness within
I am always enough

Time floats across the sky
Trailing a ribbon of stars
In its wake
I clutch at the ribbon
Breathe in the silver dust
Hoping for a solution
In my eternal dance
Twisting and turning
To a silent beat
Escaping the past
Chasing the future
Missing the present
I can’t undo the ribbon
Tied by time around
The gift of this moment
Not in my universe does
Silver star magic
Open the time portal
Try as I might
I am anchored by twin chains
Mistakes of the past
Twisted links of shame and guilt
Fear of the future
Of losing my dreams
Of losing myself
No stability to tie me to now
A battleground of instincts
Restless and discontent
Watching through
the bottom of a glass
As time floats across the sky

Imposing double gates
From a time long past
Wrought in iron
To tall sharp points
And intricate curlicues
Black paint peeling
Away in layers
Revealing the grey
Of the metal beneath
Coated with rust
That stains my hand
The colour of old blood
As I push them open
To the sound of hinges
Echoing with a creak through
The cobbled courtyard

Uneven the stones
Beneath my tired feet
Damp and mossy
I tread carefully forward
Into the silence
It crushes me
With the weight of centuries
Tree branches guard chiselled stones
Testaments to the dead
Measures of lives
Well lived on this Earth
Messages of love
Tokens of grief and loss
Fading soon to dust
Where they were laid
But the memories never die

I hesitate briefly gazing upward
At the church
Timeless in its purpose
A crenellated clock tower
Gold hands on black face
Marking the passage of the hours
And once upon a time
Its bell tolled with solemn intent
Inviting all to pray together
Thick solid walls crafted from
Stone hewn from local quarries
Rough once now weathered
Standing the test of the years
Untroubled by change
The desertion to the secular life
Nor yet by men’s wars


Gargoyles captured mid cackle
Cavort near the roof top
Brandishing pitchforks
Grotesque misshapen bodies
Ugly of face and nature
Demons waiting to trap
The unwary sinner
With silken promises
Whispered in dulcet tones
But poised in anticipation of
Leading him down to hell
Down the wide road
Paved with good intentions
Ignoring the narrower path
Down to eternal torment
In the fiery pit

I stand at the door wooden studded
I turn the ring of iron
Opening it slowly inward
Inside pews and pulpit
Carefully carved of dark wood
Worn gently smooth in places
By humans kneeling at their prayers
I kneel down here like those before me
Memorials to the nobility of the Parish
Etched in the stone at my feet
And now sunlight spills softly
Through windows of stained glass
Casting multicoloured shadows
Here in this atmosphere of peace
My fear dissipates
And I feel miracles can happen

Crazy the world has gone crazy
The boundaries of normality
Pushed back by painful inches
Until the greedy mile is taken
The water has warmed
One degree at a time
To boil the unwary frog

Looking back who knew
That this is where it would end up
Gradual descent down
The ***** of complacency
Ask no questions obedient acceptance
Freedom bargained for
the illusion of safety

Gaslight creeps across the globe
Country to country
Bringing chaos in its wake
Manifestations of fear come
Knocking on door of sanity
No peace for the good
Prey for the wicked

My gaze unyielding
I look without hesitation
Into the reflections
Of my own darkness
Rejecting those demons
That have grown too comfortable
In my head

There be dragons
Lurking in the unknown
Territory uncharted
Set adrift without a roadmap
Look the new normal in the eye
Stare it down with confidence
Reclaim my freedom