Here the blank sheet of paper
Stubbornly it remains empty
Pristine slightly off white lined
Waiting for a word or twenty

White the shade of nothingness
Can not pique my interest
If it wanted to entice
It has surely failed the test

Perhaps if it were softly blue
And with pretty flowers edged
From my lazy hazy head
A few lines might be dredged

Possibly a shade of pink
Suits my mood a little better
Tempting thoughts out of my head
But I can’t form a single letter

All the colours of the rainbow
Could explode before my eyes
Still my pen will lie untouched
No poem will be my prize

Yet many ideas are swirling
Desperate to be expressed
Jostling for my attention
Each one claiming they’re the best

I can sense letters fighting
Tumultuous in their rage
Waiting for me to unfurl
Their shapes across the page

Spiky harsh consonants
With soft round vowels vying
To turn into this poets words
Write me first they are crying

All at once I seek some order
My mind must be organised
But each time I succeed in this
I still find myself surprised

The dance of inspiration
Draws with a flourish to its end
One idea has crystallised
And this poet grasps her pen

Conversations for a new age

Mummy what happened to Granny?

She got locked up

But why Mummy?

She wanted to be free

But why Mummy?

She didn’t want to wear a mask

But masks keep us safe Mummy. Good people wear masks. Isn’t Granny good?

Yes Granny is good but she wanted to be free. They say she’s dangerous

But why Mummy?

Because she won’t get her vaccination. That’s why they locked her up

But vaccinations keep us safe Mummy. Good people get vaccinations. Isn’t Granny good?

Yes Granny is good but she wants to be free. Free to choose. They say she’s dangerous

But why Mummy?

She wants use real money and it’s *****.

But digital currency keeps us safe Mummy. Good people use digital currency.  Isn’t Granny good?

Yes Granny is good but she wants to be free. Free to think for herself and not depend on technology. They say she’s dangerous

But why Mummy?

Because she remembers a world where life wasn’t ruled by technology and she was free not to be tracked and monitored. They say she’s dangerous

But Mummy technology keeps us safe. Good people use technology. Isn’t Granny good?

Yes Granny is good but she wants to save the planet from pollution. They say she’s dangerous

But Mummy Granny isn’t dangerous. She loves me.

No Granny isn’t dangerous. She wants to be free. She wants everyone to be free to choose and think for themselves. She wants the world to have clean air, earth and water. So they locked her up

Life is measured in moments
In every breath that I take
The choices and decisions
That I find so tough to make

The fear that will hold me back
And keep me stuck in one place
Because I know deep inside me
There’s a future too hard to face

The fear of leaving childhood
And entering an adult world
Behind me lies the playtime
Of being a little girl

The fear of expectation
To meet predestined goals
To dance to another’s tune
Knowing that it kills my soul

The fear of giving up my dreams
Of the person I could become
All stifled with these few words
I know best because I’m your mum

Knowing when to say goodbye
To accept that things must change
Nothing stays the same forever
To admit that feels so strange

Life is measured in heartbeats
In every step that I take
A sure and certain knowledge
That I will make more mistakes

The fear of having to move on
Of the demons I must fight
The struggle for serenity
That keeps me awake at night

The fear of having to let you go
Though I know that it is time
The painful understanding
You weren’t meant to be mine

The fear of feeling lonely
When my children have all gone
The nest is quiet and empty
It no longer seems like home

The fear of a loved one’s passing
That our ending will come soon
I sit here in the darkness
My heart crying out to the moon

Knowing when to say goodbye
To accept it’s time to part
The hardest lesson of life
How to heal a broken heart

Adrift in a new reality
Slowly I’m losing my grip
A demon sits on my shoulder
Waiting for my guard to slip

The dark of evil surrounds me
Painting a nightmare land
Spreading doom and disaster
With a cruel uncaring hand

Quenching the fire in my soul
With a steady flow of hate
Beating me into submission
Until accept my fate

Robbing my heart of love
Until I have nothing to give
Empty devoid of emotion
I have no reason to live

Calling to my deepest fears
Whispering in tones of spite
Driven to the edge of reason
I have no weapons to fight

Gone astray in my crazy head
No one comes when I shout
I can’t find the exit sign
Trapped here with no way out

Losing any will to live
Numbness seeps into in my limbs
I can’t hold out any longer
Is this how my death begins

No pills or ***** will aid me
Blank out your damning refrain
But if I name you my demon
I will find respite from pain

So I will seek out your name
To know you is to beat you
The knowing will set me free
To myself I can now be true

This was going to be my summer
The one when I learned to drive
Instead of my independence
I’m praying in fear for my life

This was going to be my summer
When exams were over and done
I was going to celebrate
With my friends and have loads of fun

This was going to be my summer
I was going to start my first job
My new beginning is cancelled
And I feel as if I’ve been robbed

This was going to be my summer
The one when I bought my first home
Now my plan is on hold
I feel so scared and alone  

This was going to be my summer
The one when I married my mate
We wanted a life together
Who knows how long we will wait

This was going to be my summer
To holiday with those I most love
But now I can’t leave my house
Unless I wear a mask and gloves

We have lost the warmth of summer
Its beauty is sad and remote
It’s only a slim consolation
Everyone is in the same boat

For now we are all locked down
Unless the work we do is key
We are trapped in prisons of comfort
Forgetting what it is to be free

We all miss friends and family
The joy they bring to our lives
We pray they are well and happy
That at the end they survive

We all live with shattered dreams
We struggle and feel we can’t cope
We dared to open Pandora’s box
Thank God we also found hope

There’s a present I can’t wrap
With my love so carefully
A present you will never open
That I can’t leave beneath our tree

There is no cheery message
In a card I won’t get to write
A bit of joy that I can’t give
To you on Christmas night

Now that you have left my life
Things will never be the same
I can’t simply pick up the phone
And hear you speak my name

You won’t say Merry Christmas
Or wish me Happy New Year
My heart feels sad and empty
Now you are no longer here

Today I can’t stop crying
You helped when things were rough
This first Christmas without you
I didn’t know it would be so tough

The year outside is dying
The wind howls and hurls rain
Inside I grieve to lose you
I’m not sure I can bear the pain

Yes I have happy memories
I can find some comfort there
Your life was worth the living
Though to part still seems unfair

I want God to give you back
I want you here with me
But you are always in my heart
And your soul can now fly free

Yes Christmas is coming
There is no escaping that
So please can you put a penny
In the poor old man’s hat

This quiet soul is starving
The government stole his pension
But he worked hard all his life
That never gets a mention

The MPs in Westminster
Drinking their cheap champagne
Vote to strip you of your rights
And make us all slaves again

But lo fear not one and all
For now Brexit will be done
And future generations
Are going to have some fun

We will be taking back control
Oh what a clever ploy
But control is only for the rich
The rest will be destroyed

The Christmas bells they ring out
But their message goes unheard
Please look after the weakest
And please yes feed the world

Outside the snow is falling
And I can’t hear any jingling bells
There is but a bleak midwinter
As our country goes to hell

So if you haven’t got a penny
I hope God will bless you
But if you want your pennies back
Then next time don’t vote blue.