Stop. your taking my breath away.
Things about you memorize me,
and I'm stuck thinking about you all day,
I still hope, your the one, holding the key
Unlock my heart, and open up yours.
All these nights away from you,
Could be opening new discoverable doors,
But with you, I feel like I can do,
anything.
Feeling light and free,
You may never realize,
You helped me.

8 milimeter camera
8 milimeter memory.
sneaking a finger,
maybe two,
with my sister
in the same tent.
Hope no one walks in
to ruin this I love you
moment.
Apartments, house, kids
easy as 1,2,3.
But more expensive than a New York Flat.

I hope this ol' train breaks down,
So I can see,
The inside of your mind sweetie,
Its opening up, one crack at a time.
One family member closer,
one 7 month closer.
Your mind, will forever be a maze,
And I will forever explore,
each word you spoke.
To much love for one world,
our love bleeds onto others.
These corners of your heart,
is just enough room for my findings.
Hold me closer, pin me down.
And never forever longer frown.
You have me, and you have my hands,
hold them, rub them, ring them left,
because you will have been a theft,
of my ever curious mind.
Mrs. CC, Baby Claire, and Coyote,
the names I never thought I'd hear,
from those nights in a red Corvette
to the days we spent,
much to far apart. Separate hearts,
Can make one love
with to many unworthy words,
and to much unwasted time,
and to many memories:
Baby I could spend a life time,
Folding away these late night memories,
into my deep rolling brain waves.
My dreams are lucky to be holding you.

If your voice was an island,
it wouldn't be Hawaii,
even with your warm breath and your soft touch,
it would be more like Iceland.
Your durable skin, and your sturdy mind,
your voice would be Iceland.
It cools me down, and it sometimes heats me up.
Much like a candle our love flickers and shines,
but it can also burn and hurt.
People always say love grows over distance,
but sometimes the distance grows to stress,
and sometimes the stress can grow into an island
and your relationship winds up being two beaches that never meet.
But our love will not do that.
Our love, will grow the forest in between,
our love will sustain.
Our love, will become like a statue
that doesn't wear like the greek ruins
or turn colors like the Liberty.
Although, right now it is just as simple as a daisy,
anything can destruct it, or simply pick it,
but nothing has, and soon we will grow into a field,
and others will look and see our love is
warm, soft, durable, and sturdy.

But these egale feathers
that grow under our skin,
someday with show,
and lift us far from
the life we live and
bring us to the life we choose.
Dress nice,
Dance *****.
My baby please dont leave me.
I've lost you once, I cant go again.
Abraham and Issac
one control, one for fear.
Funny, with us it always,
goes goes goes to the bible.
Take the fear,
that holds us back,
put it in a cages,
and throw it to the stars.
Make your wish
as it flies by
the planets moon.
I hold on to you
Neptune, big and blue.

Carve my heart, into yours.
The lights the sounds, the music
Sweeps me off my too high heels.
The Church sees the "X" on my hand,
They see my Tattoos and Scars.
They see me for me,
cracked, but not yet broken.
Next time don't judge,
Help.

The vines grow inside my body,
up from the ground, into my thighs,
down from the sky into my eyes.
It overcomes into my mind
warping and wraping until I find
my heart turned violent
inside of my chest.
The only thing untouched in this mess.
The vine it spreads
it goes and it heads
curving down going around,
my lungs look like overgrown gates.
Closed for the winder, and closed from hate.
The vine it reaches,
for my inmost being ceases
the part of my know one cares
the part of me I dare not share.
Calm, Cool, Collected me.
The people who watch
they think i am a statue.
Letting this vine,
make crime,
in my life. I guess they're right,
I dont want to nor do I fight.
The vine sprouts
up from the ground,
my warped mind, can't seem to decide,
Does the vine belong?
or should I bring it down.

Summer days consist of
you and adventures.
Summer nights consist of
reminiscing over those days.
Someday I will spend with you,
and some summer night,
I will reminisce with you.

We search for the secret places,
we make special places,
and we long for more places to go.
We have the privacy of
our own backyards,
and resort to the privacy of
our own closets,
and retreat to the privacy of
our own minds.
The darkest of secrets is shared
with nothing;
But our own private selves.

These graceful ballerinas,
seem to be so strong,
from high strung
chandeliers.
an eerie sight it is
to look upon society
at your finest, at your worst.
someday I want to join
these ballerinas,
on stage all is well,
perfectly placed and put together.
no one inquires
off stage.
how nice,
no personal life,
to worry about.

So rachet
So messy
Dont tap me
I'm shady.
You tap out
I'm crazy
I'm in
I'm covered
Dont steady me
I'll cheat you
I'll eat you
Don't doubt me
I'll prove you
I'm on you,
Your in me
Dont leave me
I'll find you
I'm bestest
I'm with you
I'm lady
I'm ******
Dont test me,
I'll fill you,
With my fist *****.

La-La-La-La-
choices, choices,
these flowers are hurting,
from the petals I am taking.
This back and forth,
making want to go North?
No, I'll stay, soak,
maybe smoke some some some dope.
Nope!
I want to make the change,
but I seem to be chained.
No ones help, No thanks,
I got this on my own,
I'm strong enough thank you.
This "I'm waiting" ring,
is making me tighter and tighter,
and he certainly is a fighter.
Call me Paul Bun-yun
I do what I want, young-
certainly until I'm dead.
******* stop messing with my head.
No easy fix,
this is going to take,
more than a couple cool trix.
I, like fingers in my mouth,
feeling ****, salty, and sweet.
*****, stay back if you don't want me;
(Opps,) on you.
Dancing away the mess,
in my now torn dress.
Stay back, I'm here-
To shake the world-
Gently,
                 is the last thing,
                                   on my mind,
                                                in my mouth,
                                                          ­  of my few words.

These Knights of shame
fell off their horses
at the beginning of war.
These nights of shame
at the point where her body is exposed.
These Knights of shame
whom rode through battle in fear of death,
instead of conquring death itself.
These nights of shame
when the drinks became to much.
These words are how I life my head,
in moments of the worlds shame.
This is my personal worship
when it's the Father and I.
These moutains are made of mere large grains
These bits of love are made form small acts.
These Knights of shame
are the guys I have fallen for before
these nights of shame
are something of my past.
I believe in a lot of things that might wind up
false.
But I can say that I have
Hope.
If you dont stand for anything
You are bound to fall for anything.

The tears blur my vision,
but I like it better this way,
I don't see this world,
for what it really is.

These painted butterfly wings,
won't get me very far,
and all of the trinkets and things
bring back memories of scars.
These middle school paper plains,
won't life me very high,
and all of these photos bring shame.
What weighs me down are the lies.
Inner beauty, and we still judge the cover,
read the Bible and follow rules,
**** all the boys and still looking for "One Lover"
love is cheap but I'm in for the jewles.
Like to much meat for one man to eat,
we bite off more than we can chew,
we always find some way to cheat.
Don't think I'm accusing you,
I'm just as deep in these worldly lies.
The only difference is I look past the smog,
I fly and go so high,
I'm out of the sickly fog.

What have these fairy tales made us afraid of?
Step moms and snakes?
there is more to life that living in fear,
And there is more to fear than being afraid.
Fear is a feeling of many natures and forms,
Including step moms and snakes.
Fear isnt only brought on by dark,
fear is in love too,
and fear is in hate.
Fear is in a butterflies first flight,
and fear is in our tummys,
when something is not right.
The Sound of Music showed us more than the sights of Austria,
It showed us how to sing,
Some times the fear is in what we already know.
Fear can control if you let it,
and after you see it,
its hard to forget,
But you can replace your with something bigger.
Bigger than the night time,
I am the stars.
I'm not in heaven, but when i'm
with you i'm
close.
You are faster than the night,
and sneakier than the clock ticking past noon.
On a Saturday, you are the Sunday afternoon.
The fear is less now.
You are ahead of my own thought,.
You know my bed,
You know i have zebra sheets,
and a red stain in the corner.
You know my body,
dimples and scars.
You know all the perfections, and defections.
The fear is less and less now.
Our kisses enable me to hear,
clocks ticking around the world.
you taste like...
words are to meager to describe.
There goes the fear,
There it goes,
out the window,
and into the hearts of those,
Step moms and Snakes.

Nightmares,
filled with shock and surprise.
****** from the heart and
Flung into the heart
of all things primordial.
This sun-kissed life
with nothing to do,
neither peace,
nor rest, or safety.
All, every moment of life,
for these dogs, "men"
they were savages,
the law of club and fang.
So, She was buried,
screaming with agony,
beneath the bristling mass
of "bodies" women, before.

Once, I heard them say
I am the night,
you are the day.
The midnight controlled.
Our bodies network together,
Spiderwebs are inspired through us.
no one can have, what we achieved.
So short on time,
but all those days,
I dressed for you.
The night hides the secrets
you have trusted with only me.
the day proves we are stronger
than any earthly force.
Religion Families, or Fear
they build us up, they tear us down.
But these egale feathers
that grow under our skin,
someday with show,
and lift us far from
the life we live, and
bring us too the life we choose.
Dress Nice,
Dance *****,
my baby please dont leave me.
I've lost you once I cant go again.
Abraham and Issac,
one control one fear,
funny with us it always,
goes goes goes to the bible.
take the fear
that holds us back,
put it in a cage, and throw it to the stars,
make your wish
as it flies by,
the planets moon.
I hold onto you
Neptune, Big and Blue
like my still beating heart.

Carving hearts,
opening them up,
melting them in each other.
holy love i feel with you.
never elave me again,
or i will forever be,
with out my other heart.
2 hearts make love,
1 love in,
I love you.
my heart melts to my lungs,
filling them with your scent.
never leave me again.

Summer, wind, earth, body,
words that sweep me off my feet.
fourteener, lakes, sunsets,
things that catch my breath.
car crashes, deaths, movies,
things that make me cry.
jokes, messy hair, tripping,
things that make me laugh.
holy cow, you.
you swept me off my feet,
you made me cry,
but you came back,
and you made me happy.
"your almost perfect,
and i'm a ***".
you said.
but i said,
you take the wheel, and take me away.
lets run,
run away?
run toward,
run for
something.

the melodramatic beating
of one in the next room breathing
in-out-in-out-
it makes the house
have a pulse,
that kieeps you up for hours
until your body shuts down,
your eyes shut,
and the beating, breathing,
is simply your heart
giving you a rhythm
to your dreams.
when the moons amber liquidness
melts into your house
through the windows and forgotten unlocked doors,
filling it and making itself into pictures
and hanging around, of old memories,
in broken flames and broken clocks.
clocks clocks, tick tok tick tok...
didnt you ever think clocks want a different beat.
havent you heard, rabbits and turttles,
can fall in love too?
dont you ever consider
the possibility, that it is not
going to work out?
that things in this world,
dont go smoothly.
that is still no reason
to give up.
find a different beat,
find a new lover,
just dont leave,
just dont give up.

Summer days consist of
you and adventures.
Summer night consist of
reminiscing over those days.
Some day I will spend with you,
and some summer night,
I will reminisce with you.

I'm in my room
and all alone.
I'm wearing your old flannel
the one with character.
Its pouring rain.
The most depressing thing,
of those facts above,
is not one of them says,
I'm dancing in the rain.

when the love we share
is the love of a prayer
there is not much else we can say
but,
Boston stay strong.
Hate stay week.
Love grow tall.
and People keep protecting.

Oh no,
how I shamefully fell.
Just this weekend,
I have become more than, "friend"
this weekend, I fell
I came out of my shell,
I started to like you,
it grew and grew.
I didn't say anything to you,
not sure if...
well, I'm just not sure of you.
my trust has been weakened,
from the men before burdened.
Baby it wasn't you,
baby it was me,
I faulted right at the knee.

My muscles feel like the are,
draped over my bones.
So slow and not willing to work.
People don't seem to notice,
because my face is painted on,
morning, and removed at night.
So raw when nothing is covering
the scars people have made.
on MY body.

I dont want to hear,
the words;
songs. Your voice speaking through them.
I'm trying to forget,
I'm trying not to care,
Getting, going, away.
Driving my wheels fall off
with or with out you,
my heart is,
                                                Heavy and
into DEEP.

I wake up,
in a sweat,
in a rush,
bile at my throat,
and you on my mind.
dreams or nightmares
who knows, who cares?
when you enter my dream,
whether it be our first kiss,
under the sheets,
over the sheets,
in my pants,
in your pants
tossing and turning,
WAKE ME UP!
i dont want to remember,
nights where we tried dominos
but you kept knocking them over.
nights where we watched a scary movie,
got frozen ice cream,
and made love to each other,
in ways that seemed they would last forever.
but, i should have noticed.
you never said forever,
you said this line,
i will always question,
"No spark from the beginning."
if there wasnt for you,
then what made you think
you could own me,
and try to show me,
what love...
doesnt mean.
love is give and take,
love is rain on a date.
but we wont get into what love means,
since you never said
it to me anyways.

I hate emotion,
It drives me wild.
Like getting an abortion,
you broke me like a small child.
I love the down trodden,
the make the help worth it.

I have lived through 3 suicides,
and limitless unexpected deaths.
I have been in courts,
that only end with "guilty".
I have shared deep convicting connections,
that can never be repeated with others.
What has my body become?
My flesh is smothered with boys oils,
My heart has been replaced by mechanics,
stuck on one same beat,
My kisses have become wasted,
no longer special to me or others.
Thats only the physical.
LOVE.
How do I believe in you anymore?
Speaking of which,
when did love become approval?
When Love did you become a law?
Dry your tears child,
life is to short for so much sorrow.
How do you climb out of this depressing pit?
Laughter, God, Music.
And possibly in that order.

dress nice,
dance *****.
please whisper,
that you love me.
I only know,
is that you don't
ever show,
your true self.  
you sleep on a mattress
on the floor.
And never answer
the questions i ask.
to be honest,
i get nervous
when you smile.
mystery,
unravel
yourself.

Here in my,
Candyland,
This Snickers Bar,
it satisfies,
but it certainly doesnt,
sustain.
Much like a man
who loves you, one summer,
but as winter comes,
he goes,
with the leaves.
I keep talking,
thinking, and
repeating,
"guys leave me."
like a baby,
with nothing to do but cry.
I have left,
my fair share,
broken hearts at least once.
And I'm about,
to do it again.

Breath in,
Breath out,
they say,
the sedation will feel heavy,
or did they say,
seduction?
Remember what he does,
when your asleep?
He waits,
for a dream,
soon it will come true.
But after it comes true,
the dishes will be cleared,
the laughter will die,
the guests will leave,
and the makeup will be removed.
Every night will still be the same,
dreaming up,
a new dream,
of riding this old town,
right out.

I'm falling,
hotter and hotter,
I'm falling,
with the stars,
Freer and freer.
I'm throwing,
harder and harder,
I'm throwing
my anchor to the moon,
steadier and steadier.
I'm not going down yet,
staying and staying,
I'm watching from up here,
the snow falling heavier each year,
lighter and lighter.
The snow on the trees,
it always helps me see,
clearer and clearer.
Have you heard,
when the snow falls,
the sounds are soaked,
into each crystal
on the flake.
creating an image
stronger and stronger
than words.
The stars they fall,
The moon it catches,
The snow flakes show,
all the steps to love.
Closer and Closer.

Here I was,
waiting, wishing, hoping,
for the songs to start,
for you to sweep me,
right off my feet.
But the music,
it has been playing,
all night.
Here we were,
waiting, wishing, hoping,
for each other.

you were always so good,
at writing books,
so good that you would
write stories that shook
me right to tears.
You knew how too,
use just the right words
twist, distort, and skew
my thoughts in to overgrown woods
you could write another book,
how to offend a girl,
in 5 syllables or less.

Mystery of my past,
why to you stay on me like a cast?
Mystery of my future,
I try at you like a shooter
in the fog.
Mystery of my present,
I wonder if I will resent-
What I do now,
and they way of how-
I do things,
will haunt my future,
good or bad.

Doctor, Doctor, I need help,
The movie stars tears,
They aren't real.
Doctor, Doctor, I need help,
My heart is aching,
And I think I felt,
It dropped to the Pits,
And it won't get out.
Doctor, Doctor, help!
I can't wait much longer,
I'm confused, and I wander,
Into the dark alone,
I dont wanna go home.
Doctor, Doctor,
I'm all out of breath,
I have been running and running,
from death.
You will have to listen
Listen to my heart.
But I asure you,
Every beat will say,
Doctor Doctor....
Help.

I am rich in love,
I am poor in money.
I am ***** in cowgirl boots,
I am clean in high heels.
But enough about me,
what about you?
You are strong in wisdom,
and strong in arms.
Your opinion counts,
even though I hate it sometimes.
You can draw anything,
you can imagine even more.
You told me lies,
that I still believe today.
I love you all the time,
but I only like you sometimes.
You are like an old lab,
and I am a puppy.
This poem isn't for a lover,
it is for you,
Kirk.
My older brother,
the one who is annoyingly,
always right.

You told me, before you left,
to do something different and crazy.
Oh, honey... You have no clue,
what you inspired me to do.
I will dive off a tall ledge,
you were always so afraid being close to the edge
in reality its only a small ridge.
I will dye my hair, a deep red
always something I wanted to do,
but, of course you didn't want me too.
Maybe I will even get dreads,
(okay I would probably never do that to my head
but I do like it on other people).
I will pierce my nose,
just so that it shows.
I will pierce my belly-button,
because I know you liked that a ton.
I will dive into the deep end of the pool,
and I will think I'm just so cool,
with out you.
I will run away to a different state,
plan my own fate,
I refuse to any longer, wait.
I can do all this, and have nothing to loose,
its not like I'm ever going back to you.

Who are you?
Boy of my dreams could it be?
We weave moments that make an invisible future.
The hands on the clock freeze
when I'm with you
you describe the great that I need.
So perfectly,
Together. And then another girl you see
Forever and Always fades away
Days we had, now a mangled cobweb of dreams.
Ever since that day,
you lead me right to dismay
thought we were a team,
You take my heart to the limit
why do I stay?

love can fill your
heart
but it can never be
apart
from who is for
you
when you believe they are
true
rust turns
pure
hate turns
clear
and all
before
turns to something
more
and when he
knelt
all you
felt
undescribed.

Covered in love
straight from above
but love turns
to aches, burns
our hearts empty
where Satans tempting
of wanting more
than evver before
ship wreck shore.
spinning, spinning, motions
sweet soft lotions
turn to ball rooms
then come fumes
crystal mixed limes
shattered with crims
you turn to theft
we never left,
ship wreck shore.
i get lost
windows covered frost
green peering eyes
innocent of lies
you finally beaten
my heart, defeated
but maybe more,
ship wreck shore.
from this far
it seems hard
at first glance
boats are ants
trees are swaying
from our music playing
pens filling pages
my love cages
wanting to love more
on ship wreck shore.

I want to settle down,
wont you settle down with me??
the man of my dreams,
he is tall and strong,
he is Check,
and from California.
He wants to major in English,
and become a teacher,
he loves his family,
and especially his sister.
he can draw... stick figures.
he is witty, and suitable for me.
but you,
you are better than the man of my dreams.
you are better,
because you are real.
i can hold you,
i can kiss you,
i can see your blemishes and scars,
and they make you
better,
because they make you real.

Seems like there's always
someone who disapproves,
they judge us like they know
how we used to steal
your parents liquor
and climb to the roof,
we will keep all our promises
be us against the world,
baby, be mind tonight,
say yes,
if you get this kind of rush
every time we touch.
who will love you?
who will fight?
who will fall far behind?
i dont want to be someone,
who walks away so easily,
i'm here to stay.
make the difference i can make,
marmalade, we're makin out,
dont make me tongue tied,
when i look into your eyes
its like watching the night sky,
or a beautiful sunrise.
oh, your a shooting star,
like Peter Pan up in the sky,
these lights will guide you home,
and ignite your bones
and i will try to fix you
my eyes on your eyes
dont wave no good bye,
my, green eyes,
your the one i wanted to find,
anyone to deny you
is out of their mind.
honey, you should know
i could never go with out you;
i could write a song,
a hundred miles long,
talk about our future like we had a clue,
but i will be your girl,
thats where i belong,
here in your arms,
and you belong with me.
not swallowed by the sea.
the water is rough,
the stakes are high,
but this love is ours,
you cant replace it with a million rings.
i have died everyday,
just waitng for you,
Darling don't be afraid
i came here with a load
and it feels so much lighter
now that i met you,
one step closer
honey you should know
i have loved you for a thousand years
i could never go on
with out you.

Last night I cried,
I cry, cry, for 3 hours.
Last night I tried,
I try, try, to tell the truth.
But, I could only lie,
I lied, lied, because even I,
couldn't face the truth.
The snow, it falls,
It fell, fell, and I thought,
God gave me this heart to love,
To love, love, him.
Next to return and I gave,
To give, give, this love
to the world.
The turning of the tide,
My tides, tides, are coming fast,
and I can finally lift my heavy,
These heavy, heavy, ribs
and my heart is beaten,
No... beating, beating, light red blood.
My lungs have more breath,
To breathe, breathe, from your lips,
sometimes my air is short,
but you fill me with more,
more, more, joy, love, and peace,
the way I've shown,
And show, show, my love
is being positively
overwhelmed with life,
live, live, life goes on.

"If we were young, we would rise and dance."
spoken like a true poet Daisy,
I always knew you were the one for Gatsby.
But, I have one request,
where is my millionaire??
Do you have some Gatsby to share?
How come my lonely nights,
are never like the stories that I read?
like the snow on my windshield,
the future feels heavy and light.
hooks and threads weave in and out
wrapping my 18 year story into
one pretty bow.
Someday I hope to be,
that green light some "Gatsby" sees
across the ocean and far away-
is where I am going to stay-
until then, I will be a fool,
that's the best thing a girl can be in this world,
a beautiful little fool.

The imprints on this page
from the memories before
The finger prints left
of the lives before,
everything is done for something.
I'm trapped in my own world,
but its so comfortable,
my brain doesn't tell
the feet they will be walking tomorrow.
Tomorrow may bring more drama,
Tomorrow will bring more death,
Ugh, more drama from death,
and still no one to show, true sadness,
The age for dying
at least in this FoCo town,
is younger and younger.
The heart beats of humanity
its all nonsense, its only nonsense
getting in these horrible routines-
these horrible stereotypes-
this routine of instant love-
becomes, instant forget-
this stereotype of Christian-
becomes "Go to church".
I will drive and wait for a storm
to come and take us all away-
until I realize,
once you find your true friends
nothing seems so scary.
I am crying with my pillow,
I am laughing with my tears,
I am singing with my hands,
I am praying to my Lord-
all the sound my heart can make-
except the-
lub
dub
lub
dub
heart lungs brain, smiles.
Smile... all I ever wanted-
was to be your smile
But I'll leave and be someone elses-
I am not the hound that hunts,
but the one who fills the cry.
Is it depressing?- or Inspirational-
the people live like they could die-
tomorrow.
tomorrow is Thursday,
another day to be "christian"-
in this world everyone is
"christian".
Christianity is all eagles and wings and lions,
but really, I just am lyin'-
to my family, to my friends-
but wouldn't it be worse for I to lie-
to me, than anyone else?
finally all my thoughts-
down and out.

I tried so hard,
to get you back up,
the world needed someone,
who could show them,
the happiness I knew only you had.
I opened you up
one day at a time;
so you could see
how happy the world can be.
But I didn't know
you would just up and go,
go out on your own,
oh, how I should have known.
You weren't on your own.
Simply with some one new,
Now after the fact, everything I do,
seems so fake and old.
These sad thoughts
pour out of me like time bombs,
give me no time to run
and explode with YOU in my face.
With my tears
wiped with my fingers,
I draw unknown designs,
along my pillow case,
Instead I wish you were here,
to wipe them away for me.
Wait... If you were here,
In the first place
I wouldn't be crying.

Is this really all I have-
to look forward too-
my Starbucks coffee-
my cold hard run every morning?
to wake me up,
and let me know,
I'm still alive.
how sad I must be!
But it is me
who keeps finding the trap door,
and opening the door,
and stepping back
and getting a running start.
it isn't anyone but I
in this dark room
falling deeper and deeper in this gloom
time to climb out,
one level at a time,
until I again am mine.