I don't get what you see
Maybe I'll never understand.
But you don't get it either.
When I look in the mirror
It isn't me
There is no me.
You see strength,
I see nothing.
I'm dying inside,
You believe the mask I wear.
You think you know me
But how could you?
When I don't even know myself.

Sitting alone in your room
The late hours of the night
The early hours of the morning.
Not being able to tell if  your eyes sting
Because you’re tired
Or if it’s
Because you cried out all fluids
Or if it’s
Because you still need to cry.
Those lustrous beads welling up
Needed to escape for so long.
And the inky black darkness bordering you
Makes it hard to look past whatever it is
You want to cry about.
And after being torn down so violently
And so fast,
Healing
Is the hardest part.
Your mind becomes nomadic.
It wanders around every memory
Every mistake
Every impression.
Fractured scenes
And dimmed pasts
Find their way
Looming over my ponderous mind.
And still I envision a perfect world
In which no one makes mistakes
And where no one gets hurt.
And my soul tugs at me to go there
But sometimes
It’s better to just
Forgive
And
Love
And then
Eventually heal.

It sparked my interest
caught my eye
the glittering deception
of a living lie
frozen and captured
where the light shone far too bright
and blinded me
looking back, it was brief
everything I thought he wasn’t
has caused me so much grief

sometimes i feel i am standing in middle of a desert
and everything is unknown and unkind to me
everything is phantasm noting is real
when  get closed it disappear  
i remain in the middle of this desert

There is a wildness still in England that will not feed
In cages; it shrinks away from the touch of the trainer's hand,
Easy to ****, not easy to tame. It will never breed
In a zoo for the public pleasure. It will not be planned.

Do not blame us too much if we that are hedgerow folk
Cannot swell the rejoicings at this new world you make -
We, hedge-hogged as Johnson or Borrow, strange to the yoke
As Landor, surly as Cobbett (that badger), birdlike as Blake.

A new scent troubles the air -- to you, friendly perhaps
But we with animal wisdom have understood that smell.
To all our kind its message is Guns, Ferrets, and Traps,
And a Ministry gassing the little holes in which we dwell.

I'm lost at sea
feelings flowing
Waves that cant leave
It's killing me
Your here but so far
These waves of feelings don't reach you
You are air and I am water
We can never be together
I'm sinking  
But you cant reach me
I am lost at sea

she liked

the idea of

being consumed

she sometimes dreamed of

being devoured

by the dark

and then she’d wake up

and realize

it wasn’t a

dream

There is cake.
The cake is here
on a plate
right in front of me.

I do not need the cake.
I want the cake.
I want it bad.
I really really really want this cake.

I could reach out
devour it in 10 seconds flat
10 seconds of caramel filled
spongy ecstasy

Then I'll feel bad.

I don't think I'll have the cake.