Noah wrote Allie one letter everyday for a year.
And you cant take the time to text me and tell me whether or not I need to keep trying
Why the **** is it so hard to let me down easily.

I love you to pieces
And that's where I've found myself
In pieces
Let's make peace of this
I wish you had become the serendipity I was hoping for but that's the thing
You can't look for serendipity
It's in the definition
But you defined me
You'll find me under the willow tree where we met
Wallowing in the self hatred and alcohol

But I know you won't come looking for me
You'll be reminding me that you always closed your eyes because you couldn't stand staring back at me
I wasn't the pretty you were hoping for
Just a place to park your manhood for a few nights

During the warfare of words
No matter what slander you bombard me with
All I'll ever have to say  about you
Is that "I loved him"

People always ask me why I never attend school
I want to tell them "I'm too emotionally vacant to care"
"I know I'm not destined for great things" I'd announce
"I'll be dead before I'm 20,
I have no kids to look forward to
and no desire to marry"
So why should I spend 13 years of my life cooped up
Learning the value of x
when I cant even find value in waking up in the morning.

i remember when i met you for the very first time
and i thought i was going to cry
because you were so beautiful and you. weren't. mine.
and i had to go along pretending everything was fine
and i had to go along acting like it was okay
that you weren't mine and
i remember kissing your cheek and wishing it was your lips...
and i remember how it nearly was when my mouth slipped
and i remember how tall you were compared to me
and the way your mouth curled up whenever you looked at me
and i remember how we had a chemistry that he couldn't dream
of making with every element in the world
and how i just wanted to be your girl
i remember when you and i first hung out alone
and how it was to hear your voice outside of the phone
and i remember how it was to breathe you in
and how
i never wanted to be alone again

I took my time today.
I walked the way I used to walk with you,
not worrying about where the next step took me.
I missed two buses.
I got home half an hour late.
Or early.
It doesn’t matter anymore,
everything is relative.
Next week will be this week.
Yesterday is already tomorrow.
I’ve always heard that time is cruel;
too quick when you want it,
too slow when you don’t.
I’m not really sure what to think anymore,
because it’s been three months,
but I still think about you every day.