A caress,
    A captivating touch,
    A smile gone.
      Unmissed
    But not resented.
    What remains?
     The burden
     Or the freedom?
    That I no longer wish
    For such affection.

when I looked for answers
   you said to be careful
   you said that my faith
was in peril when questioned
you mentioned
   that my "search for truth" was in error
   that all that awaits
is a terrible lesson
you said without God
   there can be no forgiveness
   that evil within us
would go unabated
you stated
   that people were eager to live in
   an unashamed place
that was morally vacant

your liqueur stenched breath
poured past dark yellow teeth
thick with cigarette stains
and your eyes full of grief
as you pleaded with me
to be careful
when I looked
for answers

i slept
  for twenty years and then awoke to wonder why.

i fell asleep for twenty more,
  awoke, let out a sigh,

then slept again for thirty five more years.
  now here i lie,

a man who slept my whole whole life through, i lay awake
  to die.

Let me trace an arc of longing on the softest, sweetest parts of you.
Make the sounds that I will replay
Over and over again, every time I am alone.

Build a circle of seduction
With whispered explicits, your tongue, and your arms.
Let me climb inside.

Pull me closer.
Place your hands behind my knees,
And slowly, firmly, raise them higher.
Make me tremble,
I'm on fire.

Sweep my dress from my shoulders,
Let your fingers find
Bullet-*******,
Squeeze, tease, grind.

I will get down on my knees and beg,
I always will.

I will get down on my knees
Strategically,
Knowing what you want from me.

Make me helpless
And laugh, softly, at my complete
Exposure.

Tell me what to do, everything you want,
I will comply.
Free me from myself,
Enslave me to your will,
Make me cry.

Give me what I want.
Give me what you want,
Oh, please,
Tease, tease.

i have found my words again
31 miles from you, half asleep
drunk words of encouragement - you are everything between stuck zippers and pulled hair