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After a session of intense love making,
                they concluded, life is a dreamy walk,
    through hazy days and smoky nights.
                In  days of youth, passing through, intense yearnings,
                            body is in a flight, often,
               to reach the unreachable, with no sense of the real.

         Having no wings,
                         body has to inevitably accept defeat,
           she pants and gets up, he too with a sense of loss.
                             The night has at last quiet moments
                they hold hands,with innocence,
                        of unspoiled kids, lust laid to rest, for now,
                  and then, as days pass they slowly realize,
                             stillness of spirit holds secrets,
                                     more valuable than all the riches.
*Life, now they come to think,
           is a self immolation,
              a sacrifice every being passes through;
on a slow fire of logs,
   love, lust, hate and greed,
ambitions and desires that
     become ash as day progresses,
some splinters of scented wood, sandal is very rare,
the rest cheap ones, that would turn carbon and ash.
"how bout a goodnight kiss?"
maybe if i had another sip of the liquid jolly rancher
or maybe if it had
been a
dream.
your callused hands were never mine to hold.
please, don't stare at me,
i need a place for this bucket of salt,
and you need a doctor for your wounds.
(i can't lick them up anymore)
"just a peck on the cheek, okay?"
still too much.
(i saw your heart throbbing in the flesh)
the sticky red, under my fingernails
persistent,
like you.
i was never yours.
i was never
yours.
I adore everything about you.
And I hate that I do.
Because it makes everything harder.

It makes me shake.
I can't even write a euphonious poem anymore because the thoughts in my mind are no longer so.
You're absolutely everything to me, yet, in all honesty, you're nothing.

It's that slightly shorter tooth.
It's that dimple in your chin.
It's that smirk I know you make when you like something I say.

It's when you said you'd like to steal my lips.
It's that moment when you said you'd dream of me after I sang for you.
It's that time you said my skin drives you mad when you think about it.

It's how you're the only one who knows about the hidden devil.
It's about how you love the way my tongue illustrates words bewilderingly so.
It's the way you want my mind just as much as my body.

It's about how you love dinosaurs and your dog.
It's the way you message me 4:00 in the morning with only a heart and a smiley face.
It's how I would do absolutely anything for you.

Like a drug, how I would sell my soul for just one more hit.
It's a lie, when I tell myself I love someone else.
It's the truth, when I say I would wait my whole life loving and waiting just for you.

It's how I pour my heart out this way,
Knowing,
I can never have you.
He must never see this.
We are, when bruised by some new qualm,
capable of human knowing;
indebted to the open palm.

Some trials, surely, test our charm -
are we sane, still? Life is showing
we are, when caught in some new qualm.

So someone's hand has brought us harm?
Violent smashes; hateful throwing
indebted to the open palm?

Do we ourselves give in, alarmed?
Powerful and old; we're slowing,
we are, when caught in some new qualm.

Or human friend – you need alms,
others' helpings to keep you flowing,
indebted to their open palms?

This mandala of loving arms
is ever-present handshake-throwing.
We are, when caught in some new qualm,
indebted to these open palms.
I left my house with time to spare or so I had presumed
Until the trail I walked upon began to be exhumed
My eyes grew wide as I observed the things which had been hid
By the very thoughts I used to cover what I did
A rationale so skewed and dark was up against the truth
Internal battle's raging on til one side is consumed
These minutes pass and still I breathe just long enough to see
A future moment looms ahead, it's right in front of me
I'm stepping softly so as not to add to the unrest
That I have been alluding to, inside my empty chest
The wages earned exceeded far the debts I have to pay
For knowledge stored is not enough and nothing can outweigh
A lapse in judgement filled back up, revived and newly made
A wearied mind with nothing left, one nearly gone insane
Literally translated, "human" in Russian is, "eternal mind."
Either this town is without character, or my own lack thereof blinds
me to what style hums it into history. The brook's rapids are drowned
by the highway roar, central song that never passes through, spilling
over walls and roofs. A railroad collects rust between weeds, silent
authenticity. Impassive clouds remind me of other ways to witness.
And this is real, too; sadness accrues over store counters, fatigue
glowing in the pavement connecting all, cracked and rubble
facing skies a simulacrum grey. Inebriation, par for course,
a hidden semblance of a self-chosen haze within a haze.
Gravity, acoustic footfalls question my arrival here.

phosphene breath--
dark, dark mining town solstice
unearths inner rainbows
In this hour,
you are my lover;
purple dawn,
awakened sun,
drifting cloud,
chirping bird,
a silent poet,
listening to it.

In this hour
you are my lover;
moon beam playing,
on waves in water,
the silver  fish swimming
in languid surrender,
deep down under.

Every single moment,
you rule my heart;
song bird minstrel,
beyond compare,
sitting on a perch
in eternity's garden.
He raided
     her hideout,
             found a collection:
           all stolen hearts,
        "What did she do
     with mine?"
    he wondered
     with anguish
           and pain.
    It wasn't there,
      no clue yet.
             * She pretended
                     it was with her
                           all the while.
oOo opening
of a common ground
dialogue's playing field hosts
not only games for diplomats and mediators.
channel expanse of what i know you know i know i know
you know
you breathe with fibers woven at the birth of words
ooo mutual standing under rain and pointing at the same - no, the same over  there.
consummation of lies released no longer held i tell you i lied i am ashamed and in love and free again.
O locution
of a private sky.
secrets working well contain
a single link entraining ignorance at war.
suppress, hold tight, forget,
forget,
forget forever toss remembrancers of loss
i grit against the tension, and tensest death of signs :):(:
o exclusive lay above the sun and grasping for unique - yes, the unique  here.
tragedy of honesties imprisoned for all time, proud, from a first kiss setting hate in stone.
smoking at a newborn's crib, righteous bigotry
yet the voiceless innocence of child
goodness tender-eared and
never closed
We stilled the ghosts of the past,
after a prolonged dog fight.
Targets obliterated
thanks to our fighter pilots,
with their swords of light
and skillful maneuvers.

Remember it like yesterday,
the phantoms danced
an ecstatic samba,"Let's eat poppy flowers"
the chant rang throughout the dance.
The river of fire, we reached at midnight,
inner light flowed and we wept,
that was a night of silver blasts,
sky lit in brilliant white,
deep silence of the stars froze in to diamonds.

Find me meditate in the thicket of clouds,
we heard winged angels of peace ringing
silver Christmas bells, aloud.
When  the stars winked at me my being came alive
with the boundless light of cosmic pyhrotachics.
*The big dolphin jumped up  braking
the frozen sea mind,
Come now, we'll walk the whole distance smiling.
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