She feels more akin to a silhouette
Than she does skin, blood, and bone
She is outlined by shadows, silk, and lace
A queen perched upon a carven throne

She feels more akin to a bead of sweat
Than she does water, raindrop, or wine
She rises with the temperature in the room
Reinventing what it means to glisten and shine

Yet, I shall not jump to illusions this day
I lie in wait of a more tempestuous fate
The dancing her figure does throughout my mind
Never allows my heart chance to acclimate

She feels more akin to a midnight dream
Than she does morning or afternoon
She is beyond the setting of suns amidst horizon lines
The waxing and waning of the palest of moons

It used to be better to run with the devil I knew, but the devil I knew ran from me

And siphoned any remaining trace of faith in my soul

The devil I knew made me question the echoes born from my own voice

And delved into abysses that spanned eternity and beyond

The devil I knew held my sanity at knifepoint

And vilified the things that comprised the best of me

So now, instead of being the devil I know, it is far better to think of you as...

the devil I never met

Silver lullabies
Or golden symphonies?
Does it make a difference here
In the fallout of me?
There's a silhouette
Of my future failures
Cast upon the wall
By the violence of the violet
In her eyes
And now I dwindle
Receding into the twilight
Pushed through my own dreamcatcher
That you slipped right through
So gracelessly, so carelessly
And silver lullabies
Drown out golden symphonies
As my dreams keep on chasing you
I finally plead for tomorrow's mercy

I used to think I was a star
Sitting all alone in the universe
Burning through the fuel in my reservoir
Granting wishes upon those who gazed

But now it has become clearer

That I am more of a comet
Nary a clue to my destiny
Just careening recklessly through space
Leaving a trail of frigidity behind

Yet always,
Dreaming about that marvelous collision

"My dear, I am a vandal,"
I am an eclipse of your brightest days
I am merely hollow, and in great despair
A turquoise sunset in a sunrise maze
I am an event horizon
Better left to its own devices
We are fragile as a sundered vase
Reaching for stars when clouds suffice

"My dear, I am an arrowhead,"
I am doused in poison with no remedy
I am a covetous despot and a saboteur
Forever an omen of our catastrophe
I am the first feet in a field of mischief
A master seamster of discord
We hoard the rain in this eternal drought
Just to corrode, and rust, our lethargic swords

"My dear, I am a bane of goodwill,"
I am marshes in your gardens green
I am ravenous and armed with tongues
A veil over your dreams unseen
I am corruption in the incorruptible
I am a syndicate of deceit
We strive to thrive in a heartless abyss
Weaving webs and yarns of the bittersweet

The last 100 sunrises
The last 100 sunsets
Barely scratch the surface
Of the story we have written

The full road has been twisted
With perilous curves
Jarring speed bumps
And even a collision or two

But these last 100
Are now my favorite chapter
Because we finally collided
The way we were always supposed to

Amounting to more
Than my heart can hold
Stained silver cuts deep
With its poison-steeped blade
And the pen in my hand
Remains bitter cold to the touch

I write my pleas
With ice-coated words
Words that melt swiftly
As they dance upon coals
The embers of a fiery
And deceitful tongue

As I tiptoe along
The edge of the Earth and back
I notice there is scarcely
A whisper in the wind
Imprecise eyes
See only brackish blinks now

Fallen memories
Have piled outside my door
Yet my footprints
Are still sprinkled across the field
And I retreat,
Back to a haven of simple thoughts

I am hallucinating
As I watch pieces of myself chip away
As though I am a sculpture
For winter's amusement
Merely a plaything
Of this everlasting frost

Veiled to the rest of the world
I sit in silence
Terrified by the presence of myself

I must revive
The spirits that lay dormant
Buried within a crypt without a key

Trapped in a place no man, nor god
Ever dare follow
Consumed by these endless thoughts

I must cleanse
Like the mist that burns away
From the arrival of sunlight across the sky

Befriend me until the end
Because I am bound to my fate
We dance on clouds without silver linings
Yet, we wonder
Why only pennies fall from the broken sky

Betray me until I stay
Because I never stay in one place long
We're down to six degrees of separation
Yet, we wonder
Why we're always so **** cold

Keep pace, troubled feet
I am chasing my ghost through corridors again
Where the dark is boundless
And light is hunted like a hungry mouse
Save face, troubled eyes
Close now, leave tomorrow to the visionaries
Where life has become a race to the graveyard
A place where all the winners finally lose

So, I revel in my own destruction
I am judged by the jury of my own chapped hands
And I stitch wounds that have,
For all intents and purposes, become threadbare

Stay here, faint whisper
Stay within the shadows where I can hear you
Leaps and bounds have been taken
But night won't abandon me like the cowardly sun
Don't fear, faint courage
Rise up, leave lethargy to its hibernation
Clutch tightly to the reasons for your existence
Break skin and bone if it means your survival

But, I revel in my own destruction
I'm judged by the jury of my own squinted eyes
And I stitch wounds that have,
For all intents and purposes, become threadbare

I am just leftover shards
   Glimmering in the sand
       Carefree and camouflaged
             Where my eyes dry from salty seas

I am just salvage
   Resting upon my laurels
       On the shores
            Where sweet and bitter collide

Stop me if you have heard this one before.
"Boy meets girl."

Stop. Erase.

"Boy meets girl in a trivial pursuit."

Stop. Erase.

No, there is no meeting at all.
Meeting implies brevity.
A meeting is held in a conference room.
A meeting is not felt to the very core.
A meeting is no flower on the brink of bloom.

The reality is, the world ceases to spin on its axis.
The sun flares at the sight of her.
The moon implodes at the sound of her.
Mars and Venus collide at the touch of her.
All while constellations dance like moths,
Hovering far too close to a flame.

There is no pulse, only rhythm.
There is no break, only bend.
There is no rescue, only flailing.
There is no beginning, only end.

Now boy stands at the center of a great divide.
And girl disappears, abruptly as the tide.

Stop me if you have...

Stop.  Erase.

The man sits stationary in his favorite chair
While children are adrift in their dainty dreams
Fire spits, crackles, and warms the room
One that is far colder than it seems
Much like shimmering snowflakes fluttering down
Memories fall from his clouded mind
Santa should be half past San Francisco by now
Leaving crumbs and subtle grace behind
The man calls himself an imperfectionist
Because flaws are the greatest gift of all
But soon, carols will fade back into their music box
Only regret will deck these halls
Under a Christmas tree as green as his envy
Presents sit wrapped as tightly as his lips
Reindeer could be sailing across winter skies
But he's obscured by his mind's eclipse
There's no more bliss in the land of wonder
There's no more repeating of sounding joy
The man fades into uneasy Christmas slumber
So ends yet another year, as a misfit toy

All the shadows
Have gathered in the square
To sell their petty little trinkets
To those without a prayer
"Pennies on the dollar,"
Is the word on the wind
His cryptic smile is slowly curving
His broken mind relearns to bend

For he is as penniless as he is penitent
Sorrow spills across the cobblestone
Footsteps linger as long as rainbows
Memory outlives brittle bone
"Deal of a lifetime,"
Is the word on the wind
His dreams are crumpled papers
His shadow, his only friend

There is only one person in our short lives, where there absolutely is no depth too deep,
no obstacle too large, no bridge too far, nor sky too grey.

For I will dive where there is no air, I will push until my hands are raw, I will walk until my feet have bled, and I will chase the horizon until I have found the sun

Just to bring you back home.

Effortless
I am a freeform mystery
And I may never come home again

Treacherous
But I can no longer stand the waiting
Because these heavy pages will not turn themselves

Senseless
My rhythm is ridicule
But this world cannot confine me with its atmosphere

Perilous
They call me a dreamless dreamer
For beyond the sunset, I have been driven star-craving mad

Weightless
My burdens float away into deep space
But this is where my yesterdays become a crater

Ravenous
The aesthetics of the universe overtake me
And I have decided, I am never coming home again

I don't know if my heart is ever not broken
I don't know if my eyes are ever not heavy
I don't know if my skeletons are ever on vacation

"Don't say such things," they say,
Like I am more than a ripple in a creek
"Don't lose hope," they say,
Like hope is something I ever had

I don't know if my dreams are ever not in black and white
I don't know if my feet are ever not blistered
I don't know if my skin is ever not faded

"Take comfort," they say,
Like it's part of some grander plan
"Count your blessings," they say,
Like math was never my worst subject

I am falling through a nightmare
Now that you're not there
To catch me anymore
I am slipping into darkness
Now that I am no longer your mess
To save drifting out from shore

I am dreading my own reflection
All these mirrored imperfections
Burning a hole through me
I am pleading for forgiveness
Now that I am no longer your mess
To pull out of this careless sea

I am falling through a nightmare
Now that you're not there
To catch me anymore
I am slipping into darkness
Now that I am no longer your mess
To save drifting out from shore

There are depths of him
That will never see the light of day
The best of intentions only dig deeper
The seeds he plants only wither and decay

"My undoing" says the poet,
"Is the pity behind my personae,"
"The faults lie at my doorstep,"
"An eternity away from utopia."

He will never declare peace with his pieces
No matter how many wars he has waged
He will never surrender to his demons
Never unlock the key to his cage

"But the true culprit of the caper," says the poet,
"The orchestrator of this somber symphony,"
"The dastardly villain behind the hideous mask,"
"Will always....be me...."

I know that I am the reason
Behind my pain
My suffering
My loneliness

But yesterday has set forth in motion
A dream
A new dream
A better dream

One that brings a measured cadence
To my voice
To my song
To my existence

So now the stitches that I have sewn
Will no longer tear
When tugged
Or when stretched

And the world will rest at peace
With the spirit within
Me.  Myself.
And my soul.

If you only knew,
Of the weight that attached itself
To my heart
If you only knew,
Of the grief that I feel
Knowing I brought tears to your eyes
And if you only understood,
That you were my weightlessness all along
My respite
My home
My shoreline
Then maybe I wouldn't be tethered to this anchor
Still drifting in the current of my dreams

Outstretched hands
I'm governed by a cycle of choices
Wash.
Rinse.
Repeat.

Dirt under my fingernails
I listen to a thousand voices
Wash.
Rinse.
Repeat.

Gripping a shovel
I break earth and hit layers of shale
Break.
Stop.
Withdraw.

Eleven barren harvests
Yielding no fruit; just a thin, darkened veil
Break.
Stop.
Withdraw.

I suppose by now my disposition is bitter
From the gravitas that courses these bloodless veins
Write.
Speak.
Destroy.

I collect no glee from your failure
Nor scintillating coins that rattle at feet like chains
I just write.
Speak.
Destroy.

It's become clear that I've been charred by the lighting
And left deafened by the thunder
And somewhere along this trail of clouds
I've failed you
But the more I breathe, the more I believe
That the storm we weather
Will always make us savor the blue

For the scent of you
To come back around
All I need do is take a breath
For the thought of your silhouette
To pirouette across my mind
All I need do is close my eyes
For the tremors of your love
To shake my westward soul
All I need do is glance back east

Where our rivulets run quiet
And the cherry blossoms bloom
Where raindrops pool in the shadows
And the sky pleads, "mercy, mercy..."

For the steps of your feet
To echo through these halls
All I need do is stop walking
For the shimmer of your silken hair
To erase all colors of the rainbow
All I need do is drift off to dream
For the rhythm of your heartbeat
To remind mine to skip a beat
All I need do is be still

Sitting where our rivulets run quiet
And the cherry blossoms bloom
Where raindrops pool in the shadows
And the sky pleads, "mercy, mercy...'

Mercy.

The storm
It started long before I drew a breath
And it's bound to rage
Far beyond when I draw my last
The stars have been landing
Just outside of my front door
In such brilliant displays
Of silver, whispers, and fury
And I've been told there's a place
Full of dark veils and darker dreams
That we used to dance through
On our blinded path to the light
And to this madness
That has yet to speak, I say speak!
Be heard in this silent symphony
Do not linger in shadow, lurking
Because the storm
Is not yet halfway over yet
And all the hours we spend wringing
Would be far better served singing

Days removed from the womb
And they tell you that you have your father's eyes
Your brother's hair
And your mother's fiery disposition

Years down the road
And they tell you that the sky has lost its color
And speak, ad nauseum, of how your fate is entwined
With that of only the fairest of maidens

Pattering feet thunder down the hallway
As serendipity bleeds from eye to cheek
And nothing, no one, of this world
Can exhaust its endless supply

At the midpoint of what textbooks describe only as 'crisis'
Is where motion and emotion collide
And everyone, even the fairest of maidens
Run screaming back to the safety of castle walls

Then, almost as swiftly as life began
Oxygen starts to taste poisonous on an unfurled tongue
As pupils contract, ****, wouldn't father be proud
Of a son who sees what he only wants to see

Then come the grains of truth in the fairy tale
The ones so fine, that you would need a microscope
While tomorrow feels more like a curse
And the blessings, have taken flight and left the nest

Here at last, I feel at peace with the war I've waged
And sunsets don't seem as violet as the violence I've left behind
My mother's fiery disposition
Now simply ashes swept away by eastward winds

Echoes have grown quieter
Raindrops on the tin roof have grown softer
And daybreak feels like just the sequel to night

Patience has grown thinner
Vultures have grown bolder, and hungrier
And I find myself starting to sprout wings

I used to speak with a fraction of compassion
I used to smile with a tinge of yellow
I used to sleep with the promise of sweeter dreams

But now, the reality is,
Nothing makes me happy anymore,
Not even sadness.

And mired in that realization,
I am losing all sense of color
And by tomorrow, I may awake as pallid as the moon

I am astray, again
Or asunder, one of the two
These broken, branching, pathways
Have a knack for leading back to you
I am astray, again
Or softly spoken, one of the two
These broken, branching, pathways
Speak in whispers that sound like you
I am astray, still
Or forgotten, one of the two
These broken, branching, pathways
Have never erased my love for you

She is the lightning to my thunder
The one behind all my wonder
The gentle beauty to my erratic
The infallible melody to all my static
She is the patience to my haste
The kiss forever cemented in its taste
The mainland to my unsteady sea
The passion behind my every plea
She is the story I'm never erasing
The dream I will never stop chasing
The morning I want to wake up to
The lover I want to make love to
She is the compass to my misdirection
The light behind my dark reflection
The gravity when I'm drifting away
And the home where I want to stay