I miss holding you close to my chest
I miss the warmth of your embrace
I miss the faint smile you wear on your lips,
  whenever I kiss you on your cheeks.

I miss the way we both
  take away our pain
  ease our burdens
  replenish our strength
  and take our breaths away
while interlocking our bodies to rest.

One day you shall see
how a man can hide his wounds
for the sake of seeing the smile
  of the woman he bores deep
     of the offspring he would hold incessantly

One day you will fight
years above your fragile self
for the sake of living for others
  with worn out tools and dusty sheath
    with old wounds and a butchered heart  

One day, my son, you will learn
to be strong beyond your words
for the sake of thy posterity
    for the vengeance of thy soul
     for the indignation of thy folly

Then, and only then, will you become a MAN

I only need
  One picture
     One photograph
        To last a lifetime

I fear my fear is coming back
I run and hide away
but still am trapped
inside my shack

Of fog and smoke
of mud and myre
of skeletons unseen
of undying desire

Of musing turned scars
of vomits and vermin
of memories lost
and memories forgotten

My memory is such
full of anguish and pain
full of harm and regret
that's why I fear the rain

I wish I could give you
the sun and the moon

I wish I could give you
a worry free life

give you treasures to secure
your future with me.

I wish I had all the things you've dreamt about
all the characters that
your partner should possess

I wish that I could be someone
you'll be proud of

I may not have those things yet...
and I cannot promise to give you
   what I have no possession of.


But I do have these:
My pure love
My undivided attention
My faithfulness
My loyalty

These things I offer to you.
They don't seem that much...
but what I have, I give to you.

I love you Mahal,
in every little aspect that you have.
   Your tiny quirks, your nuances, your entire being.

I
Love
You

I open my eyes
and see the most beautiful expression
found in your subtle smile

Every morning
I smell your tender perfume
emanating from your skin
Driving me deeper within
being lost in the sensation
of this moment
   interlocking our lives

Every morning for the past month
I thank God for being alive
I thank God
for having you here in my arms
  every morning

Behind closed doors
is where my therapy lies
under the sheets
behind the passage of time

echoes and billows
of my fragmented mind
as my headaches are intertwined
with these heartaches of mine