I wanted to write
  poems for you

but it seems
  that I gloom in the shadows now

expecting the apocalypse
we will soon be in

Or the tears
that will flood my pillow

it seems
  that my last straw of hope
  was lost
  the last time I fell
  in love.

Building walls
  to keep the predators out
brick by brick
  each layer sorted out

A fortress for my castle
  sturdy without a doubt
to withstand the awful shadows
  to contain the silence after every shout

Building these walls
  to keep the predators apart.
But how do I protect myself
from the enemies living inside my heart?

Don't touch
   my broken pieces

     For each subtle movement
               drives trauma
     back to my gentle soul.

I need to forget you
like how the day forgets the night
how the drought forgets the rain
and the blind forgets his sight

I need to lose you
like a villain losing his sanity
like nakedness losing its dignity
like amnesia losing its memory

I need to forget you
I need to lose you
for the last time...
I need you.

What once was hallowed
has turned to dark
what once has purpose
is now an empty bark
like a dead wood tree
like a wheel that's stuck
is a hollowed soul I am
with all the yuck and the muck

Everything withers and dies
every memory loses its lush
Every fire, once immense and vile
subsides and withers from a hush

All things are lost in a moment;
like a robber lurking in the night
ready to take every valued possession
to cause us confusion and fright

A new fear I now dread
a new phobia I've developed:
That is to reach the end of my being
without reaching the peak of my endeavors

Me: You know what hurts?
Myself: What?
I: "Everything"